Anonymous asked in HealthDiseases & ConditionsSTDs · 1 decade ago

Herpes from oral sex?

My doctor told me that I have herpes. The first question he asked me was, "Do you let your boyfriend kiss you down there when you are making love?" I told him, "Yes." Then he said, "That's all I wanted to know." I told my boyfriend what the doctor said and he asked me how come when he has been tested for stds before he never tested positive for herpes. He also told me that he gets cold sores twice a year. I called the doctor again and he was very agitated and said, "I told you that you got it from letting your boyfriend kiss you down there...what do you want me to do tell you that you have nothing?" I was so hurt and embarassed. But, I'm still full of questions. Why is the dr. so sure that I contracted it from oral sex and why hasn't my boyfriend never tested positive for herpes, although he gets the cold sores twice a year? My boyfriend is going to get re-tested next week.

14 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    They don't test for genital herpes as part of a standard std screen, probably for the following reasons:

    -The test is relatively expensive, and herpes in medical terms is pretty harmless, although it helps to know if a woman is having a baby.

    -Herpes is so common - 80% of people have oral herpes, and 25% genital herpes - among some populations 50%. Most people have symptomless infections and a herpes diagnosis can be life-changing because of the disproportionate stigma it carries, so in many ways it is better for people not to know.

    -Thirdly, they cannot tell where on your body your infection is. Herpes is an opportunistic virus - hsv-2 is the classic genital herpes virus and hsv-1 causes the vast majority of cold sores on the mouth, but over half genital herpes viruses are now caused by hsv-1, and some cold sores are caused by hsv-2. They would be telling people something potentially devastating, but people don't actually know where their infection is - genital, oral... so in many ways it is better not to test people.

    It is extremely unlikely that you boyfriend was tested for been tested for herpes when he has been screened.

    If he HAD had a herpes blood test, it would only have shown that he has hsv-1, the oral herpes virus - cold sores - and 8 out of 10 people have that so I presume a lot of doctors don't think it is worth alarming someone - it is more commonly a mouth infection than a genital one.

    The doctor is probably so sure because you have tested positive for hsv-1. The normal route to catching genital hsv-1 is through receiving oral sex from a partner who gets occasional cold sores.

    People are unaware they can easily catch herpes through oral sex - over half of new genital herpes cases in women are now caused by the cold sore virus hsv-1 which has been transferred to the genitals this way.

    People also either don't realise that cold sores and genital herpes are the same just in different locations or think that you cannot pass on the cold sore virus when you don't have one, which is untrue.

    I caught genital hsv-1 from a boyfriend who got cold sores - and he never gave me oral sex when he had a cold sore. He hadn't had one in 6 months, but hsv-1 is still infectious on the mouth about 10% of the time when no cold sore is present.

    My sister also has genital hsv-1, caught from receiving oral sex from a partner who got cold sores. Neither of us caught cold sores as children like the majority of people do.

    If you are one of the 8 out of 10 people who get cold sores on their mouths, you are very unlikely to contract hsv-1, the oral herpes virus, genitally through oral sex - having cold sores gives you a very high level of immunity to getting the virus genitally.

    Unfortunately if, like me and my sister and probably you, you have never had cold sores, it is likely that nearly every partner you have will and if you practice oral sex you are at a high risk of contracting genital herpes.

    Your boyfriend gets cold sores - cold sores are outbreaks of oral herpes. He obviously has oral herpes, so it would be absolutely pointless for him to get tested again next week.

    If you have developed genital hsv-1, and your boyfriend has given you oral sex and has a history of cold sores - oral hsv-1 - then for the doctor it all adds up fair and square - it is obvious to him how you got infected. The first thing I was asked when I tested positive by swab for hsv-1 was if my boyfriend had cold sores. The doctors see it so often you wouldn't believe it. It happens laughably often.

    I understand your frustration with the doctor, I felt like they were unsympathetic when I caught genital hsv-1 because it was a huge big deal for me and a life-changer, but the simple fact is that for your doctor it is not a big deal - all you have is a case of cold sores down below, and hence just something harmless and incredibly common.

    As far as your boyfriend goes, he shouldn't be scared of going near you when you don't have symptoms - he already has the same virus. Avoid sex when you have an outbreak, but other than that you should be fine. My boyfriend gets cold sores, and we don't use protection at all - we both have the same virus.

    Here is the advice of the Herpes Viruses Association on the subject:

    "If you and your partner have the same virus you will not reinfect each other - even on a different part of the body. So, if you have caught it genitally from your partner’s facial cold sores, he or she will not catch the virus back on the genitals."

    Good luck, it really isn't the end of the world- hsv-1 is usually a very mild genital infection - most people only get an outbreak once every two years. And it is less infectious than your partner's cold sores.

  • 4 years ago


    Source(s): I Cured My Herpes :
  • 3 years ago


    Source(s): Get Rid Of Herpes -
  • Anonymous
    3 years ago


    Source(s): BREAKTHROUGH in Herpes Research
  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Terri
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Only when there is a specific attack of herpes. But the two would go together like a fish riding a bicycle. Can't imagin anyone would want to have oral when there is a full blown genitial attack. Best to wear a condom if it is a man or take medication to stop inflammation and attacks occuring

  • 4 years ago

    I am absolutely terrified and I feel so alone. I just found out last week that I tested positive for hsv1 and 2. I have been with the same man for the past 10 years and within the last year found out that he has cheated on me with numerous women. I am so scared that I can give it to my children by kissing them and them eating with me...I feel like my whole life has changed. And even though the nurses, my doctor, and websites say that a lot of people have it I still feel like I am by myself. My self esteem has dropped and I feel like I have been used up. But now, My life is very happy.

    Fast Acting Guaranteed Herpes Treatment?

  • 1 decade ago

    Your doctor probably should have explained herpes to you a bit better, however cold sores are a form of herpes.

  • Shan
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    there are two main types of herpres. oral (herpes simpex one) and genital (herpes simplex two). they can pass back and forth though. if he had a breakout or was soon going to have a coldsore and you had oral sex, then he can pass that on to u. then for example if you had genital herpes and he performed oral sex, he could get herpes on his mouth. they are both treated with the same medication. either of you could've had the genital herpes for years and never known. the virus can lay dormant and people never know they've contracted it. the most important thing is now u know u have it. be careful and abstain from any sexual activity while you have a breakout. take the medication as prescribed. good luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    well cold sores are considered to be oral herpes, the doctor may not have explained that to you. they can be transfered through oral sex to your genitals. it happened to me with my boyfriend so its possable. your boyfriend may not have even thought that he may have herpes or thought it was only a cold sore.

  • 1 decade ago

    Sorry to hear of your situation. When a person goes in for a normal STD panel, the herpes test is not a standard test in that kit. They say it is bc it is very expensive and many insurance companies wont pay for it. So it is possible that if your boyfriend went in and got tested for the "normal" std's but without a "specific" request of the herpes virus, he was probablly not tested for that.

    As for the virus itself, it IS possible for HSV1 to be spread to the genital area and visa versa. This means if your boyfriend has HSV1(oral infection) and has contact with your genital area you can get infected with HSV1 of the genitals. Did the doctor tell you if you had 1 or 2?

    Just a note... you can only give the type of virus you have, meaning if he has HSV 1, he can only give HSV1. However you are not immune to still getting 2. It does lower your chances of contracting it though.

    There was a lot of info at Check it out too.

    I hope this makes sense. Good luck, and Im sorry again.

    Source(s): Just took a close friend to the doc and she found out the same thing. I asked the doc MANY questions and looked up information for her.
  • 3 years ago

    o my goodness i tink you need to pray to god bc herpes is for froggies not ppl u need to get some preiestes to pread holy watter on you mouf so u can not have warts

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.