4 yr old & his 2 imaginary friends? How much do I encourage it? My ex buys the "friends" gifts. I disagree

My son has 2 friends that appear often & he talks about them & things he does with them. I ask about them & what they did but I do not go in to exaderated detail. My ex buys gifts from them for my son and sends them party invites. He makes a HUGE(almost like a joke) deal out of them & I do not think that is the right thing. My son is at home with his mom as daycare when I do not have off so he really does not have other little friends to play with daily. They are discouraging preschool because " my daughter did not go & she turned out fine". They are different personalities & I think my son needs the social interaction. Am I wrong & maybe letting my ex know that his exuberance with it is a little too excessive? Other than him being upset with me for saying anything, I just do not want my son to rely too much on his "friends".

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  • 1 decade ago
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    kids have creative imaginations, and that is completely normal and healthy...i wouldnt go as far as buying the "friends" gifts though. play along with your son. ask him how his friends are and pretend like you can see them.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I totally agree with you. Kids grow out of this phase. So, its fine to ask about his "friends" and what not. But, what you don't want to do is distort his sense of reality. Buying gifts for the friends could be doing just that and, if dad really is doing that as if it is all a big joke, then that's worse. That is just hurtful - even if your son doesn't get it. If your son doesn't get to interact with other kids then his imaginary friends may be his way of letting you all know that he NEEDS friends (he'll get them one way or another). I didn't go to preschool and I became a doctor, so no, not all kids need to go. But my little sister went. She loved it and still has fond memories. My mother felt she needed more than I did. You are right - being fair to each child is being attuned to each of their needs, not necessarily treating them exactly equal. Maybe at least you and or grandma could set up playdates. Good luck with this.

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  • 1 decade ago

    It's quite natural for kids to have imaginary friends. And yes, uit could also be that he uses his friends abit more due to the fact he has no other friends around to actually play with.

    he is your son, so it is your choice whether to have him in a preschool, even for part time.

    I honestly do not see anything wrong with his dad doing what he is doing. And his son gets to benefit from it all. This imaginary friend will not last forever. But the memories of how fun and cool his dad was with it will..no harm done.

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  • 1 decade ago

    You may not like the fact that your son has imaginary friends but right now they are his friends. Even if you get him in to a daycare that doesn't mean his imaginary friends are going to go away. They are his friends and he will continue to play with him as long as they want to play with him. You never know he could actually be playing with someone who is not his imagination. Let him do it. Ask questions about them. Ask what they look like. Let your son know you are interested. He will either tell you or hide it. Either way let him play with them. There is no harm in it.

    My daughter has two friends as well One of them is Guy and the other is Kellia. I play with her and her friends its cute how excited she is when we all play. Even though I can't see them she can so I go along with it.

    I hope this helps.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I don't think that you need to encourage but definitely do not discourage them. He is just imagining them. Kids know that they are not real, its just fun! I would ask how they are, you can set a place for them at dinner if he asks. I don't think you need to buy gifts but I think your ex sending invitations is rather cute!

    He will grow out of them eventually but I dont think its doing any harm.

    Pre-school is a great idea though. Maybe you could sign him up for just a couple days a week. That is what my niece does and she loves it!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Your son's imaginary friends are a really good thing. It's very healthy for him. It means he's using his imagination and that should be encouraged.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    i understand your concern,but let him be imaginative, just play along with him and "talk to his friends with him. that way you know how and where he gets his imagination from . ask him where his friends are from.

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  • Anonymous
    6 years ago
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