boyfriend has tried downloading porn on my computer... what shall i do?

Last night i woke up and saw my bf lying next to me in bed on my laptop... he was on a car sales website at the time looking at cars for sale so i thought nothing of it and went back to sleep.

Today (while he is at work) i decided to go on-line and i have just discovered that last night he tried to download some porn onto the laptop (i only know this because something he was trying to download is now showing up as 'incomplete'.)

This has really upset me, i didn't know he was like this! Now i feel like i'm not good enough for him or something, or that he does look at other women and things like that! Am i over-reacting here?

So now what do i do? What do i say? I hate him for trying to look at such stuuf when he's always told me he's not like that and i'm all he wants!

Do i send him a text message or do i call him? How far do i go to show him how upset i am about it... do i ask him about it then make sure i'm not in when i get home? what do i do? or am i over-reacting? HELP!

Update:

What sort of things do i say to him?

(the 'porn' was high school girls - he's 21 - which makes me feel physically sick) what do i say to him about that?

Or are all men like this? Should i just keep quiet about it and pretend i haven't seen! OR should i laugh it off with him and pretend i don't care?

22 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    He's a bloke. We masturbate. Get over it.

  • 1 decade ago

    1. Men (a good portion of, not all) like to look at naked women, no matter what they tell their wives or GFs. He thought he would take the opportunity while you were sleeping to check some out.

    2. Just because a man looks at porn it certainly does not mean he is in anyway dissatisfied with his partner. Porn is a fantasy, and this just means he has a private fantasy life and you don't need to be threatened by this. He considers it not much more than looking at cars he would like to own. Doesnt mean he will go get one, but he might like thinking about it.

    3. He shouldnt be doing it on your computer. This is not showing respect for you.

    4. Tell him you found some on your computer without blaming him directly. Tell him you don't know where it came from but be certain that he understands that you DONT like it. He will probably try and deny it was him as it is quite embarrasing for most men. But bringing it up in a straightforward way will ensure he will not do it on your computer again.

    5. As far as looking at high school girls, he is only 21 and not far from high school himself. This is hardly surprising that he would be attracted to this type of site. Most of the girls on these sites are well past high school age anyway. Once again it is just a fantasy.

  • sedler
    Lv 4
    3 years ago

    he's thoroughly mendacity to you. He downloaded it. and such as you reported earlier he lied to you approximately something else. this is the way it starts. infants do this. They mislead you and notice how far they are able to push you. Then they lie back to work out in the event that they are able to push you somewhat farther. It starts off with this. you're saying which you don’t care if he downloaded porn and that i completely have self assurance you. you in basic terms don’t like the mendacity. because of the fact petty mendacity finally leads to deeper darker mendacity. and that i'm very particularly internet savvy. it could have surpassed off as he reported however the possibilities are high very, very very, slender. nicely those look very particular titles. he's thoroughly watching porn. He possibly theory two times approximately downloading it, for this reason it stayed at 0 p.c. and did no longer think of it became going to stay interior the receive log. the respond you receive from...darn I overlook his call. the guy that states it rather is illegitimate is stable! Sorry I had no thought what limewire or although became. Sorry! stable success to you

  • 1 decade ago

    Yes most men will look at porn and those that say they don't do but in secret. How to explain - men are visual and they like to look and watch. You can fight him on this and forbid him - but since you don't own him he can do what he wants, and he will still look at it but in secret. You can watch it with him. Or you can except the fact that this will happen, watch a little sometimes and then leave him alone. He will masturbate and he will look at porn and both of those things does not mean he doesn't find you attractive.

    You are going to compare yourself to these women, well then you need to grow a thick skin, or just look at it this way - he looks at them but comes home to you - you are a good person who he loves and they are not the highest standard of women on the planet - such is life.

    As for what to say to him - wait till he gets home and be nice -no yelling or name calling - and tell him that you understand that he is looking at porn but that downloading that onto your laptop is out of the question (due to viruses, work something that is plausible). Be honest and listen to what he says. If you yell at him or make him feel bad for this he will look at you like you are his mom and scolding him and no man wants that.

    Good luck

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Ask him why he did it. Maybe he wants more from your sex life or not. Men do these sorts of things. I was lucky my ex boyfriend wasn't into porn. But you've got to remember, he can never get these girls; they are made up to look like that. Some of their boobs are enlarged by computers to impress men. They are forced to fake tan and they where too much make up. You are a normal person, these girls aren't. There is no answer to why men like 'fake' naked women and I don't think you will ever find out. I've asked quite alot of boys why they like it and all of them said "I don't actually know." So yeah, you can't really stop them. But just remember, he is with you because he loves you and if you mention this to him then he will see that he has hurt you and will hopefully stop. If not then consider blocking the site or if its that bad then move on. I really can't guarantee that the next lad you find will not like porn. (If you want to find another lad). My friend's boyfriend stopped looking a porn when he started dating her. If he loves you, he will listen to you. If not, ask him why he does it and what he wants from it. :) Hope this helps. xxx

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    i'm a bit like u i'm 21 so is my hubby and i dont like the thought of him lookin at porn, he always claimed he didn't etc. But now i have come to realize he still loves me and its not like he actually wants to sleep with these women, its just men do like a sneeky look. I wouldn't make to big a deal of it, maybe even watch it with him. I now watch it myself and i have to say i love it!! Good luck girl!!

  • 1 decade ago

    Hmm, that's a tough one. At the end of the day it's personal opinion really. Some people have no problem with porn and others greatly dislike it, everyone's different!

    If you guys have a good relationship just try and ask him about it. Don't start ranting at him as soon as he gets home, just calmly and cooly bring it up with him. Try not to get yourself really worked up, just tell him how you feel about it and see what he has to say!

  • 1 decade ago

    Most men look at porn when they think their gf isn't watching. I know mine certainly does. I just laugh it off, as long as he's not looking at anything illegal, I don't care. But if you really feel uncomfortable with it, you should tell him how it makes you feel.

  • 1 decade ago

    Yeh unfortunately 98% of men are like that. They all look at it but to do it at your side in bed is taking the p*ss, I'd have serious words and tell him that that was his one chance and he gets no more!

  • 1 decade ago

    all men look at porn unless they r gay and he most likely didnt want 2 wake u up 4 sex so he just did it 4 him self he was thinking of waking u up but decided 2 let u sleep and do it 4 himself he was just thinking of u

  • 1 decade ago

    hahaha..

    woah!!calm down..

    all guys from the age of 15 upwards watch porn,so its nothing to be scared,even guys with wives or girlfriends watch porn,not because they don't like their girlf anymore,it could be something to do with fantasies,or to pick up tips lol.

    don't be surprised if one night,he tells you to dress up as naughty school girl,Britney Spears style haha...lighten up,you could have loads fun!!lol

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