Am I stable or unstable?

My friends all have emotional problems:

One is clinically depressed (high chance of being bipolar), is extremely lonely, among other things.

Another complains constantly and has anger issues.

And my third friend has several mood and emotional problems and was raped in the past.

I am moderately depressed (for 5 1/2 years now) and self injure.

My boyfriend says that out of the people we know I'm the stable one. I am certainly not as unstable as my friends, but I don't believe him saying I'm completely normal. Am I missing something here?

Update:

"Please stop doing that for starters"

I'll get right on that. Okay done. -_-

Not that simple.

No, I'm not being treated. But I may be soon.

Update 2:

Ever since High School friends of mine would depend on me for safety or advice. It always left me feeling weird. Like I WAS capable of helping them, but not myself or something.

Update 3:

"that you want something to be wrong with you"

No, I just feel like I'm caught between being seen as normal and not living up to that.

Some of you seemed to have misunderstood me.

Update 4:

"he is trying to be nice to you by saying good things"

That makes me feel worse. :(

10 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    The fact that you self injure means you are not stable. It's good that you have enough insight to know and admit that it's going on, but it is a classic sign of instability. Your boyfriend is just trying to be kind (and that's a good thing, but it would be better if he were kind and openly honest with you--but he is just trying to protect you from hurt). As for your other friends, I don't think it's a good idea to compare yourself. My suggestion would be to concentrate on getting yourself the treatment you need to become stable. If you start thinking about and taking on all the woes of your friends as well, you'll have no chance really to get yourself to a good, solid, stable place emotionally. Of course you care about your friends and the best thing you can do for them (and you) is take care of yourself and get yourself treatment. When they see you do that, they will be encouraged to do the same. Just a suggestion. The only thing you are missing is the actual treatment you need. It is very important that you NOT compare, because a sort of comparing is part of the pathology of your condition, in my opinion. I say that because you do sound a little borderline personality-ish to me, and comparing people is a definite dysfunction of that condition. Don't get me wrong; I'm not diagnosing you. I'm only telling you what it sounds like to me. For your sake and your friends' sake, please get some help and treatment for yourself, and good luck.

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  • smiles
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    You did miss something but you self injured yourself which means you cause harm to yourself which means you're the most unstable person out of your other friends. I am open to say it. Many friends don't speak up in fears of hurting you more. It's best to know the truth, right, so you can get better. This way you can be diagnose in a proper way.

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  • Greg P
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Self injury is a textbook definition of instability. Please stop doing that for starters :)

    It sounds to me like your the person that everyone goes too, and without the training doctors go through, it can be VERY hard to be that person (I know, I've had to talk 3 people out of suicide and see 1 of them go to a mental hospital). It's affected me alot, even though I have some training.

    The best thing you can do is to get your friends to see professional doctors who can help them. Your not trained to deal with these conditions, all of them can be very trying, and your certainly not trained to handle PTSD (what your third friend probally has). All of those conditions are treatable though, I've seen it.

    You need to talk to someone yourself, self injure is very serious.

    It's a common trap that caregivers fall into, your being a great friend, but you need to look out for yourself too.

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  • 1 decade ago

    id say ur perfectly stable but depression arises wid every1. wid me i have been depressed since da last 7 years due to a loss of some1 special, but there were occasions when i totaly 4got all abt it n tat only happend when i took some help from a doctor ppl think tat if u go to doctors for this kinda problem they will think tat u r mad or something but bliv me it helped me alot. wat i needed was to open up my heart to some1 whome i knew wudnt tell all around n help me in a way i knew wud be best 4 me the reason to open up my feelings in front of a stranger was that i thought i cant trust the ppl around me mayb tats ur problem too, n opening up was so much better than keeping it all in, i also tried going out more, socialize more wid more fun n adventurious ppl but i never left my old pals so shudnt u unless n until u think tat maybe they r the reasonm 4 ur depression

    ur boyfriend may have not told u tat u r stable tats bcuz maybe he also wants u 2 be jolly wid him, every person wants to be around some1 wholl make them laugh so does ur boyfriend n he'll want tat even more as he has an intimate relation wid u, he might support u in all ways but he also needs to knw tat he is around ppl wholl make him laugh n he will love u more 4 tat

    as far as the matter goes tat whether u r as abnormal as ur other friends ill say u r perfectly normal than the rest of ur friends

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Actually, it sounds as though what your boyfriend means is that, despite your problems, you seem much more mentally well-balanced than many of your friends. However, as he is not a mental health professional, his assessment is questionable.

    If you want to know the truth, then seek a mental health professional and let them evaluate you.

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  • 1 decade ago

    You sound more stable than your friends. Are you being treated for your depression? If not, you should do that. Being normal is kind of boring, but it is better than being not normal. Go see a counselor and work out your problems so you KNOW you are stable. Good luck.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If you injure yourself, then you are not stable and need to talk to your doctor. Let me ask you now, Why is it that all teens these days need to have something "mentally wrong" with them in order to feel "normal"?

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  • Prince
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Hi,

    You sound more stable than your friends.... and you are not completely normal... he is just being nice to you....

    Cheers

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  • 1 decade ago

    You seem like you have borderline personality disorder and that you want something to be wrong with you...the cutting tipped it off.

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  • 1 decade ago

    he is trying to be nice to you by saying good things

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