Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 decade ago

What is it like for an Army Wife?

I am currently in a relationship with an SGT in the US Army. He and I have talked about getting married and its with someone that I am deeply in love with and believe that I belong with this person. He had been married once, and engaged twice only because that when it became time for him to deploy, he had problems with each of them being faithful. He says that he wants for us to get married, but he wants to make sure that I am prepared and ready to handle the life of being a military spouse. I myself am a very optimistic person, I mean I was just diagnosed with cancer back in July (I am free and clear as of now), but I always looked at it as a new lesson in life, and a way to look past problems and hardships. That's why I think I would be cut out for this responsibility. Any and all advice is much appreciated, please tell me what I should do.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    First off..all the people on here saying that they dont work and that when thier husband leaves the women all cheat..not true...it does happen but it happs in everyday life as well....

    Being a military spouse is a job in itself and a huge change in life...but you make great friends and there are so many people where you will be that are going to be going thru the same thing as you.....military wives have a special bond that no outsider could/would understand...

    First off know that ur husband will be gone for long periods of time and during that time its ur job to ensure that he knows you are always thinking of him and you miss him everyday.. send him packages often, each of you before he leaves get a blank notebook and write in it everyday to each other so when he returns you have endless hours of reading about each others days while they were gone, ..... this kind stuff...be creative!!

    Second, know that you WILL move often.....part of being a military spouse is moving where his next cal of duty will be...this can/may include overseas....so be prepared!! Its not easy to be away from family and friends but also again know that there will be many other wives out there going thru the same thing and so its easy to make friends and have a support system!

    My husband and i were both military and i got out and he was in longer...i did the stuff mentioned above and we have a happy heathy marriage....he is now out of the service and we are expecting our first child in June....

    O almost forgot...if and when yu decide to have children know that it will be important to keep him "present" in ur childs life while he is gone...with pictures and mayve before he leaves vifeo him reading several stories or just talking to the child so you have that for the child to see while he is gone so he is not a stranger upon his return!!

    Hope this helps! e-mail me anytime if you want!

    Source(s): Personnal experience!
  • Jackie
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    I am engaged to a military man and I do admit that it is very hard to be seperated for those extended periods and then on top of it only be able to talk for a few minutes each week if your lucky....I am not going to lie to you and say that it is something that gets easier each time because to be honest, I think it gets harder each time. In any of my past relationships, I don't think the relationship would have been able to handle the distance and in the end-it would have drove us apart, but with my fiance, it seems to somehow just bring us closer. It helps that I am a pretty independant person to start with, so when he is gone, my life doesn't stop and my world doesn't crash around me.....When he is gone I have other things I can concentrate on-such as work, schooling, friends, and family. And yes-unfortunately a lot of relationships can't handle the distance.....cheating is common on both sides-the person deployed and the person at home. Heck, my brother's ex-wife cheated on him while he was deployed to Iraq. He came home injured and she left him 2 days after getting home while he was still in the hospital bed.

    If he is someone you truly love and he makes you happy-Then marry the guy. Whether he is an army man or not, the marriage will have its own trials and tribulations, but it will also have the joys and love that comes with it.

  • Ray D
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    First off congratulations on beating cancer!! I spent over 20 years in the Army and it's very hard on a family when you deploy. My first wife did the same thing to me after 17 years of marriage when I deployed. There are great support groups with each unit that deploys so that the family left behind can stay active and help one another. If you really love him and you too communicate well through out the deployment you should make it fine. Being a military wife can be a wonderful thing but it's hard work. Good luck and god bless you and Sgt.

  • 1 decade ago

    I hate to be a downer with the last person, but I was a military spouse and my wife deployed overseas. The FRG (Family Readiness Groups) for my state were an absolute joke and seemed to be there more for show. They had their parties and get togethers, but when things get difficult they are nowhere to be found. They rarely answered any difficult questions. My wife decided to keep BAH money and was then found to be cheating with a couple of these womens' husbands while on deployment, but they seemed to be blissfully ignorant or uncaring. My wife's commanders have done absolutely nothing after finding out about this and have even sent her to advanced training.

    My experience was negative, but for an organization that purports itself to be family friendly and values oriented, I have found the military to be anything but. I know there are some great people out there with integrity and morals, but I found very few people willing to take a stand and do the right thing. Hopefully it is different in your state. I would be prepared to go into it alone and God willing, you guys will be just fine.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It can be very hard being a army wife. You have to learn to be very independent, be very supportive of your husband, and you may move often. I have been a army wife for 20 months, my husband has been gone for 17 months and he still has another month away. It is hard because we have two small children. But we also have a good support system.

    As I was once told the life of a arm wife is a life of waiting.

    Also to some of the answer before me not every army wife cheats. Like I said in the past 20 months I have got maybe two months with my husband and I have been loyal to him.

  • Sean C
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    I'm not an Army wife, but I had one. (I say "had" in past tense because I am no longer in the Army, but married to the wife who "was" an Army wife)

    You need to be completely in love with this person. There should be no boubt. You need to be encouraging, fearless, and very supportive.

    I went through a deployment. My wife, was very faithful and although scared crapless for me, she never let it show when I telked to her. We kept in constant contact. I fully trusted her. It's not easy but you need to keep in mind that it is only temporary. A year may seem like a long time at first, but you need to make it go quick by keeping busy and keeping your mind occupied, but still keeping him in your heat and on your mind that you lvoe and respect this guy.

    Don't think of the Army life as something completely different than civilian life. Durring peace time, it's just like any other job with bussiness trips for a week or a month. Durring wartime (like now) it's a bit more stressful, but you can get by it by being faithful and supportive.

  • 1 decade ago

    honestly, everyone i have ever known to be in a military relationship, it ended badly. about 90% of the time someone cheated and the other 10% couldn't handle the life. it's up to you though.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    They fool around when their husband is on deployment, just from my experience

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