What is the modern etiquette on wedding invitation envelopes?

I have checked many different websites and I am ok on how they address the outer envelope of a wedding invitation: Mr and Mrs. John Smith.

The etiquette these same websites have for the inner envelope is what I am not a fan of. Most would say to put Mr. and Mrs. Smith on the first line and their kids names on the second line. I was wondering if anyone knew a new technique that engaged couples use these days. Is it ok to just state "Family and Guests" on the inner envelope? Or how about "Mr. and Mrs. Smith Family and Guests"? If the couple is unmarried, is it reasonable to address the inner envelope to their first names only, such as "Kyle and Jessica"? If anyone has some tips for me, I would really appreciate it.

Thank you!

8 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    On the inner envelope, it is acceptable to be a bit less formal. If you know the people well, you can certainly use just their first names. "Kyle and Jessica" "Uncle Joe and Aunt Jane", etc.

    "Family and Guests" is too vague, as it doesn't specify which people are allowed to bring guests. That could result in a great many more people at your wedding than you anticipated. You can say:

    Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

    Katie Smith and Guest

    Joe Smith and Guest

    Good luck!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Oh my dear, you do NOT want to say "Family and Guests" unless you're sure that your invitees will understand exactly who is invited -- or your budget will be okay with them bringing friends who you hadn't expected. The purpose of listing all the names of the invited people is to let them know who is invited. It is for their benefit and yours. Sometimes people -- even well-intentioned people -- misunderstand these things and think that they are entitled to more guests than you want them to bring. Unless they know your budget, they might think you're saying "the more the merrier!"

    I would write their kids names on the second line. I don't know why you object to it -- it is clear, friendly, and appropriate. I don't see a problem with with first names only -- even if they're married. In all areas, (inner and outer) however, I would not write "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" because some women take offense at this. I would say "Jane and John Smith" or "Jane Johnson and John Smith" if she kept her name. For the inner envelope, you can leave off last names as you suggested.

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  • 4 years ago

    With technology today, I think as long as it's pretty and clean it's fine. I find stickers a little tacky, but if it's printed directly on the envelope in a nice script it looks just as nice as a calligrapher. If you find a unique font, it may even look nicer. I had my bridesmaids handwrite my invitations, but one of them had terrible handwriting. It looked like bubble writing from the 6th grade. I was mortified, but by then it was too late because it was already done. Also, I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so I swallowed my pride and sent out the invitations. Honestly, I would have rather printed out the envelopes. Oh well, lesson learned. Unless you're from the incredibly wealthy class (like owning a summer home in Monte Carlo and a winter home in Colorado and a jet to get you from place to place), I think there's room for tastefully printed cards in the continuum of appropriate wedding etiquette.

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  • 1 decade ago

    If you are very familiar with the person, then it is okay to use their first names on the inner envelope. We did this with some of our guests.

    I would not recommend ever putting "and family" or "and guests"- this is too vague, people won't know who exactly is invited. You will have a lot of confusion and might end up with a lot more people than you intended to invite.

    Above all, be specific.

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  • mynxr
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    There isn't any modern ettiquette. You put the couples name last name and Mr and Mrs or Dr and Mrs and then the childrens names on the second line. That's the only way to do it. Anything else is consider very informal and almost rude.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I was just going to put everyone's first names on the inner envelope. I think it's a more personal touch.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Unless you are not concerned how many people would attend, I would stay away from the wording: Family and Guests. The reason I say that is that someone I know used that type of wording and many guests came that she did not know.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    we just put like this

    Richard and Barb

    Brian, Chris, Kelly ( their kids names written directly below- if there kids were allowed to bring dates we wrote it like this

    Brian & Guest

    Chris & Guest

    Kellly & Guest

    just using first names is best and it leaves no real space for misunderstandings.

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