How do you forgive?

A couple of years ago, My Ex-girlfriend left me. I know what you thinking, yea so? well she didn't just leave me, she cut me off completely. Change her Email,Phone, everything!!! the very next day. Yes she found someone else. What did I do you say?? No I did not cheat on her,I loved her to death, I wasn't perfect but I was loyal. I may have been a bit strong (personality wise) but I spoiled her and took care of her, I did nothing to warrant such an act. Anyway the issue NOW is my anger. I have held this up inside me for so long that is beginning to affect me in every aspect of my life. I don't know how to forgive and I don't know how to let go. I was thinking of facing her, Somehow that seems to be the only way to finally closed this circle. Any advice anyone? and please, Provide

logical answers, not just "forget her man" type of answer.Anyone who's been in this situation would understand is not that simple. Thanks guys

8 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I do understand. Sometimes people can hurt you so bad and they really don't realize how much damage they are actually doing.

    I had to pray my anger away. I had to ask God to heal my heart and give me peace of mind...I'm not all holier than thou's just something that I chose to do because I couldn't find any other way to help me forgive.

    Just because we forgive, doesn't mean we have to forget. Sometimes you just have to learn to let go!!

    I just realized that while I'm sitting here everyday hating and being mad at them, they are living their life and having fun...That's not fair! I deserve to be happy too.

    Source(s): Life, Love, HeartACHE.
  • 1 decade ago

    hi ..I've been in a similar situation before. from your mail, it is obvious you have a problem letting go of the past which is normal. what you need t o do is to go out there and make new friends and then seek new opportunities for yourself. you owe it to yourself. living in the past is not going to solve anything and forgiveness is something that doesn't come overnight. it takes years for healing. the sooner you pick yourself together and start a fresh page in your life and forget the past , the better it will be for you.

    it is obvious your ex gf doesn't appreciate the things you have done for her and just imagine if she is like that now , you cant expect a long and permanent relationship with her in the future and even then it might be even worse and too late for regrets.

    facing her will not do any good. it will only bring back lots of memories and it will be painful for you. so do you want her to know how much she has wrecked your life. harder said than done but just move on and accept the closure. once you find someone new and deserving of you, only then will you start the healing process for you will have a new focus and be more forward looking and live for now and the future..NOT IN THE PAST. Hope this helps.

  • 1 decade ago

    Honestly the reason I believe that you havent let it go is because maybe ther was no closure, y exactly did she leave you? was there and end discussion that lead the two of you to be come to agree that you were better off alone? If not,because it seems as if she up and left one day out the blue,so, i would think that you need closer, so yes,maybe approaching her if you know how to locate her would be a good idea,and just ask her what happened.Next time though your in a relationship,be more attentive and take her seriously when she comes to you and has a problem with the way you do something.

  • 1 decade ago

    My husband left with no explaination, I understand where you are with this. We were married 6 years and all he could say was "I'm not happy, can't remember when I was happy and I can't go through the motions anymore". I to this day don't know if there was someone else or not, it was something I could not consume myself with.

    What is important is the fact that I am young and have plenty of options. The truth is, he did me a favor. If he were miserable it would have brought me down too.

    The same applies to you. This life is far too short to spend one more day thinking of what could have or might have been. You have no idea what you are missing out on because you can't close that door. Please, do yourself a favor, move on and be happy she did you that favor. I'm not saying its easy but, I am since in an amazing relationship and can't imagine having missed out on this place that I'm in now.

    Good luck to you!

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    See I completely understand your condition, though I never been in this situation. Its up to you what you want? What you think, you become? To lower down your anger and get back to normal is just divert your mind or talk to your friend who is very close to you and tell everything whatever happened. Do not keep anything inside, just let it out. Just vomit everything whatever happened. I am very sure that you will feel good and very light after talking about it with your friend (make sure that he/she is trustworthy otherwise that person can also make you worse by exposing it to other for fun. Believe it will help you a lot. The things in your head is troubling you, you mind is unable to take it now. Therefore, you get tempered. And avoid meeting you EX...

    Dont worry everything will get back to normal...

    And the best medicine for is SMILE...

    It really helps... Trust me it really works....

    SMILE Please :) (Little bit..... Ya........)

    Ya... thats like it...

    Now your problem will get vanished...

  • 1 decade ago

    the best way to forgive is not passing judgement on the person who wronged you. there is nothing you did wrong. love hurts especially when the person you though should love does not. at least one way to know that she still has you in heart is that she has never done any harm to you. cutting offf all contacts does not imply you did something wrong. may be she is shy and not confident enough to let you know that she has no intention of building relationship with you. however try as much as possible to get her and let her confess to you face to face that she does not want any relationshiop with you. do not be irritated with this experience. there is someone else looking after your heart. talk it out with her and release her to the other man.

  • 1 decade ago

    I've been there. At first its hate and anger, but then I realized its not worth it, to feel that way. It wasn't fair to ME. So I just did something really simple. Just go somewhere quiet and talk to that person in your mind (you are going to think Im crazy but it works) just say everything you always wanted to tell her and get it off your chest and when you are done you forgive her, within you.

  • Mr.B
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    The best way to forgive is to have not judged them in the first place...

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.