Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureReligion & Spirituality · 1 decade ago

Have I finally received my personal revelation!?!?!?

I just got this email:

You are Jesus's newest Contact! If you don't know Jesus, Jesus is probably a fan of your questions and answers and wants to link to you so he/she can find them again. There is no obligation for you to reciprocate, unless you want to. :)

So, now I know Jesus DOES love me, and if I want to, He is personally inviting me into a relationship with him! At last, the confusion is gone, for I have had a WORD FROM THE LORD!

; )

((Jesus))

Update:

Who's Hank, and what would the results of kissing said posterior be? (I always do a cost-benefit analysis before making decisions.)

Update 2:

Jesus is beyond such tawdry human emotions as "embarrassment", I'm sure. He's freakin' Jesus! But if not...I'm pretty sure he'll forgive me.

Update 3:

Thanx, neilsmyhero. Hilarious!

19 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    For to feel shame would necessitate an inherent vanity, which I simply do not possess. I am free of sin, and openly declare my pure intentions for saving Sophie's soul!

    Might I have the honor of baptizing you, M'dear?

    I hear those white robes are practically transparent once wet.

    How about a foot rub?

    Source(s): Ain't nobody can say I'm not hung!
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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!

    I don't get why all the chicks are so into him

    The dude wandered through the desert for like 6 weeks

    Without showering! In the same grungy old robe!

    I mean come on girlies.

    I just came into some silver

    How bout spending some time with Judas

    You can trust me....

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  • 1 decade ago

    Wotcher!

    Re: COST / BENEFIT ANALYSIS [wish I could BOLD!]

    Wonderful correlation here with a question I asked the other day - or was it week -

    "Gone quiet over here - anyone heard any good jokes lately ..."

    "Would you sleep with me for £ 5,000 cash?"

    "Well, I might, if I really liked you of course!"

    "Would you sleep with me for £ 5 then?"

    "What kind of a girl do you take me for?" [resounding slap on the face - italics would be handy too!]

    "Ouch! We've established that already - now we're just haggling over the price!"

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I'm always happy to enlighten anyone who hasn't heard the Good News about Hank.

    http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/hank

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    But weren't you screaming oh god last night ? Wouldn't that be a much more personal revelation than a mere email ?

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  • 1 decade ago

    Gratulation!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Jesus has a account on Yahoo? He's my homes.

    yous pretty, like my ole lady!

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  • 1 decade ago

    rebel meet him at a public location before you end up on a milk carton

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  • Blue
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    You do realize that you've hugely embarrassed the Y!A user that goes by the name of Jesus?!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Jesus loves us all. Yes.

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