Can you CREATE a story, perhaps one with a moral, that includes these? (ONLY creative fun..not my H.W.!!)?

Cruelly handsome

Ugly as sin

Does beauty really matter?

What do you mean by "not half bad" looking?

Watch out what you wish for

NOW..the world will be my oyster!!

We shall see

HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

Update:

WOW....THESE are GREAT!!!!

Bravo to all of you!

4 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    4:27 PM 2/8/2008

    I used to have friend, or at least I thought he was at the time. I never really figured out why he was such a jerk. Maybe it was hereditary, his brothers were even worse. I never did anything to the man to warrant the way he treated

    me so badly. Don't get me wrong, he treated everybody badly, especially his girlfriends, that was the part that really

    bothered me, he went out with some really nice girls and treated every one of them like hell. None of the rest of us even had girlfriends. He asked me once, "How come you don't have a chick?". "Your'e not half bad looking?". I looked at him and asked, "What do you mean by "not half bad" looking?". He just laughed. It was sick and twisted the way he took some kind of perverse pleasure in ripping your self esteem to shreds. I mean this guy was cruelly handsome, beautiful women on either side, and all the while, a soul as ugly as sin. I asked him one time, how he could treat these, beautiful ladies that way, and he turned to me, smirking, and said, "Does beauty really matter?". What a pig.

    The last time I ever saw him, he talked me into going to the beach with him, somehow we ended up at Elkhorn Slough

    down by Moss Landing, and I said, "I thought we were going to the beach ?". He just laughed, and said, "I changed my

    mind, I want to go gather some shellfish". It was out of season, we could have been fined heavily, not to mention, we

    weren't even supposed to be there in the first place. I had considered him the pennance I had to pay to get a little sand

    between my toes, and some salt spray across my face. Now, I'm standing in stinking mud up to my ankles, and it's

    starting to rain. That's Randy for you, always thinking about his friends.

    " Come on Randy, let's go !", I yelled, "I'm getting cold". He ignored me and kept on walking, I couldn't even get in the

    car and wait, he was walking away with the keys, so I followed. By this time it was raining hard, and it was getting sloppy. The tide was coming in fast and the mudflats were nearly covered, there wasn't a clam in site. All of a sudden, he spots something, a bed of oysters, high on the bank. Now, these things are in mud about three feet deep, we're not even wearing boots, let alone, hip waders. No, we're in tennis shoes. He starts down the bank and he's slipping and sliding, all over the place. "Randy, you're not going to be able to get those!", I said. He turned to me, raising his arms to the sky and proclaimed, "Now ... the world will be my oyster!!". "We shall see", I replied. At that very moment, he slipped, sliding down the bank he tried to right himself, and tripping over his own two feet, fell flat on his face in yard deep, oyster muck.

    I laughed and laughed, HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! He's out there struggling in the mud, begging me to to help him out, and I just sat down on the bank and said, "Watch out what you wish for, I guess you've got your shellfish now".

    Way to easy, true story, no lie.

    The question children is, what is the moral of the story ?

    Scott Thomas Branaman

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  • 1 decade ago

    Cruelly handsome, ugly as sin:

    Does beauty really matter, except within?

    That chick has got my hormones cooking.

    What do you mean by "not half bad-looking?"

    Watch out what you wish for--

    Big fish you ain't got, if it's small fry you fish for.

    A claustrophobic nun fled the cloister:

    "NOW.. the world will be my oyster!!

    We shall see..HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA,

    Now that I have set my sweet self free

    From that nunnery back in Arkansas!"

    No "Best Answer" here, I sadly fear:

    This poem, senseless and bore-y,

    Doesn't qualify as a story,

    And, if you say it has no moral,

    I won't quarrel.

    Winning ain't the only thing,

    When all is said and done.

    If I were to throw a party,

    I wouldn't invite Vince Lombardi!

    Who needs that Packer's pep-talk?

    At obsessive winning some folks balk.

    My main goal's to have fun!

    This is the conclusion, I'm done,

    And the hour is getting late,

    And this poem, it sure ain't great,

    But ain't I had some fun?

    Source(s): Crazy brain, nearly insane. Never made a dime, putting nonsense in rhyme-time. Read this nonsense at your peril. Oh, to go back in time to when nonsense's reign was sublime, And turn into Richard Armour or Lewis Carroll!
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  • 1 decade ago

    The cruelly handsome son of the Montalvos set sail from his Medterranean home on the boat he built with his own two hands. He had kissed his parents goodbye and had turned his face towards the sunny horizon thinking, "NOW..the world will be my oyster!! No women chasing me and wanting me to settle down! I am sick of superficial girls who leer at me because of my perfect six pack abs, my tight butt, my chiseled features and my full head of curly hair." He who had physical beauty in spades, often wondered to himself and as he began his adventure, he asked of no one in particular, "After all, does beauty really matter? If I were as ugly as sin, would a woman want me, anyway, for who I am, inside?" And so, he sailed around the world for forty years until he at last came home again. He looked up one after the other of his old girlfriends and old was truly what they were, now. And they were all rich and had lead full lives and all had husbands who were fat and bald, but happy. Finally, he came upon the last woman listed in his old black book. She met him at her gate and muttered, "Rudolpho, you are not half bad a sight for these old eyes!" Taken aback, he queried, "What do you mean by "not half bad" looking?" "Ah well", Silva told him, as she lead him inside her villa, "Forty years does take its toll. I am the only available woman in the city." "I had been hoping that at least one of you would wait," he confessed. "Well, we shall see whether you were worth the wait, she cautioned, as she lead him into her bedroom." After several hours, Silva came out of the room, alone. As she dialed the local coroner's number, she shook her head while thinking, "Watch out what you wish for." "Yes," she spoke into the phone, "I have another one for you. Yes. I'll be here."

    She put the phone down and laughed,"HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! He never was a match for me and even though I got older just as he did, I spent the years developing stamina in my chosen trade. Poor old sea dog, Rudolpho. You'll just be the 200th notch on my bed post."

    Moral: Women don't wait 40 years unless they have a hobby they're good at that keeps them very busy.

    I have no idea what the heck I'm going on about. This will probably not make any sense, tomorrow morning.

    C. :)

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  • 1 decade ago

    In years long past, there was a dragon that lived in an old castle. The castle used to belong to a very vibrant, and large royal family. The family was once the most feared clan in all of the land. No one could attribute as to why they were so evil; some said that is was because of a poor diet, some said it was the mysterious death of their king; no one knew for sure.

    The dragon did not know of this tragic past; but only saw a suitable place for him to rest his weary wings from years of fleeing from hunters. As far as dragons went; he was considered cruelly handsome. His scales were very shiny, his teeth were curved and sharpened to razor-like perfection; and even his tail the longest ever seen.

    The dragon had lived in peace inside the castle for centuries; until one evening an crippled, elderly woman (who was considered "ugly as sin" by the townsfolk) approached the castle looking for a place to hide from the royal guards of a neighboring kingdom that were chasing her.

    The lady fled inside looking for a dark place to hide, but instead found the dragon napping.

    To her amazement; the dragon did not wake. Being the largest thing inside the castle; she reluctantly ran behind the dragon and layed near his curled tail as possible. As soon as she got still; she heard loud clanks outside the castle; "oh no, the guards!!!"

    The guards being of large might and little mind; stormed the castle door and broke it down. The dragon still slept though; unphased by the noise.

    One of the guards shouted out, "old hag, were be ye?!" "Ye art scheduled for death by beheading as ordered by King Jerard!" "Surrender and will shall grant ye a quick death!" No sound came from anywhere.

    Suddenly, the dragon awoke with a thunderous growl, "What are ye naives doing in mine castle?" "I have done nothing to thee. State thy purpose here, NOW!!!!"

    "We are royal guards from the kingdom of Jerard; we seek an elderly woman scheduled for beheadment. She was seen running to this castle." "We only want the woman, we mean ye no harm; but stand in our way and you shall be slain!"

    Out raged and confused, the dragon shouted out, "What fools ye both be!" "How dare ye bark in me with such incollence!"

    "Wait!!!!!!!", came a cry.

    "This dragon is not to blame, please spare him!!" "I shall go back with thee.....", exclaimed the woman.

    Surprised by this; the dragon stared down the woman with harsh eyes for intruding his castle. As he stared; the woman's eyes fill with tears. With this; the dragon's eyes and heart softened a little and asked, "What makes you weep woman?"

    "These guards have been ordered to execute me for a heinous crime I have commited; but not of mine own choosing."

    "What crime is that?", asked the dragon.

    "My only crime is being myself; a battered, frail, crippled, ugly old woman." The woman then began sobbing and fell to her knees near the dragon.

    "Is what she says the truth guard?"

    "Aye, it is." "The king's law states that all elderly folk that are unable to perfom acts of labor are to be killed." "All things aside though, we just want to kill her because she is ugly as sin itself!" "Our people have nothing but the fairest of both men and women; she is not, and we must be rid of her!!"

    "Gentlemen, does beauty really matter?" "If you will, listen to my question I proposed to you." "This woman is indeed old; but is she still not useful? still not alive? and still not beautiful?"

    "How can she be beautiful!!??" "She's covered in wrinkles like a dried piece of meat!" "Dragon, you speak of nonsense and are wasting our time; and tested our patience!"

    "Hmmmph. I can see you two are as ignorant as you are stupid." "She may not have the outward appearance of her youth; but her insides speak volumes above that."

    "Bah! I grow weary of your babbling dragon; prepare to feel the edge of mine sword and meet Satan himself, beast!!"

    "We shall see insect!!!" snorted the dragon.

    In one quick breath; the dragon inhaled and a great blaze of fire came from his mouth and did completely incinerate the soldier into a pile of ashes and metal shavings.

    "You should have been more careful as to what you wished for knight. Ha-ha-ha!!" "So what say ye other knight? Do you plan to attack me as well?"

    "No, fair dragon. I am not as ignorant as my fellow knight was."

    "Speak then of your intentions." commanded the dragon.

    "I am in actuality an elderly man."

    "What!!!????" asked the dragon.

    "Indeed, I have fooled the knights for many decades into thinking that I am vibrant and as youthful as they." "The secret to my success lies in my use of exercise. The other knights do not exercise, they only feast upon hoards of meat, and drink barrels of grod. Swine!"

    "I see", said the dragon; "but why must you chase this woman then?"

    "I am bound by my duty as a knight; irregarless of the situation" spoke the knight.

    "Hmmm. You have two choices knight; flee from my castle never to return, or face the same fate as your commrade. What be your choice knight?"

    "Wait, please dragon!! This knight, I know him! Please stop!!!!!"

    "Why?" asked the dragon.

    "He is mine husband."

    Astonished by this; the dragon quickly turned and snarled deeply at the knight. "Why doth thou chaseth thine own wife, only with the intent to slay her?!!"

    "I am a knight, I know no other trades. My duty has been spoken to me by King Jarard. I have no choice."

    "Is your decision final then, knight?" asked the dragon.

    "Aye, have at ye naive!!!!"

    "Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!"

    This was the sound made by the elderly woman; for she had been incinerated by the dragon's flame. Although this wasn't the dragons intent, it was the woman's; for she pushed her husband aside and lept into the fiery blaze herself.

    "No, Esmeralda!!!!!!" exclaimed the knight.

    Hanging his head in dismay over his wife's tragic end; the knight sat motionless near his wife's remains.

    "Knight; you art a foul creature. Your wife sacrificed herself, only to protect a hormonger like you; such a waste."

    "I did love my wife, but I am a knight; and must show no mercy to anyone, including my wife, when the king summons me to act."

    Showing no empathy for the knight, the dragon bowed it's head, and flew up into the air.

    "My dearest wife, Esmeralda; I have lost you to mine own foolish actions. I now regret the day joining the ranks of his highness King Jarard. If I had known this would be your fate; I would have acted differently."

    Carrying his wife's remains to an alchemist (also an old friend) he decided to have the alchemist use his magic to seal his wife's ashes into a pearl; so he could then swallow it and have his wife always by his side.

    After much persuasion; the alchemist did as he was asked.

    He produced one of the most beutiful pearls known to man. After giving his thanks; the knight swallowed the pearl. Soon he felt his heart filling up with the love that he and his wife once shared. Strenghth renewed; he came to the conclusion that the king should be slain.

    Before leaving the alchemist told the knight that the pearl has a high price for using its power: his life. The pearl used was that of a black magic sorcerer; and only worked with the use of a person's life force. "You only have one day left to live knight. After the sun sets on morrow's eve; ye shall perish."

    "So be it....."

    Saying his goodbyes to an old friend; the knight stormed to the castle.

    Upon reaching the throne, the knight bowed and made this report: "Sire, I regret to inform you that I lost my fellow partner; but did succeed in slaying the witch."

    "Excellent, Sir Drake!!" "You shall be rewarded with gold and women beyond ye's most desires."

    "Sire, I am humbled by your generosity; but must decline; for you see; I have an oyster; who was once my whole world; know deep in mine gut. The very one whom ye ordered me to slay. Die now ye biggot!!!!!!!!!!"

    Leaping up the steps of the throne; King Jarard was thus slain by Sir Drake; only to be slain by his once fellow knights directly afterwards.

    In his final words, the knight uttered: "Thank ye, m-mighty dragon; for opening mine eyes to the wisdom I once knew."

    After the death of the King; the kingdom fell to ashes thereafter; for he had no son to take his place.

    The kindom now dispelled of evil; fell into a deserted villa of empty homes, and very empty castle.

    It has been said that a dragon resides there from time to time.

    THE END

    Source(s): self
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