My boyfriend told me he is not love with my the same way from when we first started dating?
My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 2 years. He is great. Our issue started when he decided to change from being an Atheist to Christian. He joined my church and was fully dedicated. Then he decided that is was not for him. I tried to help him figure out why he thought this because he didn't know why he thought this, but kept saying it. He finally said it was because he thought God was not real and every religion is not real. Everytime we talked about it, we would argue because I would ask him questions and try to make him see that it was not fake.
These arguments went on for a long time.
I finally accepted who he is and that he is never going to beleive in anything. All of this has had a impact on my spirituality, because all the things he use to say about religion, somewhat made sense to me and I am doubting and woundering who in the relgion world is correct and who is not, and if there really is a God.
Was he correct to say that he is not love with me the like he use to be becuase of our disagreements about our religous beleifs? I never pushed anything on him, he made all the decisions in this matter and I was there to support him the best I could.
Will he ever love me the same? What should I do?
- Vanity AffaireLv 71 decade agoFavorite Answer
I'm in somewhat of a similar situation as you, though we are civil about it. My boyfriend is an atheist, I'm agnostic. When our conversations turn religious, we each speak our minds but never try to convince one of the other. My boyfriend is a very intelligent person, his arguments are very reasonable and very intellectually thought out and I admire that, but it doesn't shake what I believe. We all come to a point in our lives where we doubt and began to explore other things or decide what really fits your life since most of the time what our parents brought us up on is really the only thing we've been exposed to. I think it's important to really research and see what religion fits you and not that of your parents, if one fits you at all. Not everyones needs a religion to make them happy and fulfilled, and some people depend on it. But only you can decide that.
Don't let religion divide you, that's what people have been doing for centuries; letting it divide you into different groups instead of coming together and sharing theories and opinions. I think he was trying to please you when he tried looking into your religion, but don't even bring it up anymore unless it's going to be a time of reflecting and sharing ideas rather then arguing who's right and who's wrong. Because honestly, you really don't know religion is right or wrong in their theories so why bash someone's beliefs when theirs have the same possibility as yours?
- 1 decade ago
Maybe he doesn't love you as much because as time goes on in relationships, and people get to know people better, they realize they don't click as well as they thought. Sometimes it takes a little longer than a couple months to see that, especially if there are SOME things you like about the person. I don't know how old you are, but it's especially common if you're a teen. He's still getting to know himself, he's probably questioning a lot of things in life, including compatibility with you. If it doesn't work out, let it go and move on. You'll meet someone else. He's not rejecting you, it's just not working right. You guys can both find someone you're more compatible with.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
you said: "I would ask him questions and try to make him see that it was not fake." that pretty much qualifies as trying to push someone as far as i'm considered... you guys argued because you wanted to make him share your beliefs and acknowledge the fact that you're right. fact is, people hardly ever change their opinions when it comes to this. i personally get where he's coming from because - eventhough you didn't realize it - i think you were sort of pushing him... just try not to discuss your religious thoughts anymore. surely there are other things you guys can talk about? preferably things that won't lead to an arguement! if you really love him, then you just have to let it go. if that's all that's "wrong" with your relationship, then you have it pretty well.
as for him not being in loves as much anymore: it's normal for people to grow less fond of their partner when they have a lot of fights. especially when the arguements resolve about one person trying to change the other persons beliefs. as i said: just try not to discuss the matter as much anymore. and when it does come up, try to avoid a fight! other than that, you can try to do something romantic for him? try to set the right mood, show him how much you appreciate him! if you can combine this with less fights, then chances are that his love for you will come back!
good luck! =)