請問如何改善”中式英文”以及增進英文作文的”組織架構”能力?

請問如何改善"中式英文"以及增進英文作文的"組織架構"能力??

之前為了要交學校的英文作業,在寫完作文後,我都會先請英文強的朋友幫我修改訂正一下,但他們給我的評語共通點是"中式英文"以及"組織架構"有問題,我實在是不知道何謂中式英文??詞性擺放的位置我應該都有擺對,這樣還會中式英文嗎?還有組織架構的能力我也不知道怎麼改善,英文作文不就是像中文作文一樣有起承轉合嗎??我都有這些步驟呀!所以...這2個問題...已經困擾我好久了...以下我貼2篇我寫的英文作文,學校老師給我的分數都不低(都有80以上),但朋友對我的作文評價卻相當低!為何會這樣兩極化?是學校老師不會改還是改得相當寬鬆?

(1)The Qualities of a Good Wife

What are the qualities that a good wife is supposed to own? There is no denying that having an ideal wife is a husband’s dream. According to ordinary people, a good wife is equipped with the following qualities, such as disposition and ability.

To begin with, a good wife must be considerate and kind. For example, after coming back home, the good wife may help you ease pressure, take care of child well, and become the person who could chat with or let you to complain the unpleasant things coming from office; moreover, when your pets die, she can show her sympathy, but she can never express the carelessness. She will be considered heartless when she puts no care on them. Then, she also must be faithful to her husband. The fact, for instance, that wives betray their husband is extremely shameful. The woman equipping with those disposition is almost about to be a good wife as a consequence.

Aside from the above-mentioned, it is very essential when it comes to the ability. A good wife also must be competent as well. A good illustration is given for the following. Someday when the husband is confronted with trouble on business, a good wife has ability to help her husband to resolve those; even though the good wife cannot deal with all the things completely, she can give her husband some advice. As a result, the woman having this ability is further going to be the good wife.

Last but not the least, when the woman possesses those disposition and ability, she will become the so-called person, a good wife.

Update:

(2)How do you prepare for your final exam?

It is extremely important for almost students to prepare for the final exam because the percentage of the final exam takes a lot in common. As a consequence, no student put no efforts on it, and I am no exception as well.

Update 2:

I am going to prepare for them by the following, and the two main part, “listening and speaking” and “reading and writing”, are paid more attention.

Update 3:

(第2段)In the beginning, the one part is about “listening and speaking”. Because I am not a native speaker, continuous practicing listening and speaking must become the key point of success. How to prepare for the final exam of listening and speaking become a problem for me.

Update 4:

There rarely having much time, preparation must go on quickly and mustn’t take lots of time. As a result, I will begin on listening to English music to familiarize more with the pronunciation and the connection of words. After listening to them for a few times, I will sing with them.

Update 5:

By that way, it can remind my feeling towards listening and speaking again, making me not being afraid and nervous when taking exams. In addition to listening to music, I will then watch the foreign movies for the purpose of paying attention to their accent in conversation.

Update 6:

It is very important to care for that, because I will perhaps present as a robot without cadence in voice when given a conversation.

Update 7:

(第3段)Then continue to the other part. “Reading and writing” also takes my concerning very much. For doing them well, I will initiate reviewing my notes which are related to the skill of writing and method of fast reading. Those notes are very helpful on account of that they are all essence.

Update 8:

Eventually, I will give myself a limited time to review the corrected English composition and diaries that I wrote before.

Update 9:

When reviewing again them, I can both avoid using the wrong grammar or words, and accelerate my reading speed on the final examination. Consequently, completing those processes can heighten my scores.

Update 10:

(最後一段)For most of student, they have no idea about what or how to prepare for the final exam, so they may screw them up. There’s no deny if you grasp the foremost part, you can do them well easily.

Update 11:

On the contrary, you will fail them if you make no efforts or embark on the wrong aspect. To sum up, having right preparation must do me a great favor on examination.

Update 12:

請幫我看看這2篇的優劣以及該改進的地方有哪些??還有我一開始問的問題...請幫忙回答一下!感恩不盡!

7 Answers

Rating
  • s
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    先給你個鼓勵, 其實可以看的出來你的英文是下過苦工的. 而且成績也不錯, 所以會覺得友人的意見有點比較無法下嚥(hard to swallow) - 這是美式中文. 為什麼我會用美式中文? 因為行文至此, that is what comes to my mind. 我也可以改完全中文, 畢竟中文是我的母語. 但那是經過思考所做的更改不是直覺..

    回到主題, 如何改善"中式英文" - 你必須要習慣用英文思考. 我在美國住了20年, 直到十年前才發現自己開始用英文思考. Yes, it takes that long for me. 我認為只有用英文思考才有辦法改善你的用字遣詞. 可以看的出來你的兩篇文章都是先有中文的 idea, 再逐字逐句去"翻譯”. 因為你對每個字的用法了解不夠深. 所以讓讀的人看的出破綻. 我建議改善的方法是多讀. 多讀是會寫得不二法門.看多了自然會學到怎麼用字. 我個人喜歡看短的文章或評論, 建議可以從Newsweek, Time Magazine下手. 以你的程度, 要加強的是怎樣用對字, 所以一般的聊天談話可能對你幫助不大.

    另外可以去找一本同義字字典(Synonym)來, 隨時翻翻. 我覺得同義字字典可以當打發時間的書看. 翻久了會有好處的.

    還有就是你會留意到這些英文文章的寫法. 英文不是起承轉合 比較接近起-承-結論. 寫作本身是一個比較大的議題. 我想一下也講不清, 你了解這裡需要加強就是了.

    另外, 中文裡面有很多連接詞, 諸如,所以, 然而, 因此 而且… 不用話講不清. 英文在用這類字時牽涉到句型的完整及對稱. 用法和中文差很多. 為了要好好表達你的想法, 我建議短期的改善方法是 “多用簡單的字和簡單的句型”.

    你的第一篇文章沒有說服力. 我認為是本身的經驗和說道理的方法. 你可能對這個議題了解不深 所提出的論點沒有組織, 再翻成英文難免讓人讀不出一個中心思想. 不見得是英文的問題.

    學習另一種語言本來就不容易, 怎樣在沒有環境之下創造一個學習和練習是非常不容易的. 有機會出國走走, 也會增加一些樂趣.

    有想要討論你的文章可以傳e-mail給我. It is not a good (discussion) topic for general public. See - here I will not use "ordinary people”.

    Source(s): 經驗
  • 1 decade ago

    作文要寫得好,真的還是要大量閱讀阿

    不論中/英作文都一樣

  • Paco
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    富哥的英文我雙手舉 BOOOO~~~~

  • 1 decade ago

    看來這位同學是MCUDAE的學生唷

    Nancy Du老師的作業不錯吧 呵呵

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  • 1 decade ago

    據我所知 這是我在WEEK15所出的寫作題目

    WEEK17請記得要交 還有不要熬夜及依賴網路

    2008-01-09 00:10:50 補充:

    12點多了 該去睡了唷

    還有目錄記得要寫 心得也要附在資料夾中

    單字要背唷

    Source(s): 網路無遠弗屆
  • Ahoo
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    我們在此意見交流, 而不是爭誰對誰錯的問題, 好嗎?

    這些英文, 讀起來很累, 遣詞用字都不合習慣.

    我本身文法很差, 要問我考試題, 我不會.

    但是我寫的英文完全不靠文法, 而是靠直覺, 如果要我套文法, 我寫不出來. 很抱歉, 我懂的辭彙有限, 所以只能寫一些粗淺的文章.

    我寫的文章時常被只背文法的英文高手抓包, 我不以為然, 因為我寫東西是用仿句法, 我只會使用我懂的句型來寫; 要我中翻英, 我真的不會, 即使有文法上的瑕疵, 但至少我寫的能讓人看得懂.

    不妨來參考我寫過的, 我用粗淺的英文也爭去到60個best answers.

    我最喜歡的一句英文, I didn't went to college. 是一位德州名作家的話.

    期共勉之!

  • 1 decade ago

    英文不是自己母語,要能寫的像老外的思維,本來就很難,不過我很好奇你朋友是English native speakers嗎?

    2008-01-06 01:15:14 補充:

    再說作文好壞也算是很主觀的評價

    同一張臉,同一篇作文,老或是年輕,好或是爛,我都親身體驗過2極的說法

    所以?沒有個準的,只要有進步就好

    不過,抱歉,我沒有針對您的問題作詳述

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