So, are you the team to beat?
No, actually we're gonna fall apart around mid-April, completely out of contention. Quite honestly, we have no chance, so we might as well forfeit now. Our pitchers' arms are held together with duct tape, and we can only hit a ball if it's put on a tee for us. I don't even know why fans come to see us; I guess it's like the people who watch NASCAR for the crashes. Just stay home, folks. Trust me.
What are they supposed to say?
Personally, I can't stand bad reporter questions. Luckily, many players know what makes a good sound bite, so the reporters don't have to work very hard.