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John asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 decade ago

How can one start a family with someone else if they both have different core beliefs?

For example, one is an atheist, and another is religious, or one is a democrat, and one is a republican? How do you raise the chilldren? what do you do??

7 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    This is something that needs to be negotiated well in advance. To think that it's a bridge you can cross when you get to it is to be naive. It is absolutely essential that both parties have an open mind, and are able to share their opinions/values with each other in an honest forum free of judgment.

    If a compromise can't be reached, then the issue of whether to even start a family needs to be dealt with. In most cases, however, it often works best if a consensus is reached that the children will be exposed to both parents values and beliefs, and as they grow it will be up to them to steer their own course. With this, though, it's important that not one parent makes the child feel pressured or guilty over not necessarily choosing that their particular religion/belief system/way of thought. We want to teach our children to be free and critical thinkers, after all, and so forcing them to choose our dogma over finding their own path is in no one's best interest.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well, my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 and a half years and are deeply in love. We've talked about our future and where we'd want to live and such, we're very confident in our relationship and hope it holds out long enough to get married and start a family.. :) Anyways, he's catholic, and I don't even believe in God, though I highly respect his religion and others. We decided if we were to have kids we would leave them United religioned, so they would make their own choice of what religion they would like to be when they're older. Plus, if we were to send them to a catholic school, they would have a religion class and want to talk about it, and possibly need help. They'd turn to their father and I'd be left in the dark, and possibly isolated by my family due to my beliefs. Before I even thought of it, my boyfriend brought that up and said there's no way he'd let that happen. All it takes is 2 open minds and a little compromising.

  • 1 decade ago

    Just because someone believes something....doesn't mean that the children should be raised with those beliefs. That is what makes kids rebel. When ideas and beliefs are pushed into their life. If there is a mutal agreement then whatever....teach your kids, but remember when they get old enough to develop their own ideas...more than likely they will be different than the original ones taught. I would never try to push my ideas and beliefs onto my kids (that I don't have That is just wrong.

    There are differences in ideas, beliefs and morals! I will definitely teach my children morals. The difference between right and wrong. But never how they should think about certain issues, that later in life they might feel strongly about...or completely different about.

  • 1 decade ago

    That's a really tough question. I think this is a very common issue. You'd like to think that love can conquer and compromise will happen in that situation. I think it's sort of doomed to failure. Probably the more dominant personality in a relationship would eventually win out at least on the raising of the children. Resentments and fights are bound to happen. I stick with men who share my similar beliefs...

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  • 1 decade ago

    in a religous situation just do with makes you and your spouse happy. In a political situation it shouldn't matter if you are republican or democrat what really matters is raising your kids and doing the best for your family and it only really matters every 4 years. politics should be a problem in a relationship.

  • 1 decade ago

    Perhaps the question is not 'how', but 'why'. If you truly love each other and are both open-minded, you decide ahead of time on what you can compromise on and what you can't. If either one of you are less than open-minded, it's not going to work.

  • 1 decade ago

    It will not work; a house divided against itself will not stand! And God himself said this!

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