how to politely tell someone NOT to buy you something?
my ex bf keeps sayin that he wants to get me an xmass gift and i have already told him not to and he thinks im just saying it..how do i get it across that i do not want him spending money on me..he had to borrow money from his mom last month to pay his car insurance so he doesnt have money to spare and i dont feel comfortable with him buying me things...i dont want to be mean but i need to get him to understand i dont want him buying me anything..please help
i dumped him to go back to my ex/best friend so he knows that we're not ever gunna be more then friends but he still acts like we're together even though i love someone else..its really akward!! lol
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Maybe something like:
"I really appreciate you wanting to do something for me for Xmas, I think that's so thoughtful of you.
I don't want to give you a false impression (or mixed message, or lead you on) of where we're at, and I think if I accept a gift from you, even if we both think and say there's 'no strings attached' I feel like realistically, of course there are.
I can't accept a gift from you, as if you're 'just a friend.' You and I had something different then just friendship - I don't want to get things confusing or misunderstood."
Bottom line - Express appreciation first, then say how you're bond was so special, exchanging gifts would say more than what's on the surface - and then reiterate how thoughful the idea is.
Maybe to push it even further you could say..
"You know I'd love to get a gift from you, but I want to do the right thing by me and you - and I know that exchanging gifts would muddy things up for us (or for me).
Look out though -
He's not over you (and maybe you're not ready to let go?) - so anything you're doing at this point is keeping him strung along. If he's contemplating buying a gift for you, he's obviously not buying one for a new gf. He's not letting go. Be super aware of boundaries - if you two are going to talk - make sure it's not at 3 am....make sure you're not acting like you're dating while saying you're not -
If you're acting super close to him, he would be confused why he couldn't do something nice for you to show you how much he cares...
Uh- good luck
Maybe if he ultimately hands you a gift you could nicely give it back right then and there (without opening it) and say "I'm sure whatever you did was super thoughtful, but you know [insert name here], I couldn't take this without feeling guilty...or like I'm leading you on...or giving you a mixed message of where we stand...etc."
- readLv 44 years ago
I pay attention you in this one, I actually have a one 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous woman descendant and that i complication approximately all this crap being offered accessible. i do no longer think of there is an worry-free way of asserting this so i'd advise to easily be straight away out with them, tell them which you at the instant are not delicate with your toddler twiddling with plastic toys. I advise, whether they get stricken (which I quite doubt) what's extra significant to you? retaining your kinfolk satisfied, or retaining your newborn risk-free? Oh! another ingredient you're able to do is sign up at a save which include infants*R*Us and enable them to renowned which you're registered at this style of save, that way they only would desire to purchase off a itemizing of things which you chosen.
- WCLv 71 decade ago
Tell those people that their love and friendship means more to you than any material thing they can give.In this way, you make them feel good and you get what you want.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Next time he says it say thanks but I don't want anything keep your money and pay your mom back that would make me happy.
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
Tell him you mean it and if he does give you something you will throw it away or give it to the homeless.
- peppershamLv 71 decade ago
What's wrong with the truth,if it is?Just say I will not except any gift from you please stop makeing an awakard situtation here.