Just how old is dirt anyway?

I'm trying to figure out if I am as 'old as dirt' like others claim. I probably wouldn't admit it if I were but still good to know. Secretly.
Update: Oopsies ~ let me clarify. People don't tell that I am as old as dirt. I hear others claim they are as old as dirt so I was just wondering what that really means.

I am very confident in my age and appearance. I know I don't look a day over 3 billion. Boom badda bing thank you very much. lol.
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