Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 decade ago

Advice on choosing a mate for life?

What pieces of wisdom would you give to a couple (of any combination of genders, sub-genders or species- we're very PC here) so they might be sure that other person (or otherwise) is the right choice?

11 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    A mate for life is not chosen. The partnership between two people who want to establish a life long relationship is nourish every moment of their lives and is tested in many different ways day in day out.

    What is more important is to choose "not the mate for life" but the kind of "life that you and your partner" is willing to make when the two of you have decided to be together.

    As life is dynamic and ever-changing, you and your partner will change and your relationship will grow. For as long as you can both grow together without losing your individuality, rest assured that your partnership will stay for life!

    Take care.

  • Keeper
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    All the answers I've read are very very good information. I totally agree. Allow time for each of you to really really each other. Moods, likes dislikes, goals, careers, children, where to live, how to live, money issues; etc.

    Never forget, that you have to depend on each other, be there for, support, care, love, and it's as much giving as receiving.

    Everything is always changing as time goes on. Discuss absolutely everything before you go into the marriage. Try not to miss anything. The two of you should be able to talk about any and everything. Just make sure you are your self when you with each other in all situations. No tip toeing; Be Yourself Always.

  • 1 decade ago

    getting to know someone takes time. make sure you really feel you know this person (yes it takes more than six months to do this), also how do you feel when you are with that person? How well do you get along and how many things do you have in common? Do you feel you can tell this person anything? If so then you are headed in the right direction with the right person. Nobody can know for sure if the relationship will last forever but we all want it to. you have to make sure that you both work to make things work when the going gets tough. you can never compare your relationship to others they are all different but if your gut tells you that this is right then it probably is.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Make sure that the friendship is a good one.

    After a few years the intial lust will wear off and you need that friendship to see you through that phase. If that is right, then there is every chance that the lust thing will come back too, often better than it was in the first place.

    Without a good friendship you have no chance..

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  • 1 decade ago

    Accept that no one is perfect. Be tolerant and expect your mate to be tolerant. Share interests but have one or two that are your own. Have a similar attitude to money and money management, have similar religious and or spiritual beliefs, have the same level of energy, have respect. If they look beautiful to you that is all that matters - it is in the eye of the beholder. make your own decision - do not be swayed by other people.

  • 1 decade ago

    dont and never rush into things and take things for granted.

    personality and characters will change in life and is never the same. being a couple, they nuture and learn from each another for a better relationship.

    before marriage, mix around more and get to know more about the different characters there are.

    key word is, mix around and know more but playing it safe and not hurting anyone?

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Everyone brings there own quirks and baggage to a new relationship...just like you have yours! It's just a question of figuring out what your willing to live with! Good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    I think love,loyalty, good communication, understanding, respect to each other & flexibility to deal things are the basic line of any kind of relationship

  • be sure you agree on money, children, and sex... both should basically be responsible (pay bills first), both should either want kids or not want kids, and should agree on how to raise them... same standards, morals, values, etc... both should agree on sex... especially in the porn issue... if one does not like porn the other should not watch it... both should agree on what cheating is, flirting, chatting to opposite sex online, webcamming, etc... these are all problems I have seen in the marraige and divorce section here in yahoo answers... also, both should agree on smoking, drugs, weed, drinking, strip clubs, alcohol... good luck to you both! also, discuss if you want a stay at home mom or a career mom... these are all very important issues =)

  • 1 decade ago

    I would go by 'get blessings from the parents' (both yours and your partners'). You would know your partner is the right one when the both of you are blessed by parents of both sides.

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