Looking for a Short Haired-Red-Nose-Saber Toothed-Floppy Ear-Doberman Pinscher-Pom-A-Porkie-Poo?

I am in desperate need of this RARE dog breed!!! I looked them up on the internet and fell in love with it!! where can i get one????
Update: P.S. Anne.....get a sense of humor would ya?! it was a joke.
Update 2: LMAO basset... nice e-mail. lol
Update 3: lol...sure Meg, we can go...but get a Black -Nose-Long-Leg- Medium Haired-Chi-Pom-Poo-A-Peke-Golden-Lab-Min... Pin-Yorkie-Bull Mastiff-Lhasa-Poo-Chorkie-Doodle!! then we can breed!!
Update 4: LMFAO.........you guys are hilarious!! I'll take all the dogs you got!!!!
Update 5: it's hard to choose just ONE BEST ANSWER...if it were up to me, I'd choose all of you guys!! all your answers are great & funny. love them all!!! :)
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