How to deal with this?

I can't stand my mom, she is very unsupportive.

Any sport I've played, she doesn't support me playing, any job I've ever had she doesn't support me working, anything I've ever done I've had no support. Im not talking about her supporting me financially either.

She either hates the sport Im playing, doesn't know I still like it, or thinks I have quit playing it.

She rarely comes to my games or meets and when she does she complains about being there, wanting to leave right when its over.

She hates having to take me to practice, complains it inconviences her.

As for my job, she is always yelling at me to get a job, to help pay the cell phone bill, to help pay the internet bill but when I get a job, she complains about having to take me to it, she complains the job is too low for me, that I should have a better job or that it is a typical "teen job" and I need to find something more mature. Ive gotten let go from my last job because my mom, it was on good terms though(they know my situation) and im welcome to come back once I get a car. Ive worked at 2 pizza places and a clothing store.

Any job I've ever wanted to grow up and do, shes called me a dreamer and has told me to grow up and be realistic, as if she has no faith I could do the jobs Ive wanted to do.

Ex: Ive wanted to be a doctor, a FBI agent, Ive wanted to do something involving outerspace, something involving marine life, various things. Jobs requiring lots of intelligence.

Its not like im here at 18 wanting to be a Princess of Bobalongashingduh Land.

Ive finally found my calling in Radio Broadcasting, she wants to know why Im not doing anything to get experience, im still in HS, Ive looked, you have to be in college to intern.

I want to also become an indoor skydving instructor, I need to train to take the PT test, she tells me it'll be awhile before I'll be able to be good enough to pass it, so why not start training now I say. She says im too young but should I wait to start getting experience? The course to become a Level 1 instructor only takes 30 days.

Clothes styles, hair styles, ways I do my make-up, guys, friends, boyfriends, you name it, shes hated it.

Tells me that the hair style/clothes style doesn't fit me, doesn't look good.

But isn't being a teen all about trying things and finding yourself?

She hates everything I wear, tells me I look like im 13, that I dress too immaturely, I wear the same clothes the rest of my peers wear.

Ive dyed my hair a few times and she tells me it looks like straw and that I need to cut it, but yells at me for asking to get it cut and it isnt even that bad.

She hates everysingle one of my friends, says they are all trash and none of them really like me anyways or they would hang out. Know what they are doing instead, holding down multiple jobs, focusing on school and getting into college.

She tells me I look like a skank because of the way I do my make-up.

Which, hell I'll even put up a pic if you want to judge if Im skanky looking or not.

She wonders why I don't have a boyfriend and then hates any guy I've ever liked, questions me if Im a lesbian. Im not, im just afraid to let her meet any guy, I dont go on dates because she insist on meeting them first, uh not just no but hell no.

She doesn't support me, she hates everything I do/wear/play. She hates everyone I know/date/am friends with. She basically tells me Ill never be good enough to do anything. Wants me to do things she deems "realistic", date guys that are up to her standards, she wants me to wear clothes she thinks are "mature" enough for my age.

Whats really hard is I still really love my mom a lot and miss the times when she actually is nice. Lately she hates the world and all the people in it. She pretty much hates everything, too much that it'd be easier to list the stuff she actually does like.

I just don't know what to do anymore.

15 minutes ago - 3 days left to answer.

Additional Details

10 minutes ago

A few more details I may not have listed or you may not have caught.

Im an 18yrold girl, im a senior in .

My mom left the house because we were pissed at each other, agruing about the same stuff im posting on here and I guess she cooled off because she called me and wanted to know what kid of milkshake I wanted from sonic and when i hung up I started crying because she just sounded so nice and it made me miss the old her.

Sorry for this to have been so long and me unloading my sob story onto you but its been really getting to me.

0 seconds ago

To sum it up, I guess, she criticizes me for well, being me.

Update:

Like I said, Im sorry its so long but i felt I needed to say everything that pertained to the situation.

Yeah, I have though of becoming a writer actually.

12 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    Ok so you are very responsible, loving, and goal oriented, if only all teenagers could be like that. It sounds to me that its not you or the world your mom is hating or unhappy with, its herself, and there is not much you can do to help. I congratulate you on sticking it out many teens in such sircumstance have gone looking for a way out that was a bad end. Your mom needs lots of forgivness as she will continue to say and do things she will regret and be mad at herself for until she finds some way to be happy and proud of her own life. She dose love and is proud of you, she just isn't capable of showing it right now. Be of good cheer and be a rolemodel for her as you have been doing all along. Hope this is a small comfort to you as you are deserving of some. God bless you and keep you.

  • 1 decade ago

    Sounds like jealousy and maybe the fact that one day you will be gone and she doesn't really know how to handle it. Know now, that you are not able to depend on your mother's opinion on anything. Which means that you will have to mature rather quickly. You have a whole list of things that you want to be/do. Narrow your list down. It is time for you to focus a little on what YOU really want. Get your mother off of your mind and list what it is that you want to do and find out how to do them. Then cross them off of your list one by one. Your list will take you away from home and that situation. Which will probably get better after you leave. Your mother needs a wake up call. While she is hating the world, the world is still turning and life is still going on, and so will yours.

  • 1 decade ago

    It sounds like your mom has some problems that have to do with mom, not you. Sit your mom down and tell her that you don't understand what's going on. You're 18, it's time to lay down a few boundaries. Tell her that you're no longer going to listen to negative comments. You're not going to argue and you're not going to listen, either. Then leave. Don't get upset, don't defend yourself, don't accuse her. Just state the facts. Next time she starts, walk away. If you can't, put your headphones and listen to music. Do not allow her to make any further negative comments at you. Also, if your father is in your life, talk to him about how you feel.

  • dasupr
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    I think you should print out what you wrote and give it to her to read.

    Sounds like her life isn't happy and she's taking it out on you. You sound like you have some good ideas about your life and what you want to do with it. Continual criticism really does beat you down and make you feel less than.

    I don't think it's you at all but you're getting the brunt of it. She apparently feels bad when she cools off...she needs to know how much she's hurting you.

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  • sounds like ur mom is a normal teenagers mom....i mean..hello..ur a teenager...moms do that..its part of (what they think is ) their duty..as a mother..u should talk to her and tell her that u dont appreciate her criticizing u for everything that u do and u would like it if for once in a while she would congratulate u or give u a compliment.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    omg sounds like my life! my mum never lets me out and my friends go out n stuff im 16 this year nd it sux. i dont have any advice for you as everything ive tried just makes it worse. but hey youll get through it nd u need to put the pic up, but b4 i see it no one looks skanky okay?!?!?? i bet your gawjuss, keep me posted okay xx goodluck

  • 3 years ago

    psssh no deal i choose my £10,000 hi do you think of there surely is a banker on deal or no deal? or is noel in simple terms speaking on the telephone to himself? or something stupid like that

  • jen w
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    my mom does the same thing, you will learn to ignore it, i think she is not satisfied with her own life or she wouldnt have so much time to judge yours. is she the best person with the best life? if not, who cares, or is she a self centered sucessor? she probably doesnt even know what she is doing, parents are like that.

  • 1 decade ago

    Next time try to make the question a bit smaller:]

  • 1 decade ago

    Have you ever thought of becoming a writer, cause this question could have been a novel? HUH!

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