Great mothers/daughters/sisters why become so bad when they become mother in law?

It is shocking to see them change in this role. I have seen my own mother changing.

Suddenly they change and only with their daughter in law they are like that. Finding fault all the time. Trying to ruin the relaship of the couples. Never digest the could being happy.

Make every possible hurdle to stop their entertainment and enjoyment.

It is a serious issue, but always neglected by many.

I want females to answer this. Don't defent or justify this act. It is true and it happens.

Atleast knowing that it has become a serious, tell me females will you change and not be like the tyical mother in laws.

Update:

Everyone is trying to one way or the other protect the mother in law, instead of addressing the issue.

Why we always shy away from truth. Please talk about the bad bad mother in laws. They are not few.... there are many

27 Answers

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  • $@LLu
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    de@r gEntLe m@n,

    I agree with you and I will not even feel shy to talk or discuss about on this question, as this is really a very true and serious matter.

    I really sometimes myself don't understand such a change of women. While they were young, they used to be entirely a different personality, but as soon as they grew up or as soon as the mothers get a new relationship or tag of this so called MOTHER-IN-LAW, they change.

    What I think is that they adapt such a bad,wicked and evil character because they cant imagine their sons getting much more closer to their wives. They start fearing that one day her son will start taking his wife's side and will always stand agains the mother.

    I think they even fear neglegence. Mothers might fear that they might get neglected in old-age as their sons might get into the talks of their wife and will leave them alone in their old-age.

    So they adopt such a bad character. Always abusing their daughter-in-law, cursing them, saying bad words to them and some even beating and harassing them.

    This is really a very serious matter and offence. And I think people should really look forward into such cases and try to go into the depth of this mother-in-law and daughter-in-law issue and try to solve it FOREVER.

    But nowadays, what I feel is, as generation is advancing and as world is becoming much more modernized and advanced, people are also getting much more practical. Nowadays people dont have that much of tendency in interfering in other;s life. Especially women is now not giving that much of importance to the poking business which females generally have in their sons matter.

    Even mothers are getting much more practical. Before every mother would want to live with their sons. I mean like a joint family. But now I find and see many cases where mothers themselves separate their sons, so as to avoid future tensions and fights.

    I think mordernization really play a very important role. As people are really changing with time. And those mothers who are still projecting themselves to be evil, should need a treatment. For such ladies awareness programmes should be done/held so that they can understand today's world and go accordingly to it.

    And honestly speaking I too dont have any such wicked or bad plans for my daughter-in-law. I will try to and I am sure that I will become a good mother-in-law so that my future generations would always remember me as a good and kind hearted soul and not a wicked personality, especially my daughter-in-law...that's it.... :) ...tc... sweet dreamz.....bye....

    *****EveRy bOy !z mY brOthEr, eXCePT thE OnLy onE fOr mE....*****.

    Source(s): And mother-in-laws now should bear 1 thing that even their daughter-in-laws are not less. They have got much more dangerous and brilliant plans as compared to their mother-in-laws...lolz.......tc....
  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    Wow.. I thought my mother in-law was a ***** when I was pregnant... My mother in law wanted to control my every move while I was pregnant.. She even showed up at my doctors unannounced and asked my doctor questions as if she was my power of attorney or something.. It was funny though because he wouldn't tell her nothing.. So, we stopped talking to her for 4 years, and just recently started talking to her again and everything is great between us.. So, my question to you is how does your husband feel about this? Does he know that she is treating you like this? You too need to come to an understanding that she can't treat you like this.. There needs to be a meeting where you are both with your mother in law and inform her that she can't treat you like this, and you both need to be on the same page... So there is no body saying, well I don't know about this.. Next, are you having a girl? Does she have a daughter? Because if the first answer is yes and the second no, then she is jealous... That's what was wrong with my mother in law.. She had two boys and my first child was a girl.. She tried to take my daughter and raise her as if she was hers... So that could be the problem with her.. But enough is enough.. You don't need the stress... So, please have a meeting and have your husband help you to take care of this problem.. If you don't it will only get worse... Take care and Good luck!

  • It is the bond between mothers and sons. They (mothers) are the ones that have taken care of them their entire lives and have a problem sharing their sons with another woman. Some mothers can adapt and accept the new daughter in law as her very own while other mothers are real MOTHERS! when it comes trying to make a relationship work. They but in and meddle and make life hard for both the son and his wife. Sorry, I could go on and on about this. But it all comes down to the bond they share.

  • 1 decade ago

    All I will say is that my mother-in-law has paid dearly for the way she has treated me. She used to think it was funny, and she encouraged other family members to treat me badly as well. The end result is my husband goes over there a few times a year, I go over there even less, and we don't spend holidays with them at all. She has made some efforts to fix the situation over the last year, and we have responded kindly, but we will always have a superficial relationship. You really can go too far and you really can damage families beyond repair, and she managed to do it. It's extremely unfortunate, but she has no one to blame except herself.

    I don't have children, so I will never be a mother-in-law.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Been a mother-in-law twice now, but towards my girls husbands....I've always respected that these men are whom they chose for their partners, they are in charge of their relationship, they married their husbands, I didn't, so I really don't have the right to butt into their business.

    Been the daughter-in-law on the receiving end of what you are talking about though, and think what that is all about is a mother worried that she is being replaced as the "woman" in her sons life, that someone else is now taking care of him, cooking, cleaning, all the things that "mom" did when he was younger. And the actions caused from that are done more out of fear, lack of control, insecurity etc. It's not pleasant to deal with though....far from it, and makes it really difficult on everyone....mostly her own son!

    It is my greatest hope that when my sons marry, I will constantly remember that ALL of those things I've experienced....that all my kids love me, I'll always be 'mom' and just let them go....

  • 1 decade ago

    oh yesss.....i think i wud be able to give u better views frm personal experience when i first become a daughter-in-law and then when i become a mother-in-law i'll give u views frm the other side !!!

    well...on a lil serious note...its the wish to have the power to control the decisions of the house and a sense of possessiveness for the son which makes wonderful ladies turn into cruel mother-in-laws....what they should remember is that at some times they were also daughter-in-laws !! (kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi !!!- hope u understand hindi gentleman ?)

  • kim h
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    My mother in law sucks. I loved her until I had kids. She is mean and spiteful. We built a house because my father gave us land. It was cheaper than buying. Do you know she told everyone that I was a snob and that I thought that I was too good for a used house? I have told my husband that if I act like that when our kids marry to punch me upside the head. Luckily he sees all that she does and he tells her about it right away. I actually told her on Christmas when they were talking about needing to be taken care of later by us that she did not want to be left alone with me. She thought that I was joking. I wasn't. Her favorite son married a town ***** and left her kids to be raised by someone else and she thinks that she is great. She will always stick up for her and go running when she wants something. Hopefully you are not tolerating this treatment of your wife by your mother.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Namskara,

    Thuma santhosa aaythu neewu kooda bengalurinavaru antha tilidu. Nanu kooda huttidu, beladidu, odidu ella ille. Nemma prashnegalu thumba manamuttuthave. Devaru nemage olleyadannu madali.

    Yes today I am mother of a son and also experienced some of the odd treatments from my mother-in-law. But she has realised her mistake and now treat me good. I am thankful to God. My one intention in life is I should never treat my future daughter-in-law like my mother-in-law treated me. I don't have daughter and I am expecting my future daughter-in-law to be my daughter.

  • 1 decade ago

    Yes, it happens. The only reason I can think of is that sometimes a mom has trouble letting her son go to another woman and she competes for his affections and she undermines his wife.

    I made a decision that I will not interfere in my daughters' marriages and that I will consider my son-in-laws as my own sons. The ONLY reason I would ever change this position is if my son began to abuse my daughter or their children. Then all bets are off!!!!!!!!!

  • 1 decade ago

    No way i dont agree to it

    My mother is not soo she is very much good with her daughter-in-law

    And even my bhabhi also says the same that my mother is really nice to her more than her real mother

    well as i have seen in movies it happens and yes my mother-in-law was also so

    but she is not now alive so would not like to say bad about her

    But the main thing is understanding which shoudl be from both the sides

    well touch wood its really good understadning in my mother and bhabhi

    God bless them

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