Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 decade ago

Isn't it bad etiquette to not include the recipients' last names on an envelope?

My married friends have sent my boyfriend and I two different Christmas cards. The first one I thought was quite inappropriate (another story for another time), the second was a normal card with their picture on it that said "Merry Christmas". Neither of the envelopes that the cards came in had my or my boyfriend's last name. It simply said:

John & Jane

123 Main Street

City, State. Zip

I was always taught that when you address a letter to someone, you should always include their last name, even if you're sending it to two people at the same address. Their full names were in the return address ("Mr. & Mrs. Bob and Sue Jones"), so I'm confused. Shouldn't they have put "Mr. John Smith & Ms. Jane Doe"? Do they think only married couples should have their last names on envelopes? What are your thoughts?


OK, I see some of y'all are getting really up-in-arms about this. I'm not really THAT worried about it. I just know what I was taught and seeing them address their cards that way got me to thinking.

I know it's 2007, but etiquette is etiquette. There's a reason why we have certain guidelines to go by.


10 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    As far as proper etiquette, yes they should include your last names even if you do not share the same last name. Maybe they forgot or did not know your last names.

    Source(s): Our family has 3 different last names. I kept my last name, my boys have my ex-husbands last name, and my current husband with his son obviously is different than ours. So on our return label as well as some people address envelopes to us it reads: Doe/Smith/Jones or A. Doe/B&Bjr. Smith/C&D. Jones
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Last names are much nicer. My guess is that they don't know how to address a card to two unmarried people living under the same roof. Of course, it is most proper to say "Ms. Jane Smith and Mr. John Doe", but they may not know that.

    I would just be glad they sent you a card and are thinking about the two of you.

  • If it's a professionalism thing, yeah I agree with you. But a Christmas card between two friends, it's more personal with just the first names. At least it is for me. I was in the army for a long time so anyone to just use a first name to me is someone very close.

    I can see what you mean though.

  • 1 decade ago

    I would think putting the last name would help ensure the card doesn't get lost.

    I wouldn't be offended if I got a card without my last name on it. That has never happened to me, though.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I think its okay i would be grateful to have the card and not worry about it-I don't think it's an etiquette issue just a sign of the times

    merry CHRISTmas

  • 1 decade ago

    It is a little unusual, yes, but I don't think it's poor etiquette, per se. What's so bad about first names?

    You might want to spend a little time thinking about why this bothered you so much. Your comment about married couples vs. single indicates to me that there may be a deeper issue here.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    its; 2007 it's okay!

    i swear !

    yes it is more professional to use first and last names but it's not nessarry for cards and BS

    i personally only put first names or uncle Jon .

    or just put the address in my return address i don't put our names i just put

    123 main st

    city state

    but really life is too short to be all focused on something that really don't mean that much don't you agree!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Not worth worring about. I doubt it was intended as a slight. Be happy they thought enough of BOTH of you to send it with both names.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    it was in bad taste or just ignorance .The fact that they did send a card is vetry nice,

  • 1 decade ago

    I think it should have said that. Maybe they were trying to be informal. Tell them you don't like their informality, can they please include last names next time?

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