Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 1 decade ago

i really need some encouraging words. i'm not coping too well at the moment?

too much is changing. why was everything so good one day and then the next my world came crashing down. people are walking out of my life,good people who changed me in all different ways. how come its so easy to let someone in your life but the hardest part is saying goodbye. we had heaps of good times and i wouldn't change them for the world but i need help moving on. please someone tell me what to do? i'm new to this life stuff. its like a chapter is over.i'm talking about just people i know by the way. was anyone else like this when they were young or is it just me?i'm 21

26 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    As they say, the only thing permanent in this life is change. Don't limit yourself by clinging on to the people you know, instead widen your horizons and think of this moment as a time for you to get to meet new people and to learn a lot more. It will be another new adventure for you and that's what makes life more exciting. Also, those people you cherish won't really be leaving, cause you know that in a way they are already part of you and they will always stay that way. This is a small world we live in and I'm sure your paths will cross again and they will be happy when they see you as a better person than when they last saw you.

  • 1 decade ago

    It's not about the age. I'm 8 years older than you are and I'm still trying to get over the love of my life. I know it's hard but I do believe that things happen for a reason. You may think it hurts so bad right now, but don't worry, you will feel better. Whatever you are feeling is normal, everyone goes through it (though some are just good at concealing their sadness). If you want to cry, cry, let it all out. Take all the time you want. You have to acknowledge the loss of this someone special. But you know what? Think of them like a really good party that you've been to. At the party you've had great fun, but you can't bring it back or repeat it, right? The only thing you can do is to remember the good times, and even if the party has ended you can still smile and laugh thinking about it. Now try to think of the person like that great party. You had tons of fun and made a whole lot of good memories together, but you can't bring back the past. They say it's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. You are 21, you have so much going for you. So remember, while it's ok to be sad, never forget that you have alot more happy moments waiting for you!

  • 1 decade ago

    Like they say change is the only constant thing in life. I can relate as I know how it feels. You know somewhere down the line, I'll be where you're at present though I would rather not. Yet I know I'll be there and when that passes I'll be happy again. Whoa! That means you'll be happy too, now dont you feel thankful that life changes so fast else you'd be in this phase for god knows how long! So see sweetie, its just a matter of time. I know, its just too easy to say, hard to follow, harder to believe. But I say believe, thats the crucial part coz once you do that the rest is easy. The rest consists of following what you believe & thats something we all know how to do right?

    You know what touched me the most was how you said it all here, the vulnerability that your words convey. The good news is you're not in the denial mode, thats one damn hard part & you already crossed it honey! You're ready to move on, just see the moving on process in the right perspective and your job is done! Dont resent it, see it as a growing up process, a necessary step. Like say you need to crawl first in order to walk later and you need to fall a few times to learn to walk on your own. Its a step you cant skip but it passes in no time at all!

    Meanwhile what you need to do is shift your focus! Slowly but steadily focus on you. Keep up with your old hobbies or make new ones. Learn things you've always wanted to learn, read books, watch movies /games / concerts or maybe join a class of your choice else do a part time job. Go out with friends or visit the library/gym/park etc. Do whatever you enjoy doing, Keep yourself occupied, you'll feel good about yourself, will be meaningfully employed and it'll take your mind off the things that trouble you so much. The next time you stop to look around, I assure you the pain will replaced by knowledge and strength. You'll probably look back and smile, just hang on till then ;)

  • 1 decade ago

    i completely understand where you are coming from here. I'm 35 YO and lost my best friend in the entire world almost 3 yrs ago and since she died, my life has def been missing her. I feel the same as you that that chapter has closed and i'm not too sure about the next one and how it's starting out.

    Anyway the only thing we can do is go on. Hopefully one day u'll find someone that can fill that emptiness, not their spot but the whole in your heart anyway. I think we're sent people in life that are to make a difference in one way or another and then there are times when they are not meant to be w/us anylonger.

    I hope you find a way of dealing w/this. Good luck to you dear ~ wishing me luck as well ;) , it's hard, but one day at a time is all that will make it easier...good luck again dear!

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Take it one day at time, that i what getting older is all about. How successful you are at life depends how fast and how well you pick yourself up after getting knocked down.

    When something bad happens to me I like to say "If that is the worst thing that happens to me today, I'll be alright" Try it it works.

    Time changes people, it changes their outlooks, relationships and character. The person that you know today might not be the same in a year. Life is about the people that we meet. So go out and meet some new people. I Think you will agree that it would get pretty boring if everything stayed the same.

    Good Luck

  • 1 decade ago

    Life has its ups and downs. If you are talking about relationships, you are 21 you should have experiences before you settle for one. Since I started dating at 13 I thought I was in love at least a thousand times only to discover that it was not really love. And yes, all the break ups hurt and I thought I was going to die with the pain. But then, as days went on and weeks passed by it got better and I took the good and learned from the bad and now at 31 I am happily married and can truly understand what it means to be in love. Not to take anything away from what you are feeling but you will live and you will learn and you will move on. Take the good parts and remember them forever. Take the bad parts and learn from them so that you don't repeat the pattern over again. Feel better!

  • 1 decade ago

    This is what life is all about, we move on from friends as our own personalities change, it is a natural thing.

    I have lots of friends from over the years, but I some I never see at all and they have had an impact on my life in a positive way.

    So, to stop me feeling depressed, I sit and remember all the good times I have had with my friends, I have lost friends to death and illness and have just drifted from others, but i reflect and think how my life is better for them having been in it.

    I'm 32 and miss a lot of friends, but I have moved on with my life and only the memories are part of that now. It gets easier with time. Dont forget you still have a lot of people out there who you have never met yet and thats the adventure of it all.

  • 1 decade ago

    Damn right a chapter is over, and yknow what happens once one chapter is over? There's a next one right on the next page, with a brand new number and opening sentence and everything :) Buy a new pair of jeans or pretty skirt, put on a different colour lippy, go hang out with some people you wouldn't normally and feel good about it, and you'll have a new lease on life :D

  • 1 decade ago

    Life is a journey full of emotional ups and downs...we have to go with it...especially the things we have no choice about!

    Then after that all we can do is make the right choices and enjoy!

    The GOOD thing is it sounds like these were good people and you will have good memories and also further good least you know its possible!

    Some people only have 'failed' relationships and friendships - and thats much more disheartening than losing the good ones...honestly

  • 1 decade ago

    I was that that way but i made plans so that we could stay in touch . Today we have the internet which is much better than waiting for mail the old fashion way .

    Every two years we met and had a familly type reunion, only we called it neighbour to neighbour.friends 4 life.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.