What is the best way to create a peaceful home....with 2 kids under the age of 3?

My son will be 3 the end of march and my daughter is 19 months old,the kids are so close in age, so I think that is why we have such a chaotic house. I am really looking on pointers on how to get my son to be less physical. He is pretty active and he wants what he wants. He will resort to hitting, pushing, once in... show more My son will be 3 the end of march and my daughter is 19 months old,the kids are so close in age, so I think that is why we have such a chaotic house. I am really looking on pointers on how to get my son to be less physical. He is pretty active and he wants what he wants. He will resort to hitting, pushing, once in a while biting his sister, and now unfortunately my daughter is doing the same. I've tried spanking, timeouts, talking with them taking away tv time. You name it. I am just wondering if this is just how it is with children (especially when the boy is born 1st) spaced this close together? How long do you think it will be before I will have the 1st day with no CRYING? Don't get me wrong they are loving and adorable, and I would not change a thing, but somedays....Am I doing something wrong or is this normal?
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