Figure out how much you owe each year, and fill out a new W-4 indicating that they take additional money out of each paycheck so that they annual total is about what you've been paying.
You two can decide how much to take from each wage earner. If you owe $2,000 each year, and you make 30% of the income and your husband makes 70%, then he should have them withhold an additional $1,400 each year from his pay and you have them do an additional $700 from your pay. Divide the total by how many paychecks you get in a year and they'll take that much extra out of each.
At the end of the year, you should pretty much break even.
When you file as "married, filing jointly" you can't say that JUST MY HUSBANDS taxes give us a refund. It doesn't work that way. You are probably being paid much less than him and being taxed in a lower tax bracket.
This happens with my wife and I every year. We both contribute to the total income, and that's what's taxed on. There is actually a form on the back of the W-4 which will tell you to fill out a bunch of income numbers for you and him and each other's withholding and it will suggest the additional amount you need to take out. It doesn't need to all come from YOUR paycheck (although it could). He needs to understand that.
If he can't understand it, just tell him you'll quit working and he can foot all the bills, give you some spending money, and get the tax refund.
It ain't easy to understand.