Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingOther - Pregnancy & Parenting · 1 decade ago

I'm 18, a few weeks pregnant, and I'm finishing high school...?

I really want to know if any of you were in the same position I'm in right now and ended up keeping the baby, and if so I scheduled an abortion, but I'm really nervous about it and truthfully I want to keep the child. My boyfriend and I have talked about this extensively and his parents know, and although they told me what they thought would be best (getting an abortion and creating lives for ourselves first), they said they'd still support our decision either way, but I don't think they meant financially.

I'll have a sum of money that will cover us for the first few years, but I'm just wondering if any of you ended up finishing college and/or getting a job that allowed your family to be financially stable. My boyfriend is a junior in college and knows what he wants to do when he graduates. The problem is, I don't have any idea what I want to do yet and I'm afraid having a kid will permanently keep me from living my own life. Please help :). I'm really trying to stay positive.

Update:

I really want to know if any of you were in the same position I'm in right now and ended up keeping the baby and if so, how did it work out?

I scheduled an abortion, but I'm really nervous about it and truthfully I want to keep the child. My boyfriend and I have talked about this extensively and his parents know, and although they told me what they thought would be best (creating lives for ourselves first/not keeping it), they said they'd still support our decision either way, but I don't think they meant financially.

I'll have a sum of money that will cover us for the first few years, but I'm just wondering if any of you ended up finishing college and/or getting a job that allowed your family to be financially stable. My boyfriend is a junior in college and knows what he wants to do when he graduates. The problem is, I don't have any idea what I want to do yet and I'm afraid having a kid will keep me from living my own life. Please help. I'm really trying to stay positive.

Update 2:

cutie: I do love my boyfriend very much. I love his family as well, however, his parents both have jobs and probably wouldn't be able to babysit during the day.

I haven't gotten into college yet. I'm planning to go to a community college for a couple years because 1) I'd like to save money and 2) my GPA wasn't good enough to get me into schools I really wanted to go to.

My boyfriend goes to UC Berkeley. I don't know if they have childcare programs or anything, so we'll try to find that out.

Thanks for all of your replies so far, guys, it really really means a lot to me.

11 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    When I graduated high school I was 17 and had a 6 month old. I attended college the next fall and worked at a good paying job in the meant time. Many many women find themselves in this situation and are able to make a life and good living for themselves and their child. It isn't the child who limits your ability to make something out of yourself, it is your will power. Granted, you will need money for childcare while you go out and get your degree so that you can get a good paying job but even that isn't an excuse not to try. If you are low income enough, the state will pay all or most of your childcare expenses. Almost every college has a daycare on the campus to put your child in while you attend classes and that cost is covered under financial aid. I am now 24 years old, my husband and I are upper middle class, we live a comfortable life, and I was accepted into a private university. Things work out the way you make them work out. If you want to keep your baby, KEEP YOUR BABY. A child is a gift from God and if it is a gift you want to accept then first and foremost, make that decision. Once you have made that decision, map out the path you are going to take to make sure that you get in life where you want to be for your baby and yourself. Don't even consider your boyfriend in the senario. This is a decision about your body, your reproduction, and your life. He does not have any say in this, especially since he willingly had unprotected sex and in doing so, made the decision to allow himself to father a child. You can do this. I know how scary it is, believe me, I know. Hold your head up high, keep your child, and do everything you can to make something out of your life. The people who fail are the ones who let all of the excuses become reasons why something can't happen. There is always a way. If you need to talk more about this, please feel free to send me an e-mail.

  • 1 decade ago

    all those things are legitimate worries, but i wouldn't let them define you. you will still graduate high school, because you're pregnant for 9 months, and school should be ending in a few.. keep the baby. abortion is morally wrong, and does a number on you emotionally. just think of it like this.. you graduate high school. you can take some time off, or get a job.. whatever. have your baby, and get to spend some time with him/her. then you can go back to school. there is always a thing called a babysitter/nanny. having a child will not crush your dreams. don't let anyone tell you that. seems to me like you need a little time off to decide what you want to do anyways. you could also take classes online, so that way, you could do mommy and school at the same time. a child is a blessing. if you really decide it isn't for you, then look into adoption. there are some agencies that will even pay for your college by using them. just make the best out of an unwanted situation. i'm 21 and pregnant. i'm due in april. and i've never regretted not getting an abortion. neither has anyone i know. but i do know that everyone i've talked to that have had abortions, have always regretted it.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Becoming a mum isnt all that bad! Friends of mine had there baby's when they where 15 and 16, one has now gone on to owning her own chocalote/ cafe shop and the other is studying to be a vet nurse! When we have kids we think, man my life is over BUTT it's not over! Kids come along an show you a whole new life and mingle in with your old life! They bring joy and sadness and days when you think "why??" At the end of the day you choose what you want to do, being a mum is somthing that you can chose to do in 3 or 4 years time or you can go ahead an do it now. It want change who you are nor will having an abortion, it want make you a bad person, it'll be for the best if thats the option you go for.... same as if you decied to have the baby at the end of the day that will also be the best!! Do what feels right follow your heart!!

  • 1 decade ago

    Please stay positive and know that what worked for someone may not be what is right for you. I found my self in a similar situation pregnant in college. I got married had four kids and divorced eleven years later. Divorce is hard, raising a child on your own is harder but the best thing that ever happened to me is my children. Have you explored your options? Does your school have childcare? Can your boyfriend go to school at night while you go during the day? Will his parents be able to babysit while you both go during the day? College is hard but its harder the longer after high school you go. If you are able to go right after high school that would be your best bet. You know, no where in your letter do you mention loving your boyfriend are you sure you want to have his child right now? Good luck with whatever you decide!!! But when you have a baby consider breast-feeding. It's nutritious, plentiful, cheap and good for you and the baby!! Good Luck!!

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  • 1 decade ago

    wait! he has already lived his goal pretty much. he knew better than to get u preg, and he is a junior in college. How dare he agree that you abort the baby. And why is his parents making in deciscions in this?? thats your body, and something u will have to live with. from the looks of it, u might be torn apart because i think u really do want to have it. its not going to ruin ur life. ur life for all u know can get better. u can be giving birth to the next michael jordan or usher. look the point is ur life is like a book, its already written, you just have to live it. i say keep the baby, because yall should have thought about that before yall had sex. be responsible my dear. there are so many ppl who wish they had a kid.

  • im 18 and 35 weeks pregnant, i finished school and have my exams so when my baby comes, ill be able to get a good job, my boyfriend has a full time job that supports us at the minute, we have our own house and car and are anxiously awaiting our new arrival, i could never even think about giving my baby away or having an abortion, but thats just me.

  • 1 decade ago

    If you want to keep the baby, keep it. As far as holding you back. You will only be held back as far as you let yourself be held back. You can hire a babysitter or take your child to daycare so you can go to school. You can also check out online schools. If they have a campus close by you would have to go to take some tests but you will be home with your baby most of the time. I got pregnant at 18 but I had dropped out of high school at 16. I have since got my GED and I have gone to school to work the front office of a doctors office.

  • 1 decade ago

    I am pro choice, however, if deep down you DONT want to have an abortion then DONT do it. Youre going to regret it. Abortion is an option you go into knowing for sure its something you want to do and something you can easily live with with no regrets. I know it seems like bad timing, but things have a way of working themselves out.

  • Tony
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    a good friend of mines got pregnant at 16 she ended up going to adult school to finish school with good grades the whole way tru high school her BF was a real looser always fighting on thee streets ,drugs ,too stupid to go get passed 10th grade but he was good to her. she ended up going to UCLA despite the fact she did not have her parents support (they kicked her out)she graduated from UCLA kept her baby and now lives as nice of a life as anyone can hope for and she had no money,no parental support,Bf who always got in to trouble (he finally got hes act together when the kid was starting to see him) my point is the way i see it you have several advantages on my friend if you want to keep your baby then keep him/her it wont be easy but anything worth doing usually isn't easy but if you work hard and plan well you will turn out fine i wish you the best

  • 1 decade ago

    you said deep down you want to keep the baby...and yours and his parents will help out...sounds good to me

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