How long can you leave a 2 year old to cry before you comfort him or her?

I have a two year old son who just doesn't want to go to sleep at night. I let him cry for about ten min, and sometimes he settles down, and other times he doesn't.

I do go to him if he crys for more than ten min. Is that all right? Should I let him continue to cry, or should I go to him sooner?

12 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    The 'Control Crying' method works. I went to a sleep school with my then 15 month old daughter to learn this method.

    You put them to bed awake when they are showing tired signs, and tell him "It's time to go to sleep". Then you leave the room. Let him cry for 2 minutes, then return, put him back in bed, tell him the same thing again, and walk out. This time let him go for 4 minutes, before you return.

    Do exactly the same thing every time, increasing your absence by 2 minutes - 2,4,6,8 & 10. Once you have let him cry for 10mins, if he's still going, go back in, do the same thing and let him go for another 10, then another 10. If he is still going after that, start at 2 minutes again and repeat.

    If at any stage while you are timing his cries, he stops for 30 seconds or more, restart the clock. So if you are timing 4mins and at 2mins he stops for a while, when he starts crying again, start timing the 4 minutes from then.

    Within a day, my daughter would be asleep before I got to 6 minutes and after a week, I was lucky if I had to go in at all. Now she's 2 and goes to bed as soon as I put her down. The key is to be consistent. Do the exact same thing every time and they quickly realise that its bed time and you are not going to give in. It also teaches them to put themselves to sleep without any assistance.

    Good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    I have twin sons that are 4 yrs old. When they were that age I did the exact same thing. I would wait maybe 10 minutes and then go in and tuck them back in and give them hugs and such. I don't think there is necessarily a right or wrong way. But I think you are on the right track. Eventually once they know that bedtime insn't negotiable, they will go to bed easier. It takes time. Best wishes!

  • 1 decade ago

    If you dont have a routine already, start one. Books are a great start. Also after the books review the good things about his day, and even ask him something he wants to dream about, or that makes him happy. Besides helping with his vocabulary, might help to put him in a better mindset about going to sleep.

    But when they do cry, Ill wait the ten minutes too, then tuck in the blankets, and remind them to think about happy things. Doesnt always work, but usually does.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    My son has been crying for over an HOUR. He's going to be three in June. He only does this when I give him to daycare in the morning and at night at bedtime. I just tried the 2 minute, 4 minute thing AND also the looking for monsters thing (which made him laugh) and kept the door open a bit, telling him I'd be right here. He hasn't cried since. Ah, I love this forum already. Thank you.

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  • 3 years ago

    this can look a touch recommend yet I used to take a seat my nephew down on the settee, and tell him he could upward push up even as he grow to be waiting to end crying and that i does no longer say something else to him. i could take a seat on the settee on the different fringe of the room and wait. it frequently only took a 0.5 hour at maximum. After some days he does no longer even cry even as he grow to be dropped off. If he cries even as at playgroup or tale time basically get rid of him from the project. it really is only my suggestion for when you're particular that there is not any longer something bodily incorrect with him. sturdy luck

  • 1 decade ago

    Usually ten mins is good the first time. You go in and say "I love you, but it's time for night night." If he keeps crying, wait ten more minutes, and repeat until he finally falls asleep. It took me a week to get the routine down with my oldest. But now my hubby and I have our lives back. lol. Good luck to you.

  • 1 decade ago

    My 21 and 18 year old were left to cry. It takes great restraint to not give in to them. If they have been fed, and diapered, you should let them cry themselves to sleep. It doesn't take long before they realize bedtime is sleep time. It sounds cruel, but in the end it will let you all sleep at night. My boys turned out just fine, and I'm very proud of them.

  • 1 decade ago

    10 minutes is a good amount of time. My son took 3 weeks to start going to bed again after we switched him to a twin sized bed. We would just go in and place him back in bed. We did that until he would finally pass out. I guess that he finally figured that it was a losing battle. I wouldn't talk to him or comfort him too much, just hug him and put him back into bed.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Let him cry, he knows that if he holds out for awhile you'll come in and comfort him. It's an attention thing for him. Let him cry it out, even if it takes an hour or so, after one or two nights he will be broken of the habit.

  • 1 decade ago

    they can be VERY stubbonr at that age, but they are still babies. My daughter is 22 months and she is a BABY... I couldnt let her cry even 5 minutes.

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