Can you have sex with someone that has herpes and not contract it urself if you are safe?
Is it possible to have sex with someone who has contracted the STD herpes and not be able to contract it yourself? Especially if that person really takes care of themselves and hasn't had any signs of it for 2 years? I mean who are we too judge someone who has made a mistake in their life one night? Does that person not deserve the chance to be intimate and fall in love with another person? Should I hold this against her? I just don't know what to do? I'm very Lost and hope that there is someone out there reading this question who will be able to help guide me in the right direction and answer all my questions that i have asked here today!?
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
It's possible, but don't get caught up in the heat of the moment and promises of "don't worry, you can't catch anything I haven't had an outbreak in a week!"Source(s): Personal Experience: I have had HSV (Herpes Simplex Virus) for over 3 years now
- Anonymous4 years ago
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
There really isn't any protection against STDs other than not having sex with a person who has an STD. You can wear a condom which can be effective against SOME STD's, but there is ALWAYS the risk of contracting STDs when you have sex with someone who has tested positive for an STD. There is no cure for Herpes. It's great that the person you like hasn't had any breakouts/flare ups in two years, but that means she's probably doing what her doctors have prescribed and is keeping it under control. It never just goes away.
I do agree that anyone with an STD deserves love, too. I don't think that having an STD should be held against anyone. It is an unfortunate consequence of sex.
In my opinion, you should really think about how much you like/love this person. Think about the risks, the possible outcomes, versus the benefits. If this woman is someone you may want to spend the rest of your life with, certainly you are going to want to be intimate with her, and it won't screw your sex life up if you DO get herpes, because you'll both have it. If, however, you are thinking you may have other sexual partners in your lifetime, you may want to not risk contracting it yourself.
My best advice to you would be to just call your doctor and ask her/him. Your doctor will tell you the best prevention for Herpes (other than abstinence if there is anything), and may even give you tips on "activities" you can do sexually without putting yourself at risk.
Good luck to you!
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- LisaLv 44 years ago
Yes, there isn't any. Herpes is caused by a virus. Actually, there is little cure for viruses nowadays. The only thing that you can generally do in the case of a viral infection is strengthen the immune system and hope it fights it off. Not with Herpes, the immune system can't win against it. Thus you only get to treat the symptoms. Once you're infected, it stays with you for life. So don't get infected.
Personal experience. I have had genital herpes for over 5 years.
The #1 Herpes Cure Program?Source(s): https://bitly.im/aL9WP
- 1 decade ago
I've had herpes for 24 years. who says she made a mistake??? maybe she was lied to by the person she was intimate with 2 years ago. and no u shouldn't hold it against her. what is important is she was honest and upfront with u so u can make an informed decision. which means she is more than likely that way period as a person. those are great qualities. she would probably be a loyal, faithful, and trusted companion. i have been married 7 1/2 years and my husband does not have it. we never use condoms. i am just very aware of my symptoms. we avoid sex when i feel them even if i don't break out. the question u need to ask yourself is if she didn't have herpes would u be interested in her?? if so give yourself the chance to get to know her instead of concerning yourself with having sex with her.
- LINDSEY SLv 71 decade ago
don't hold it against her, she might have gotten enough of that all ready. if she is taking medications and not having sex if she has an outbreak then that cuts the risk down some also using condoms will help but the only thing is condoms don't protect all the areas that herpes can break out. herpes might make things inconvenient but u can still have intamecy. u can still have a risk of getting herpes. get yourself tested regularaly just in case. do some research on herpes and talk to your doctor about it and see what they can recomend. at least she told u about her having herpes.Source(s): living with herpes and my boyfriend for over 2 years.
- mayflower25Lv 61 decade ago
First of all, does she know which tye of herpes she has, type 1 or type 2? Both viruses cause roughly equal numbers of genital hepres these days.
If she has hsv-2, and you had UNprotected sex with her several times a week for a year, and just avoided when she had an outbreak, then your risk over an entire year would be 10% that you would catch it. Using condoms halves this figure, and if she takes valtrex that would alve it again, leaving a risk of about 2-3% a year. Many couples are together for years without transmitting it.
If she has hsv-1, then this is the virus that causes most oral herpes - if you have ever had a cold sore on your mouth then you probably have it yourself - 95% of cold sores are caused by the hsv-1 virus. 80% of the population has hsv-1 on their mouths by high school age - it is usually caught from a kiss from a family member or another child. If this is what she has, it is worth getting tested for it yourself (you can have a blood test), because if you already have it in your system then your risk of catching hsv-1 from her would be negligible. The risk of catching hsv-1 from her anyway, even if you are negative for it, it very low - genital hsv-1 is infectious about 3-4% of the time, and only 25% of people who have it genitally are EVER infectious when they are not experiencing detectable symptoms. Your chance of catching it would be less than 1% a year. In contrast, someone who has it orally - ie gets occasional cold sores - is infecitous 18% of the time, so you would be much more likely to contract genital herpes hsv-1 from receiving oral sex from a girl who gets the odd cold sore than from a partner who has it genitally.
There is no way of absolutely making sure you don't get herpes - it is up to you what you do. You shouldn't judge her, most people catch herpes from steady relationships and 1 in 4 girls has it - along with the 8 in 10 who have it orally. Speaking for myself, I caught hsv-1 genitally from my steady boyfriend, who got cold sores from being a child, and passed it to me through oral sex. He was my first partner. These things happen, but physically herpes is easy to deal with. The stigma can be harder to cope with, as some answers illustrate, so I guess you have to ask yourself if you can prepare yourself to deal with that.
I hope someone would give me a chance. I really do.
- Pam HLv 61 decade ago
Go to Web MD and read up on Herpes. If you use protection the chances of you catching it are pretty slim. There are also medications (Valtrex) that keep the infected person from having outbreaks so they are less likely to spread it. No, you shouldn't necessarily hold it against a person that they have Herpes. If you think you love her, find out the safe ways to have sex, find out everything you can about Herpes. That way you can make a more informed decision. You shouldn't judge her because she made a mistake one night, but don't make the same mistake she did. Good luck.
- summerLv 51 decade ago
It is never completely out of the question that you could contract herpes even if your partner doesn't have an outbreak. There are certain medications (like Valtrex) that the other person can take to lessen the chance that you will be infected. But you are never completely safe no mater how careful you are. Be careful about making any contact between skin. You have to decide whether it is worth the risk.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
It is a rare occurance that someone with herpes will not give it to thier partner. I'm not going to preach, my mom is a gyno, and even if the recipient has only had one partner, and they had herpes, the recipient will feel it's unfair and go on to have at least five more partners. it's a fact. I am not judging the girl, but if she has continued to have unprotected sex *yes, even if the other person knows, and doesn't want to use a condom*, then she is a selfish, horrid person, and the partner is a damn fool. You may or may not be with this person for the rest of your life, and it is noone's right to spread it to thier next partner, wife, husband, whatever, and then when that person has children, the children suffer from it, also, because of selfishness. It does not matter whether or not she has signs, the area looks nice and inviting, she smells and looks pretty, it's still there. my sister waited until marriage for sex and then got herpes from her selfish husband, who had only been with one othert girl, knew he had it, and gave it to my sister, who didn't know until thier twins came, with herpes and eye and blood problems. i know it's not about sluttiness, one the victims part. You NEED to get checked. NOW.