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What do you think of my writing?

My lifelong dream is to publish my own novel. I'm 14 now, and I want to complete a long story before I finish studying. I know my writing right now it's probably not good material, but I do want to improve.

http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2452297/1/

There's the link to one of my stories. I'd appreciate it if you would take the time to read it and tell me what I'm doing wrong.

=]

5 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I read the first several paragraphs and here are my comments:

    First, you've got a moderately interesting hook with Chrissie finding the window mysteriously broken. So you clearly know the importance of drawing a reader in early on, especially in a short story. Good job with that.

    I don't know why you've chosen to have a prologue in a short story - that's pretty irregular and isn't entirely necessary. If your story doesn't truly start with Chrissie finding the broken window, then identify where your story actually begins, nix the prologue, and start it from the story at the beginning. :)

    Your writing is pretty strong for your age but needs some polish. As somebody already identified, your grammar slips in a few places where it shouldn't. (I don't mind when characters speak with poor grammar, within reason - but it's your narrative stretches that bother me). Some of your prose tends a little bit toward the purple side (that is, too wordy where something more simplistic would actually have more drama and impact) but not nearly as badly as many other teens' writing I've read, and it's certainly not as purple as my prose was at age 14! XD

    I think at this point you can bring your work up to the next level - that is, ready to be published - by just reading a ton. I know that sounds crazy. But read lots and lots of whatever you want to publish. Especially focus on reading the "classics" of your area of interest. If you're interested in writing short stories (which are easier to get published than novels and are a great thing for as-yet-unpublished aspiring novelists to focus on!) then read lots of short story collections. Take notes as you read. Ask yourself why some things work so well, and what you feel doesn't work in a particular story. Ask yourself whether your writing is similar to these published and well respected authors' works in terms of prose and structure.

    The more you read, the better writer you will become!

    Nice work so far - keep it up! You obviously have a lot of talent and ambition and I'm sure with more practice and editing you'll be selling stories soon!

  • Erika
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    Listen to a crap load of song. Since the guitar is surely very simular to a piano, I discover being attentive to many classical portions, speradically places anything into my head. One more thing, I customarily begin out gambling a riff highly sluggish. I am speakme like 15 to twenty BPM. This offers me an particular believe for what I am gambling from the begin, being capable to take away out of place notes, and even an whole scale. Then even as escalading the pace extra matters come to mild. So in my difficult to understand procedure the begin to a riff is also the identical or whole oposite from the usual while 20 BPM becomes 2 hundred BPM

  • 1 decade ago

    i'm not an English professor or anything, but i think that's pretty good. as long as you have passion for writing, then your lifelong dream will become very easy achieving.

  • 1 decade ago

    The story works, but you do need to work on your grammar more.

  • 1 decade ago

    Oh my gosh! I thought that was so awesome! You would be a GREAT writer. No complaints!!!

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