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Anonymous asked in Politics & GovernmentPolitics · 1 decade ago

Wouldn't it be great to turn on the TV and hear any U.S. President, Democrat or Republican give the following


"My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short . The United Kingdom, Spain , Bulgaria , Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. THEN EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER IT'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China .

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bonne chance, mez amies.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2 its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra thousand tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America It is time to eliminate homelessness in America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America . Thank you and good night. "

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

11 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Fabulous man !! What a great job of making these other countries take responsibility .

    Another man, about 35 years ago, had something very similar to say .

    It's long but worth every milisecond . Written by Canada's most famous Journalist , Gordon Sinclair .


    Broadcast June 5, 1973

    CFRB, Toronto, Ontario

    Topic: "The Americans"


    The United States dollar took another pounding on German, French and British exchanges this morning, hitting the lowest point ever known in West Germany. It has declined there by 41% since 1971 and this Canadian thinks it is time to speak up for the Americans as the most generous and possibly the least-appreciated people in all the earth.

    As long as sixty years ago, when I first started to read newspapers, I read of floods on the Yellow River and the Yangtse. Who rushed in with men and money to help? The Americans did.

    They have helped control floods on the Nile, the Amazon, the Ganges and the Niger. Today, the rich bottom land of the Misssissippi is under water and no foreign land has sent a dollar to help. Germany, Japan and, to a lesser extent, Britain and Italy, were lifted out of the debris of war by the Americans who poured in billions of dollars and forgave other billions in debts. None of those countries is today paying even the interest on its remaining debts to the United States.

    When the franc was in danger of collapsing in 1956, it was the Americans who propped it up and their reward was to be insulted and swindled on the streets of Paris. I was there. I saw it.

    When distant cities are hit by earthquakes, it is the United States that hurries into help... Managua Nicaragua is one of the most recent examples. So far this spring, 59 American communities have been flattened by tornadoes. Nobody has helped.

    The Marshall Plan .. the Truman Policy .. all pumped billions upon billions of dollars into discouraged countries. Now, newspapers in those countries are writing about the decadent war-mongering Americans.

    I'd like to see one of those countries that is gloating over the erosion of the United States dollar build its own airplanes.

    Come on... let's hear it! Does any other country in the world have a plane to equal the Boeing Jumbo Jet, the Lockheed Tristar or the Douglas 107? If so, why don't they fly them? Why do all international lines except Russia fly American planes? Why does no other land on earth even consider putting a man or women on the moon?

    You talk about Japanese technocracy and you get radios. You talk about German technocracy and you get automobiles. You talk about American technocracy and you find men on the moon, not once, but several times ... and safely home again. You talk about scandals and the Americans put theirs right in the store window for everyone to look at. Even the draft dodgers are not pursued and hounded. They are here on our streets, most of them ... unless they are breaking Canadian laws .. are getting American dollars from Ma and Pa at home to spend here.

    When the Americans get out of this bind ... as they will... who could blame them if they said 'the hell with the rest of the world'. Let someone else buy the Israel bonds, Let someone else build or repair foreign dams or design foreign buildings that won't shake apart in earthquakes.

    When the railways of France, Germany and India were breaking down through age, it was the Americans who rebuilt them. When the Pennsylvania Railroad and the New York Central went broke, nobody loaned them an old caboose. Both are still broke. I can name to you 5,000 times when the Americans raced to the help of other people in trouble.

    Can you name me even one time when someone else raced to the Americans in trouble? I don't think there was outside help even during the San Francisco earthquake.

    Our neighbours have faced it alone and I am one Canadian who is damned tired of hearing them kicked around. They will come out of this thing with their flag high. And when they do, they are entitled to thumb their nose at the lands that are gloating over their present troubles.

    I hope Canada is not one of these. But there are many smug, self-righteous Canadians. And finally, the American Red Cross was told at its 48th Annual meeting in New Orleans this morning that it was broke.

    This year's disasters .. with the year less than half-over… has taken it all and nobody...but nobody... has helped.

  • 1 decade ago

    It would be refreshing wouldn't it.

    I especially like the part about cutting off aid to countries who do their utmost to vilify us at ever opportunity. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you.

    The only political leader who might consider giving this speech is John Howard but unfortunately he's Australian.

    And to P,L & H; You need to get yourself educated bud. The amount of money we send to other countries in foreign aid is disgusting and would dwarf the amount spent on Iraq and it's been going on alot longer than the war. As for the oil... we have enough domestic oil reserves in this counrty to take over as the #1 oil producing nation in the world and keep that status until fossil fuel technology becomes a fossil itself. You really need to get a clue.

  • Oh yes, and please add. Since the Constitution and the bill of rights are absolutely the best form of Government, we will reduce aid by 10% for each of the first 10 amendments you do not allow to your Citizens.

    Effective immediately, Any law you have that pertains to American goods being imported to your country will now be in effect to the goods you import to ours. if you require only left handed homosexuals to unload goods at the docks, you will have to hire them to unload your goods at our docks. You make the rules for us, you make them for yourselves.

    The same will immediately go into effect for the naturalization of your citizens to become our citizens. If you require a 10 year waiting period and vouchers from their first grade teacher, we will require the same.

    Do unto the USA , as you would have the USA do unto you.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    The whole world would be happy if the US disappeared out of sight.

    I just wonder why these words were not spoken 100 years ago.Perhaps the US would have stayed the pissy country it should have always been,if it had not invaded the rest of the world and exploited its resources under the pretext of "helping and liberating".

    Bring on this great president,my friend,and you have my sincerest congratulations.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    First, it's not going to happen. Secondly, what are you going to do with half, or more, of the U.S. population who were against the Iraq invasion from the start? Dream on, because the invasion of Iraq will go down in history as the single most disastrous decision in U.S. history.

  • 7 years ago

    ***** YAA ASSS

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Too bad it's full of lies and false assumptions.

    Two examples:

    1) All the oil in Alaska would AT MOST provide for six months of the USA's energy needs.

    2) Aid to all those countries you mention is no where even close to the cost of Bush's lie-based war in Iraq.

    We've had 8 years of an ignorant President who made just these sort of bone-headed decisions based on false information.



  • mikey
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Sounds pretty good to me! That's why it will never happen.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Never get tired of this one, at least we dream about a candidate like that.

  • 1 decade ago

    Just read this the other day. And, yes it would be great.

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