? asked in 社會及文化語言 · 1 decade ago

唔該幫我check下呢一篇cover letter!

Dear Sir

Application for the position of sales and marketing junior

I would like to apply the position of sales and marketing Executive as advertised in the http://www.careertimes.com.hk

CT: 3015129-01#04

Posted on 03/03/2008

I am graduated from Hong Kong Institute of Vocational Education in June, 2007. I am awarded a Diploma in sales and marketing. I have taken subjects such as International Marketing Management, Sales & Relationship Management, Marketing Communication and Distribution in China, Marketing Planning, Business management, Quantitative Techniques …….etc.

Moreover to my qualifications, I have some part time working experience. In last summer, I am working for Joint Publishing as a summer sale where I was responsible to a cashier and sales assistants. However, I have been working for Jusco of KornHill as a part time sale where I was responsible customer service representative. I have attached a copy of my resume which gives details of my educational background and qualifications for your reference.

I have a lot of initiative and I am also a work hard person. I am very interest in sales and marketing and I hope to work in a related field. I have little work experiments in this field but I can learn fast.

At last, I have enclosed my resume for you reference and I am confidence that I can success this position, give the opportunity. I would be happy to attend to an interview at your convenience. I look forward to hear from you.

Yours sincerely

Brian Lai

Encl

4 Answers

Rating
  • Favorite Answer

    Dear Sir/Madam,

    Application for the position of sales and marketing junior

    I would like to apply the position of sales and marketing Executive as advertised in the http://www.careertimes.com.hk

    CT: 3015129-01#04

    Posted on 03/03/2008

    I am a diploma student who graduated from Hong Kong Institute of Vocational Education in Sales and Marketing. I have taken many subjects which are related to this position such as International Marketing Management, Sales & Relationship Management, Marketing Communication and Distribution in China, Marketing Planning and so on. (其實只要寫一兩科同你現應徵職位有相關的科目便行了,不用列出太多科目出來。)

    Besides to my qualification, I have gained some part-time working experiences. Last summer, I worked in Joint Publishing Limited Company as a summer salesperson. My daily duty is going to handle the cash register and assist sales performance. Furthermore, I have been working for Jusco of KornHill for xxx years/months(代表時間)as a part-time customer service representative.

    I am a aggressive and diligent person. I am very interested in sales and marketing field. I am eager to learn and work in a related field. Althought I just have a little working experience in this field, I am a quick learner.

    I have enclosed my resume for you reference. I am confident that I can handle this position. It would be appreciated if you can provide me a time to attend an interview at any time. I look forward to hearing from your good news soon.

    Yours sincerely

    Brian Lai

    Encl

    Source(s): 自己,改得唔好請原諒
  • Frank
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    I suggest that the cover letter no need to write so long as an essay. It only simply introduce yourself and describe what's your purposes. The CV should be more detail.

  • ma
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    首先,你是寫應徵信,收信人並不知道你是誰。若你一開始便一直以「I」來稱呼自己,你就給收信人一個很自大的感覺,因為你要他人留待到信的最後才知道原來你叫做Brian。這樣,印象分就扣了很多。

    因為你已經附上了履歷表,所以你不用去多寫你唸過甚麼學科。若你要提,你可以提及一兩科成績優異而又跟職位有相關的科目,那樣可以讓招聘者對你有多點兒認識。

    若果你申請的職位需要用英文,你就要多作準備。如果你的cover letter寫得太好,而在面試時你說的英文跟寫的差了一截,那樣對你的機會也有負面影響。

    文法上的錯誤:

    * I am graduated - 畢業是主動的動作,也是過去發生的事情,所以要寫成I graduated。

    * I am awarded 也有同樣的問題,award是被動,該寫成I was awarded。

    * I have taken 這也是過去的事情,要寫成I took。

    * In last summer, I am working... 這也是過去了,沒有必要強調進行的動態,所以寫成Last summer, I worked...便可以了。

    * I was responsible... 之後要接for,並要說你的工作內容,而非職位或銜頭。

    * Initiative 是個可數字,所以a lot of之後便要加s,寫成initiatives。

    * Work hard person可能是中文直譯了,用英文寫,要把動詞寫成-ing,把副詞調在-ing前,並轉成成容詞:hard-working person。(She talks smoothly > She is a smooth-talking person. John looks handsome > John is a handsome-looking person.)

    * I have an interest in... 或者 I am interested in...,而非I am interest...。

    * Work experiments 該是 work experience吧。

    * I look forward to之後接名詞,所以是hearing from you,而非hear...。

    2008-03-07 12:14:25 補充:

    Dear Sir/Madam,

    Re: Application for the position of sales and marketing executive, CT: 3015129-01#04

    My name is Brian Lai, and I am writing to apply for the position of sales and marketing executive as advertised at http://www.careertimes.com.hk on March 3, 2008.

    2008-03-07 12:16:06 補充:

    I graduated from the Hong Kong Institute of Vocational Education in June 2007 with a Diploma in sales and marketing. My core coursework included (name a few important subjects and then elaborate on what you have learned).

    2008-03-07 12:16:35 補充:

    My work experience has been in the area of sales. Last summer, I worked at Joint Publishing as a cashier and sales assistant. (Explain what you learned there.) Since then, I have been a part-time sales associate at Jusco in KornHill. (Explain what you do at Jusco.)

    2008-03-07 12:16:44 補充:

    (Demonstrate that you work hard, take initiatives and how you demonstrate interests in sales and marketing. Actions are much stronger than words.)

    2008-03-07 12:16:57 補充:

    (I have little work experiments in this field but I can learn fast. -- Don't ever say this: you are highlighting your weakness!)

    I look forward to the opportunity of interviewing at your company. Please contact me at (phone number) or (email address).

    Yours sincerely,

    Brian Lai

  • 1 decade ago

    Application for the post of Ssales and Marketing Junior

    I would like to apply for the post of Sales and Marketing (Executive/Junior?) as advertised in http://www.careertimes.com.hk

    CT: 3015129-01#04

    Posted on 03/03/2008

    I was graduated from Hong Kong Institute of Vocational Education in June, 2007. I was awarded a Diploma in Sales and Marketing. I have taken the following subjects : International Marketing Management, Sales & Relationship Management, Marketing Communication and Distribution in China, Marketing Planning, Business management, Quantitative Techniques …….etc.

    Regarding my working experience, I worked as a "Summer Sales Asssitant" in the Joint Publishing last summer. I was responsible for manning the cashier counter. Sometimes I worked as Sales Asssitant also. Besides, I also worked as a partime Sales Assistant in the Jusco Department Store ( KornHill) (please quote the period of your service here).

    I am an initiative and hard working person. I am very interested in sales and marketing job. Though I have little working experiments in this field but I am a fast learner. I am confident I have good performance.

    I enclosed my resume for you reference and I am glad to attend an interview at any time convenient to you. I am looking forward to your reply. Thank you.

    Yours sincerely

    Brian Lai

    Encl

    Source(s): own knowledge
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.