How far do you let a 15 year old "have her space"?

I am at odds with my wife on just how much space is healthy for my step-daughter, a 15 year old girl (freshman in high school). I do not feel it is safe with the attitude of 'she's a good girl' and 'she has enough common sense' to keep herself out of trouble. She is a freshman at a new school... show more I am at odds with my wife on just how much space is healthy for my step-daughter, a 15 year old girl (freshman in high school). I do not feel it is safe with the attitude of 'she's a good girl' and 'she has enough common sense' to keep herself out of trouble. She is a freshman at a new school out of the area where she went to middle school and is hanging with kids that seem to be on the 'wrong path'. I know for a fact they are doing pot and drinking though I do not believe my step-daughter is at this point. I also know by my step-daughter's own admission that at least one of them is VERY sexually active. I work at the same high school she goes to and know the kids she hangs with. When I speak to my wife about it she blows it off. I spoke to my family about it and they suggest I stay out of it since she is my 'Step-Daughter' and to let my wife handle it. They also suggest the marriage is more important than trying to be a 'Dad' to her. What do you think?
Update: The issues also extend into the internet world to include MySpace, Facebook and the like. Should she have total ability to block us from what she is doing on there or should we be be able to access her internet usage or at least make her think that by having her password we could at any time be checking on her? I... show more The issues also extend into the internet world to include MySpace, Facebook and the like. Should she have total ability to block us from what she is doing on there or should we be be able to access her internet usage or at least make her think that by having her password we could at any time be checking on her? I understand the 'privacy' issues but I also know of all the problems we have with students and what they do and say on those sites.

I have a hard time just standing by and shutting up when it comes to my opions on raising kids. This is effectively my 5th kid and the 4th girl. It was easier before because we didn't have all the internet issues in the 90's that we do today.
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