What is the best way to deal with this friend of mine?

I've been friends with her for years but since we're getting older she is beginning to change (not that changing is a bad thing). But she has gotten in with a crowd that treat her badly and undermines her as a person, she complains to me all the time about it but then she goes back and starts hanging with them. She always does things like this and then comes back to me to talk out her problems, I find it kind of stressful helping her out because she always ends up hanging with them. It's like she's doing it because she knows whatever happens she'll always have me to run back to. And now that she is also dating someone her behaviour is getting worse, like when I try and talk to her on messenger she's like "im busy, sorry talking to my boyfriend". And when she visits my place for like five minutes she does the same thing, she's like "i gotta get home to go talk to my boyfriend.

Please help? What should I do? Do you think I am exaggerating or is this a legit problem?

11 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    People usually have one good person they can "count on" . You can't really say too much about her behavior or who she hangs out with, as it will only push her to them more.

    You can start to do the same in return to her. If she starts talking about the same problems, now YOUR too busy. It is hard to be in that situation. I am the same way, I am the person everyone goes to when they have problems because they know I am always there.

    Sometimes being stern with them, is what you need to do. Friendship is a two way street! Good luck to you.

  • 1 decade ago

    I think that your friend needs a reality check. She is getting herself in a bad situation and could be in for major problems. How old are you guys? If you can do it, talk to her family. A lot of people won't listen until the bad happens, but that is where I would try to go first.

    As for your sanity, as mean as this sounds, treat her like she's treating you. For example, when she wants to stop in for a minute, tell her you are too busy right now, you have company or whatever. She'll get mad at you, by the way, for never having time. When she does, ask her how it feels. Tell her that she has been treating you like that for months (or whatever) and that it really hurts you to think that she is using you, but never there for you. Or, skip the mean part and just talk to her about that last bit, if you think it will work. Oh, and tell her what you told us.

    Good luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    Your friend is growing up and experimenting and trying to find out where she fits in best. I dont doubt that she isnt going to stop looking to hang around with more types of people. It is just normal for some people. Its like a growing pain and you really cant control someone or determine their disposition because it will be the result of their past and present experiences and what their belief systems are. Not everyone is like this.

    Maybe she is on drugs also and its affecting her better judgement. I wouldnt rule that out. Seek some help for her just in case. Better to be safe than have a friend who is putting her life at risk.

  • 4 years ago

    hi, Sorry to pay attention approximately what befell. so which you have been invited to a occasion the place there is no person you comprehend nicely. And it form of feels that folk weren't very friendly there. each in specific situations it hurts to anticipate which you will delight in the form even inspite of the undeniable fact that it grew to become out in any different case. yet you in simple terms ought to nicely known which you have been invited via the host because of the fact which you have been somebody particular. in any different case why could she invited you? yet another project is that your different pal could be in touch with the human beings and did not extremely notice which you probably did not comprehend every person else there. events are straightforward place to fulfill distinctive human beings, and not each physique isn't continually friendly. in case you weren't pleased with the situation, you probably did the superb selection via leaving, yet a minimum of you confirmed to the host which you went there and admire the invitation. yet there is noone to be blame whilst the occasion is going chilly. Your different pal could in all probability care approximately you extra in a distinctive project, so my advice is do not concern too lots approximately this journey. you will locate extra events interior the destiny and a few are good, some are sucks. not each physique is a social butterfly so extremely, i does not concern in any respect.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I think it is legitimate. It seems like you 2 r getting to the point where your interests and lifestyles are changing. I think you should sit her down and just let her know how you are feeling; she may not even realize that she's hurting you with her actions. Try to be understanding of her decisions, but let her know that you don't want to be left in the dust.

    My motto: True friends last forever...everyone else comes and goes when as God sees fit for them to be in your life.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Take a step back and remember what it feels like to be excited about a new relationship.

    Continue to let her know you are there, but don't begrudge her need for some space or her need to feel that first flush of excitement from love.

    Just be there for her and be a friend. sometimes being a friend means backing off a little.

  • 1 decade ago

    Her boyfriend may be abusing her if she's treated so badly, he might be forcing her to come back. I would tell her to stay away from those people, they might hurt her. If, of course, you are perceiving this right.

  • 1 decade ago

    Let her learn her lesson. You cannot save her so forget about it. Seems like she treats you like oyu say she is being treated, look at you first, yo.

  • 1 decade ago

    i do not mean to sound insensitive, but you may want to drop

    her a a friend. her treatment of you is far from being right.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    it's legit

    thats gay of her tell her straight out be like im not your ****** guidance counselor/ therapist so **** off

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