Please tell me what you guys think!?

When my Husband and I got married we were planning to finish school, work a while and have children. All of the sudden he wants to get his PHD. I am supportive, but he doesn't want to have kids till he is completley done(understandably). I will be 37-40 when he gets done, I def. do not want to wait that long to have kids. I told him this and he said, if he has to choose, he would choose his career over me? I understand things change and I have more than flexible with the children issue more than once, as well as other issues. I just want to know what you guys think about this?! I really appreciate it!

I'm 20 and he is 24, so we have plenty of time, lol. But the thing that scares me, is the fact that he already is saying he would choose his career over me?!

8 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    He may be calling your bluff saying he would choose his career over you so you will stop harping on about having a baby later on. At the moment his focus is on success and so it should be so be greatful for that. His paternal instincts will kick in later on so don't worry.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Chances are that he'll be done with his PhD in less than 17 years.. I think you might be thinking about this the wrong way. It's natural for him to want to strive for something bigger, and have a great career, and by doing so, I'm sure he just plans to use this career to support your future family. Supporting him is probably the best thing you can do, and explain to hiim how you feel. Leaving him, in my belief, is not the answer. You guys are married.. there's obviously a strong connection, and as husband and wife, support and comprimise is required to make the relationship work. Even if you have to wait a little longer to have children, remember that you will have a well-educated, successful husband to back you up.

  • 1 decade ago

    Well, to make this things more fun and happy married for both of you just let him do his PHD (actually he's the one who will lead your family right?). This is not a matter of plenty of time to do this kind of stuff (schooling) but you (itself) has to consider your husband's career and tell him that you can wait till he's completely done his career, then, wait for his answer. Maybe sooner or later he will tell you to build your own family and who knows right? we don't have a crytal ball to predict what's going on, so just try it out, see what he can do for you. Good luck!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Sounds like you married a winner !!!!!!!! I would wait for the children. Looks like you married a very selfish man. Who is going to support the family and HIM while he continues his studies?

    And he would also choose his career over you? Are you sure you want this man to father your children? Seems to me his main concern is himself.

    Good Luck, you'll need it

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  • Me
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    His PHD takes 17 to 20 years?!?!?!??! y!??!? is he studying EARTH?!?! I mean it's not possible to take this long, besides, give him a little mre time and ask him if his feelings for you have changed. y don't u focus on ur ambitions as well? other than babies, do smth to urself first then u can think of children and decide about hr hubby

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Yeah you are pushing it too hard, you are making a future in your mind out of nothing; you have to build the relationship more before you start thinking about these things.

    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=200712...

  • 1 decade ago

    move on now...its early but dont conform your life for his..unless u can compromise then move on..but yea things do change u never know

  • 1 decade ago

    i would just move on with my life if he doesn't want the same.coming from your girl lulu

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