lost asked in Pregnancy & ParentingPregnancy · 1 decade ago

8 months pregnant and alone?

I am due in Feb and my Ex of 6 years left me in September. It's been months since we've spoken, the baby is almost here. I'm excited but scared at the same time, it would be easier with him here. We were college sweethearts and I can't believe that he's really not around.We were pregnant in college but lost the kid and he left then but came around before i lost the baby.do you think that he will come around this time?I try not to think about him but it's hard especially with a baby that is his and mind.I'm just thankful that I have a good job but at the same time it really does get lonely and I worry about being the best mom I can be.I thought that he would have at least cared about me enough to not just walk away.By the way I forgot to mention he suffers from occassional depression and anxiety. Any advice with this situation would be most welcome- happy new year everyone

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    He might still be harboring depressing feelings about the other baby you lost and is scared that you will lose this one too. He also might not be ready to be a father or maybe he's scared. Let him go and call him when you go into labor and see if he comes. Maybe he'll come around if he knows that you still want him around & in the baby's life. If he doesn't come, then forget about him and concentrate on being the best mom you can be. Good luck & congratulations on your upcoming arrival.

    Source(s): <3 Mommy of 3 year old Tyler and 5 week old Riley (preemie) <3
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  • 1 decade ago

    I completely feel for you! I am due in 15 days and the father of my child decided a couple months ago he doesn't want a family anymore. All you can do is focus on you and your baby. Don't allow him to overpower you when he isn't even around. You can't allow yourself to stress about it becasue all it will do is put stress on your baby. For the last 5 weeks I have had to go in for an NST weeekly to monitor my baby due to the stress that was caused. I cried everyday and every night up until just a couple of weeks ago. It is very hard but you have to get in the right mind for you. You are the only one you can depend on for youand your baby and as hard as it may seem, you will be okay. Just tell yourself that you are a strong woman and you will be the best mother that you can be. Wether he is there or not you can still be a good mother. Honestly I feel that some things are better the way they end up. If he is dealing with depression your baby would be able to sence that and that isn't a healthy thing for children to be around. As hard as it has been for me I just keep telling myself that it is better this way so our daughter won't see us fight over stupid things. I wish you the best of luck!!! Juat stay positive and remind yourself that everything is going to be the way that it was meant to be.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I agree with j-lynn's assessment of the reasons he could have left. However, I would advise you to seriously consider if you really want him to come back. Do you want someone that is acting flaky (even if it is due to a valid medical condition) being a part of your child's life? Do you want to take the risk of having him continue to float in and out of your life as he wills it? I have been under treatment for depression for the last 15 years and I didn't have a child until I had found the right medication and had been stable for over 5 years. I was afraid of what the depression would do to my children...I had a depressed mother growing up. I know how bad it can suck to have your parent withdraw from you emotionally. When you are a kid you just don't understand.

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  • 1 decade ago

    It will be hard but you will manage just fine without him. And you will be able to find someone who loves your child like the baby was his. I know that it's tough but it will be worth it. I know you would probably like for him to come back but you don't need that. You need someone who will stick around and not leave every time it gets rough. I was a single mother with no support for over two years. My husband now accepts his stepdaughter just as much as the little girl we have together. You can do better for yourself and your baby. Best of luck to you.

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  • 1 decade ago

    He has left when you needed him most TWICE, forget about that loser and concentrate on a new life with your new baby. If he wants to have visitation and pay child support fine, but you need to protect your heart from this guy, especially now when you are so vulnerable. Stop sitting around waiting to see if he will "come around", and find someone that values you and is there when you need him.

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  • 1 decade ago

    What you need to do now is concerntrate on your baby and doing whats best for the both of you.

    Yes doing it alone is hard but you can do it. You find an inner strength that you never knew you had. Get yourselves comfortable and remember if he comes back it will be on your terms not his. He can hurt your emotions and break your heart but never let him do that to his chlid.

    Enjoy these last few weeks!!!!

    Source(s): Mum of 3 + 2 angels. Partner broke up with me when twins were in NICU from being born 2mths premi.
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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    well hopefully hell come back. theres no way that he could go thru life knowing that he has a kid out there that hes pretty much said *** u to. im sorry he did this to you and wish you thje best. and congratulations on the baby too

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    find him and remind him why you two were in love in the first place. be strong and let him know that you're both in it together if he has depression he's probably spiraling downward because he feels fear at what's coming. show him the thing no one else can show him but you. he has a spiritual bond with you because the two of you have become one remind him of that. you two belong together.

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