What is the deal with calling adoptees an "it"?

This is not directed to either the adoption reformist or the pro adoption folks. We do agree that adoptees are human children.


What I am talking about is reading through the questions and answers on this forum. People call adoptees "it". Its nauseatingly disrespectful to adoptees and both sides of their families.

16 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    Yeah, I have noticed that too. But I chose to ignore it. I mean you are right it is very disrespectful. There are some people that are raised with no manners.

    Source(s): being adopted
  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    I personally prefer the term ADOPTEE. I have never thought twice about it. The term "adopted person" just sounds.... well... kinda weird to me. Everyone has their own personal views as to why they want to be called either or and no matter how you say it, somebody out there will be offended one way or another. Adoption and some of the subjects that go along with it are no doubt, VERY, VERY DELICATE SUBJECTS. But at the same time, some are, I feel, a little hypersensitive when it comes to this subject. I guess perhaps due to their life experiences. I don't feel that either label is less validating, one is just more direct and to the point.

  • 1 decade ago

    I have also heard 'Is it a boy or girl?' 'Do you have a name picked out for it?' 'Can you feel it kick?'

    These are questions I have heard asked towards pregnant women. I think quite often it's an innocent mistake, because to those asking the question, or making the statement, there isn't an identity connect to. Maybe the same is true when we see people say 'it' when talking about adoption.

  • 1 decade ago

    thank you JustaNot.

    I though i was just being sensitive but now i know i'm not crazy. i had stopped reading from a couple of people becasue of that and they already have adopted kids. i wonder how they feel when they sit back and listen to conversations about them. A lot of these people found it offensive but i wonder how many of them have posted it without realizing it. Thanks for this question/statement. i guess people only see the disrespect when they're the ones being disrespected. otherwise they're ignored and i think we are one of the most ingored people in the world. we're not even hear dby the organizations that claim to help us. go figure.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well a lot of times the adopters (parents) don't want to think that the child has been named/had by someone else. They are the same kind of people who only want newborn babies because they think that the older children will not love them or bond with them.

    Yes I agree that they are human children not cars or houses.

    EDIT: I think the question is referring to the time during the adoption process.

  • Lillie
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Here are a few:

    "i would like to adop a baby cause, for one thing i got love and would take care of it very well,see i had t kids with this man i was married to and he talked me in to getting fixed and i did, i really did wont to but i did and now i wish i had not done this cause now ia married and love this man and wont to have a child with him

    so adop is a good thing some one can love it and give it a good home that cares about it"

    "I don't really want to adopt because I am afraid that when the child grows up it wants to know its real parents. "

    "Adoption Q's For Those Who Always Say "Put it up for adoption if you don't want it...just don't abort!"

    Need me to dig up any more? I have time...

    Source(s): Your friendly YA answerers
  • 1 decade ago

    I am referred to as "it" twice in my legal adoption papers. If the U.S. court system and the adoption agency feel it's appropriate then it just becomes the norm.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I have an adopted sister, I would never call her an 'it'!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    This reminds of a book i reed called

    "A child called it"

    very very sad true story


  • Cam
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    I don't think it's intentional.

    It's typical, and not always appropriate, that "it" is used when referring to anything in speech or writing.

    It happens and I don't think you should get upset about it or take offense to it in the adoption category.

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