Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 decade ago

my husband is thinking of fighting for custody of his 9 yr old son.?

my relationship of 7 yrs has lasted longer than his ex wife's 3 marriages and many guys. she is brainwashing our son so he gets to the point he doesnt want to come here much, she has moved 7 times in the 9 years of our sons life. she is not home in the morning to get him off to school or feed him and she is not home when he gets home from school to help with homework. her mom does it.her mom also feeds him dinner. she gets home from work and then is gone within 2 hrs. then she comes home late. he cries over everything and he is so brainwashed by her. she gave him a cell to call her when he is here and he is to put the phone down so she can hear whats going on here.she treats him like a baby. she was sharing a bed with him until dyfs made her give him his own room.how can we fight for custody?

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  • 1 decade ago
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    i would, that would have been something that i would have tried a while back. you dont need a reason to fight for custody just be prepaired for a fight, she sounds like she is using the support for her own gains so i would try and work on getting the children. thats something that i am trying to work on regardless but thats just me really.

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  • 1 decade ago

    All I can say is that. There will ALWAYS be an invisible "umbilical cord" attached between child and mother. And there is no one that can cut that.

    Is the child being abused? If yes, then yes there is a problem. Maybe she does need the help of someone, and it's better to come from the grandparents than from anyone else. i'm sure your husband is always seeing his child. Now to whether she is a brainwashing a child's mind, you need to have A LOT of proof of what she is doing and if what she is doing is wrong.

    Now, to get custody just so he can feel victorious, or just because after 9 yrs he decides to be a father, not that it's wrong. I dont see anything wrong in sharing a bed with your child AS LONG AS there's no sick intentions. (which i dont think that's her case)

    Are you a mother? If no; let me tell you that there are no words to describe a mother's love to her child. I'm sure she is suffering with all of this too. Put yourself on her shoes. :(

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  • 4 years ago

    You must get an attorney. Call female attorneys and more legal aid societies - if ex has money then fees can be paid later after you get settlement. File a written complaint about the dogs with animal control. Pits and Rotts are known to be a danger to small children. Explain what they have done to frighten the boy - growled at or cornered him. Also file report with Child Protective Services regarding the dogs and the 18 yo violent criminal. File a complaint with the Texas Bar Association to get money back from lawyer - should never have taken your money. There is probably more to the story so if you have any drug or alcohol issues etc, get clean and stay clean. Get your mom to photograph him when she first gets him at her house if there are bruises or if he is dirty - also get her to keep a diary of what he talks about and the ways his normal behavior might have changed due to trauma - it would be even better if you could get a social worker to interview your son and make a formal report. Write your local politicians and go to the YWCA for help. Get a friend to help you write and proofread a clear factual non-emotional bulleted list of issues with the 1st one being that the ex has told the boy to call his fiance "mommy" and to stop calling you "mommy" and who the witnesses are and number 2 being that he is frightened of the dogs and why. Submit this to Child Services and to the judge. If your husband has enough money to influence local police and judges then document everything in clear language and start pushing at the state level. Apply to the judge for your husband to pay you support now during divorce. Heck, if nothing else works write to Dr. Phil or some local program in TX that is into drama. I hope your child comes out of this unharmed. Best of luck.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You can get a lawyer and ask for a custody evaluation. It is a lot of money but might be worth it. You could also petition the court and ask for therapy for just your step son or family therapy. That is what I am doing. I have custody of my kids but there are issues when they see their dad, even though he doesn't see them much, it can still damage the children and therapy might be a good idea. If he says something bad the therapy has to report it. Good Luck!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    This can be a tremendous problem for you. This can go on for months since the child does not want to stay with you. If the facts you have stated are true then this is my advice to you....The next time you have your son take the cell phone and remove the battery from it and do not let him go back to your Ex. Let him take you to court and defer all your costs to him. That is the only place this can be resolved.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Your husband needs to get a lawyer and file for custody. It will most likely be costly and almost always someone from Social Services will schedule interviews with his ex, the child, and your husband. A lot of judges trust the reports of these people.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well... You re the step mother correct?

    basically it is not Ur decision to get involved.

    All you can do is love you re "step son" and be there for him when he needs it. I know that u love him, but to tell you the truth.... I hate my step mother. You know why? it's because she got involved with my life way to much as a child. She tried to be my mother, and put things in my head to try to hate my real mother.If youre husband really wants to do whats best for his son, then he'll know what to do. But stay out of it.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I don't think you have any grounds for taking a child away from his mother. Things do sound rough and suggest you keep an eye on things, but you have to have pretty good evidence that she is either an unfit parent or there is abuse going on to take away her custody rights.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Get an attorney and start documenting everything. Sounds like you've got a big job ahead of you though, because remember that you've got a big battle to fight, but once it's won, you've got ANOTHER big battle to fight, and that's the damage that's been done to this kid emotionally. So please don't start this unless you are prepared for many hard years ahead.

    Most people start these custody battles because they feel sorry for the kid but believe me, just because you're trying to do the right thing does NOT MEAN that the kid is going to all of a sudden start behaving and being "OK" because he/she is so grateful that you went to court and did the right thing for him; kids are NOT LIKE ADULTS - kids do not realize and understand the sacrifices you make for them, and they are not necessarily grateful to you for making them. If you are looking for this child to be grateful to you for trying to provide him with stability and love and a healthy home, FORGET IT!! Instead, he will feel torn, and homesick, and very very angry - angry at everybody. They do not process things like adults do, so don't expect him to.

    YOUR BATTLES ARE JUST BEGINNING - GET READY FOR THAT.

    Don't be surprised when you get custody of this kid if the kid starts really acting-out and misbehaving and showing a lot of inappropriate emotions and behavior.

    Just because you win the battle doesn't mean you'll win the war.

    The war may continue for years and years as that ex-wife is going to try to get even with you and her ex for getting that kid. She will, every chance she gets, try to disrupt things. She will noit stop at causing problems for you two adults - she is selfish and probably very emotionally unstable herself, so she will stop at nothing to try to undermine you and get to you, and if she has to use that kid to do it, she will.

    I hope your marriage to this man is a strong one. It's going to take everything you've got to pull this off, and most don't make it.

    I'm not against what you are trying to do or anything like that and I do wish you the very best, but just be aware that when you get the judge's decision in your favor, the hard part is just beginning. The trauma to this child is very great and his mother is very, VERY unstable.

    Get a good attorney for now, and a good child psychologist for later. Best of luck to you and God bless you for trying to make a difference in a child's life!

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  • 1 decade ago

    You will need to have a very good attorney and a private investigator to prove that the woman is an unfit mother.

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