士翔 asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

英文自傳,請幫我校正(一)

1. Background

I am XXX, grew up in a one-parent family with four members. To improve the family financial situation, my mother paid most of her attention on works but not children. Being the oldest child of my family, doing housework and taking care of my younger sister and brother well as possible as I can is unquestionably my responsibility. It makes me more independent, responsible and reliable.

2. Job experience

I had been a clerk of Clothing Store for one years. It made me know how to interact well with variety of customers and provide them the service they should needed immediately. Because of my responsibility and reliability, I was appointed the manager of a new branch store one year later. It was really a great pressure for me. But I just worked hard and approached the expected business achievement every month.

3. College experience

My major is XXXX and graduated form XXXX University. During my college period, I had been class representative and officer of International Business Student Association. Thus I had planned and executed several successful activities. Arranged and distributed all resource what we have, thought over and planned every details well were all the essential factors of successful activities. I had also learned how to execute as planned, face some unexpected situations and solve them from these events.

自己越寫越心虛,英文有點爛,麻煩幫我校正一下文法錯誤。

如果能夠就自傳方面給我一些建議然後修正更好,謝謝 ^^

由於字數的問題要分兩篇貼,麻煩請到"英文自傳,請幫我校正(二)"這篇繼續幫我校正一下

對了,用翻譯軟體或翻譯網頁的請別來 orz

3 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    1. Background

    My name is XXX, grew up in a single-parent family with four members. To improve the X financial situation for the family, my mother paid most of her attention on work but not children. Being the oldest child X, doing housework and taking care of my younger sister and brother as well as I can is unquestionably my responsibility. It made me more independent, responsible and reliable.

    2. Job experience

    I had been a clerk in a clothing store for one year. I learned how to interact well with varieties of customers and to provide them the services they need immediately. Because of my responsibility and reliability, I was appointed as the manager of a new branch store one year later. It was really a great pleasure for me. Then I worked harder and met the business expected achievement every month.

    3. College experience

    I graduated from XXXX University and majored in XXXX. During my college period, I was the class representative and the leader of International Business Student Association. Thus I X planned and executed several activities successfully. To arrange and distribute all the resources we have, think over and over and plan every detail well were all the essential factors of a successful activity. I had also learned how to execute as planned, face the unexpected X and solve them from these magnificent experiences.

    這是我的建議,有些是文法有錯的,有些雖然沒錯,但是我覺得改了比較符合英語的表述方式,或比較順口。

    必須要說的是,我覺得你這篇自傳真的寫得很好,看得出來花了很多時間字字斟酌,字彙豐富,不落俗套。

    Good Job!!!

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  • 1 decade ago

    1. Background

    My name is XXX, grew up in a single-parent family with four members. In order to improve the financial situation, my mother paid most of her attention on works. Being the oldest child in my family, I have to do lots of housework and take care of my sister and brother since childhood. It had built up my independent, responsible and reliable personality.

    2. Job experience

    I had been a clerk of Clothing Store for one years. I learned how to communicate with various customers and catch their needs to offer the best service immediately. Because of my responsibility and reliability, I was promoted to be the manager of a new branch store after one year. Although it was really a great pressure for me, I still worked very hard and approached the expected forecast every month.

    3. College experience

    My was graduated form XXXX University majoring in XXXX. In the period of college, I planned and executed several successful activities while I was the class representative and attended the International Business Student Association. To arrange and distribute all resources we have, to think and plan every details well were all the essential factors of a successful activity. Based on the experience, I learned how to execute as planned, face and solve the unexpected situations.

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  • 1 decade ago

    你可以去下面那個部落格看看,他上面有發表很多自傳翻譯的文章和相關資料,還有許多英文學習相關,對你的翻譯應該滿有幫助!還有一些面談面試的要領,你都可以參考喔!你若有問題也可以發問或是留言!

    部落格網址:http://tw.myblog.yahoo.com/supercanada2007

    ps他上面有很多中英自傳範例你可以參考看看 .....

    Source(s): 很實用的求職、翻譯部落格
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