Bc she is getting desperate and her writers are not advising her wisely. As far as the speaking first goes, that was ridiculous. Some of her behavior plays into the unfair stereotypes that people have about women. That was petty and stupid. PLUS, as I recall Clinton got the last word in the last debate and that allowed her to give her disingenuous "Kum bah Ya" speech.
Further, since she and Obama's policies are so similar, it is really to her advantage to speak first. On most things Obama will be forced to agree with her or only expand upon we she has already said. She and her, "I'm a fighter" rhetoric is way to reminiscent of Bush who wants to fight every damned one.
Finally, that whole business about having a woman in the Whitehouse would make things different was unfair. If Barack had said that having a Black/White man in the Whitehouse things would be different there would be outrage. She can't have it both ways. She can't run as a woman candidate and tell us to ignore her stereotypically "female" behavior.