i don't know how to come out to my parents! any tips?

Update:

i know i'm bisexual....its my parents that don't....

24 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Look the best way is the open and honest way. If this is something that is not going to change then you might as well tell them sooner then later.

    Start off by telling them how much you love them and how you apprecaite what they have done for you and cared for you over the years.

    The bottom line is - for some parents this is hard to hear but if you have a healthy relationship with them give them time to take it in, this will be a very big thing to hear so don't expect the perfect reaction...

    You love them so let them know the real you. As a parent myself - yes I think I would be a little upset - we all have dreams of our children getting married and having a bunch of kids - its the truth. But the bottom line is that I love my kids and if they are happy than that is ALL that matters.

    If your parents feel like me - they just want you happy in your life. Parents do so much for their children - a childs happiness and success in life is really a parents job accomplished.

    Bottom line is that they deserve to know - you deserve the freedom of coming out and being yourself. If they don't accept you - well that is thier loss but you have to live the life you want to make you happy.

    Don't forget being a parent is a damn tough job - and we don't always do things perfectly so cut them a little slack too when you tell them. Try to put yourself in their shoes - this conversation really isn't all about you it is about them and thier son.

    Good luck to you. Don't put it off - set the stage and be loving with them. Waiting doesn't do anyone any good and not saying anything is living a lie.

    All the best

    Jade

  • 1 decade ago

    There are a lot of variables to that question. How old are you? Do you live at home? Are you coming out gay or bi?

    If you are under say 20 years old I feel for you. Most parents haven't

    had enough opportunity to view and respect the choices of those in their

    teens. But if you are very close to them and have an open relationship with them it might be a lot easier.

    Many of my friends who are gay simply lived their own lifestyle and let the parents figure it out. However, if you need to come out in order to stop a certain expectation your parents have for you, I would contact an understanding adult who knows you both and approach the parents together.

  • 1 decade ago

    I've not had that issue so I can't speak from experience but I would say choose a moment when it's just you and them. Accept that they may not react the way you want them to. Give them some time to adjust to knowing something more about you. And don't be surprised if they say they've been waiting for you to tell them. Often parents already see clues and have their suspicions. Whatever happens, though, be true to yourself. If it turns into a situation where they can't accept who you are, get yourself to a support group so you don't have to go through that alone. As for what to actually say to them, just be open and honest. You've been practicing it in your head for a while now so just say it.

  • Magus
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    a tough one...

    First what are their views on gays?

    If the family is really redneck it will be hard if unsure fell them out on their views before coming out...

    and I'd get some advice through council ling first

    do you have siblings if so what are their views too?

    Remember it is your life not theirs so it maybe a balance and a fine line as to when and where you tell them

    not an easy answer because different people react differently about this issue i don't think you want to be kicked out of the house either make sure that the right time is chosen or not...

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  • 1 decade ago

    Well, just the fact that you are thinking about telling them is a huge step. You should be proud of yourself for having the self confidence that is necessary for realizing who you really are. Your parents will love you and may already know. Even if they do not know they will still love you. If your parents are still together you could sit them down privately in their room and let them know you need to talk. Let them know that you didnt choose to be like this but that you now understand that you are gay. When I told my mom she was shocked, but I could also tell that she was kinda expecting it also! Good Luck -Alan p.s. if you need any more help or insight please feel free to let me know!! your not alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • 1 decade ago

    You don't need to tell your parents that you are bi-sexual. A lot of people will experiment with both sexes for a while and then they settle for a gender. Your parents do not want to hear about your sexual life.

    When you are ready to settle down with a woman or a man and this person happens to be of the same sex as you.....then you sit down with your parents. Till then, it's your private life and keep it private.

  • Gina C
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Wait until YOU are quite sure whether or not YOU are ready to deal with the consequences. Chances are that nowadays...you parents will be saddened...only because they KNOW how hard your life will be...but unlikely to disown you. But, be prepared for the worst; being thrown out. This DOES still happen. Good luck to you.

    Source(s): Old and crafty
  • 1 decade ago

    As a mother I would like to add one thing....Love is the greatest thing in the world and the love you have for your children is the most beautiful kind of LOVE....So if they LOVE you even if they dont agree, they will support you in your lifesytle and relationships. I tell my sons everyday that I will them no matter what...And I mean it.

    Good Luck Sweetie....

  • i dont know how to either. its a hard thing to come by. honestly i cant tell you to just come out and say it because thats one of the hardest things to do. for me. i plan on just saying (someday) that i am not what they think and that i am bi. it will just take a long time for me to get that one out

    good luck with telling your parents.

  • Nikki
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Wait until your able to speak to both of them together. Tell them the truth, sometimes it's not what parents want to hear, but parents are supposed to love their children unconditionally. Remember that communication is important. If my son were to tell me this, so be it. I would love and do love him regardless of his lifestyle or sexual orientation. Best of luck to you hon!

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