Grammar/Spelling check please?

As the golden sun slowly descended from heaven’s throne, the blissful air silently coveted the restless men. A buffalo of immense stature would easily satisfy the hunger of the awaited men. Before the beast even realized the impact, the men had launched a cleverly crafted tool into the animal’s beating heart, leaving it to a mercifulness death. Yet as the men feasted on their golden prize that night, little did they know that the same stone knife that had slain the beast would cripple humanity as it carved history’s long awaited path of technological advancement. Evolution has caused man to evolve their process of thinking, leading them to many advances in technology. These include our modern day phone, computer, and cars. However, as technology aids the evolving man, it can also harm humans and their environment.

Update:

On the morning of December 7, 1941, two aerial attack waves, totaling 361 aircraft with the intention of reducing or eliminating the United States' military power in the Pacific, bombed Pearl Harbor. The attack on Hawaii invited America into World War II and contributed to more than 60 million deaths, including 40 million civilizans and 20 million soldiers. The ability to create these inventions, wether it might be a simple stone tool, or a complex nuclear bomb, has been prolonged through history as progression throughtout the world . Many people naturally assume that technology and the inventions of tools would aid humans into future advancements, however, as evident in Brave New World, today’s current state, and history’s lesson, technology has become a burden on man.

Update 2:

thank you soooooooo much!

Update 3:

awwwww you guys are SO helpful! :)

13 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Impeccable grammar there, good job!

  • 1 decade ago

    Here, I put **x** on the outside of things I edited.

    As the golden sun slowly descended from heaven’s throne, the blissful air silently coveted the restless men. A buffalo of immense stature would easily satisfy the hunger of the **awaiting** men. Before the beast even realized the impact, the men had launched a cleverly crafted tool into the animal’s beating heart, leaving it to a **merciful** death. Yet as the men feasted on their golden prize that night, little did they know that the same stone knife that had slain the beast would cripple humanity as it carved history’s long awaited path of technological advancement. Evolution has caused man to evolve their process of thinking, leading them to many advances in technology. These include our modern day phone, computer, and cars. However, as technology aids the evolving man, it can also harm humans and their environment.

    1 minute ago - 3 days left to answer.

    Additional Details

    1 minute ago

    On the morning of December 7, 1941, two aerial attack waves, totaling 361 aircraft with the intention of reducing or eliminating the United States' military power in the Pacific, bombed Pearl Harbor. The attack on Hawaii invited America into World War II and contributed to more than 60 million deaths, including 40 million **civilians** and 20 million soldiers. The ability to create these inventions, **whether** it might be a simple stone tool, or a complex nuclear bomb, has been prolonged through history as progression **throughout** the world . Many people naturally assume that technology and the **invention** of tools would aid humans into future advancements, however, as evident in Brave New World, today’s current state, and history’s **lessons**, technology has become a burden on man.

    Source(s): Me
  • 1 decade ago

    The first paragraph was fine. The second one I had to make some changes and they are below. Just copy and paste it to where you need it.

    "On the morning of December 7, 1941, two aerial attack waves, totaling 361 aircraft with the intention of reducing or eliminating the United States' military power in the Pacific, bombed Pearl Harbor. The attack on Hawaii invited America into World War II and contributed to more than 60 million deaths, including 40 million civilians and 20 million soldiers. The ability to create these inventions, whether it might be a simple stone tool, or a complex nuclear bomb, has been prolonged through history as progression throughout the world. Many people naturally assume that technology and the inventions of tools would aid humans into future advancements, however, as evident in Brave New World, today’s current state, and history’s lesson, technology has become a burden on man."

  • TexMel
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    I liked your writing very much, but the first paragraph seemed a little too flowery in parts and a bit confusing as to what you meant. Here are my changes, for what they're worth. Just my humble thoughts:

    "As the golden sun slowly descended from heaven’s throne, the pristine air silently cloaked the restless men. A buffalo of immense stature would easily satisfy the hunger of their small, huddled group. Before the beast even realized the impact, the men had plunged a cleverly crafted tool into the animal’s beating heart, leaving it to a merciful death. Yet, as the hunters feasted on their prize that night, little did they know that the same stone knife that had slain the beast would cripple humanity as it carved history’s long awaited path of technological advancement.

    Evolution has caused mankind to evolve its process of thinking, leading it to many advances in technology, including the modern day phone, computer, and cars. However, as technology aids the evolving man, it can also harm humans and their environment."

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  • 1 decade ago

    Grammar:

    “On the morning of December 7, 1941, two aerial attack waves, totaling 361 aircraft with the intention of reducing or eliminating the United States' military power in the Pacific, bombed Pearl Harbor.” Run on sentence.

    Also : “….history as progression throughout the world .”(no space between world and the period) “Many people naturally assume that technology and the inventions of tools would aid humans into future advancements,” (Change the comma to ;).

    Spelling:

    Civilizans – civilians

    Wether- weather

    Throughtout- throughout

    Besides that your writing is amazing

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Looks and sounds good. The only change I would make would be to break the last sentence into 2 for distinction :

    "Many people naturally assume that technology and the inventions of tools would aid humans into future advancements. However, as evident in Brave New World, today’s current state, and history’s lesson, technology has become a burden on man."

    Notice the period after "future advancements." Also, I'm not sure about the wording on "aid humans into future advancements". I think I would go for something more like "spur humans on to greater advancements". Just a thought.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Wow nice amazing you are a good writer

  • 1 decade ago

    Looks good.

  • 1 decade ago

    Ahhhhh......... so what does that have to do with spelling or grammer? And what was your question again in a shorter version ...lol

  • 1 decade ago

    Nice diatribe ROFL ROFL.yet that is not really a question now is it.

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