Stationery etiquette -- Mrs. Jane Doe or Mrs. John Doe?

I got married four months ago, and wanted to order stationery with my married name on it. If my name was "Jane Smith" and I married "John Doe," is it more appropriate etiquette to have the stationery read "Mrs. Jane Doe" or "Mrs. John Doe"? I know that years ago, you would absolutely say you were "Mrs." whatever your husband's name was, but wasn't sure if nowadays, it was more chic to use your own first name.

Which is considered better etiquette?

9 Answers

  • Favorite Answer

    When a woman uses her first name as in "Mrs. Jane Doe" it states she is divorced.

    If this stationary is for informal use, i.e., handwritten, personal notes that you would sign using your first name. Drop the Mrs. and use stationary that says "Jane Doe."

    It is never incorrect to use "Mrs. John Doe" but as noted, some women feel they lose to much of their identity.

    Personally, I love being "Mrs. John Doe", with today's problems and difficulties, I'm down right proud of the fact that I've been able to stay married! (This time around. :) )

    Source(s): Graduate of Miss Manner's school of the Extremely Correct! :)
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Extremely formal etiquette would be Mrs. John Doe. However, for anything less than formal, I would go with Mrs. Jane Doe.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Mrs Jane Doe.

  • Best etiquette: Mrs. John Doe

    However, if you used Mrs. Jane Doe, no one will look badly upon it.

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  • 1 decade ago

    It's your choice and both are okay. However, I feel that Mr. and Mrs. John Doe is very traditional. I prefer Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe. I think that's more modern and certainly more equal. I kind of take offense when only the husband's name is there. Seems so chauvinistic.

  • Mirage
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    It is personal choice.

    I find using Mrs. John Doe to be antiquated - as if the woman was so wrapped up in getting married that she forgot her own identity. I took my husband's last name - but use my own first name on my stationery.

    Whatever you decide - have fun picking out your stationery!

  • Panda
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    either one works and is proper etiquette. "Mrs. John Doe" is too old fashioned for me. Its like saying a woman has no identity but her husbands. I'd suggest using your name

  • 1 decade ago

    I prefer to use my own first name. I am still Wendy even though I'm married. So that's how I do it. I think it's up to you.

  • 1 decade ago

    JM couldn't have said it better. I agree, use your name.

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