Would you forgive your better half if....?

Would you forgive your better half if

1) You found an on-line chatting conversation of her/him and another person talking about how much they are 'hot' for eachother, saying that they 'love' eachother and your better half calling the other person the names (hun, babe, hott guy/lady) she/he calls you? And then you confront her/him and their defense is that they were being "sarcastic", 'cause that's how they talk all of the time, "sarcastically".

2) You found out that she has boys/girls who are friends but she/he never told you about them 'cause they 'knew' how you would react towards them.

Hw would you react to these situations? Think of the 'better-half' as being the person you really love.

Update:

By the Way, I'm a guy with a gf.

33 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I would be extremely angry... and probably confront them about this "knowing" how I'd react. I also would probably break it off, if it happened again, or if something of this nature. I might break it off after just that, but if they really are serious (only you can tell that, I can't) then give them another shot. but next time, if there is one, don't hesitate to end it.

  • 1 decade ago

    Okay! I have never been good at sugar coating things so I won't start now. No matter how much you love someone, if they are doing something that hurts you or they pass you off as being paronoid then the love you think you have is one-sided. Or that person doesn't have respect for you and/or your feelings. Someone who loves you should never dismiss your feelings or disrepect your relationship by telling you this is the way they talk all the time. I have several friends who lost the person they loved and thought loved them back to someone they met online.

    The problem however with online relationships is that you can be, do and say anything that you want and the truth never has to come out. If your married or in a relationship this is still cheating "Virtual" but still cheating.

    Try having another very candid, very open, very direct conversation with your (questionable "Better-half") and found out what is causing your better-half to seek comfort and conversation with someone online rather than with you.

    If you can't get clear tangible reasons I'd say you should forget about forgiving them and simply pack your bags and split.

    Once, the trust is broken in a relationship it is extremely hard almost damn near impossible to rebuild. Cut you losses and find someone who wants to be your living breathing (I can touch and love you like you want to be loved companion and not a virtual one) that persons she/he is talking to online could be prevert or locked up in prision serving a life sentence.

    Also, if the person you love is hidding their friends from you, I would ask myself a few questoins first just to make sure that you are not the cause. Like "am i overprotect, controlling, manipulative, possessive etc. NOW BE HONEST if you can say yes to any of these then get some help before you loose "the person you really love"

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I may not have the absolute most experience in this area, but if you really love the person, forgiving them for pretty much anything is possible. I've done similar to #1 just 'cause it's entertaining sometimes. As for #2, it's a bit difficult to say, since your reaction should really depend on what went on with these friends that you may not have known about. If these are some, like, drug addicts, then I'd be a little upset about it. If they're just normal friends and you didn't know about them, that's really not a big deal when you think about it, though it would unnerve me, personally, somewhat just thinking about reasons why this person didn't want me to know about these friends.

    Anyway, to answer your question, yeah. It's a forgivable offense. I suggest you pay close attention to your "better half"s... plans, for lack of a better word. Just make sure that you talk through it with your "better half".

  • 1 decade ago

    On a long term analysis emotional cheating is psychologically much more damaging than physical cheating. If your significant other has a one night stand, it could just be poor judgment, but if they have feelings for someone else on the level of the feelings you have for them then you are not their one and only. Any relationship needs trust and it sounds like your better half does not trust you to trust them. They also do not respect your relationship if they are telling someone else they are "hot" for them; even if they do call other people hun or babe, being hot for someone should be reserved for relationships or singles trying to get laid.

    Just so you know where I am coming from: I ended a 3 year relationship with a boyfriend who was too emotionally close to a girl in a chat room (to the point he told her things he didn't tell me) because it made me uncomfortable and he refused to lessen (not end) contact with her out of respect to my feelings. On the other hand, I recently married a man who I started dating five years ago even though he cheated on me (drunken one night stand) two years into the relationship.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Buddy, I am sorry to say, but that is not love. That is not how love acts. You could show her/him all the affection and love in the world, but if it is only you the relationship cannot stand. There is a saying in the bible I think it is a kingdom divided amongst itself cannot stand. Think of your relationship as the kingdom and you both divided. Obviously she/he is not being very honest or trustworthy. The key factor in any relationship is communication. She is not capable of that apparently. Sorry to have to answer you that, even though you already knew that. Good luck. Be careful I don't know how much you care for this lady but a lot of bad stuff happens on that "all of a sudden crap" that means you were trying to confront her when "all of a sudden you snapped and wound up on america's most wanted.... Becare full let this half go. Obviously she is not your better half. Good luck

    Source(s): Me the bible
  • 1 decade ago

    If the relationship is not sufficiently strong to be fully open with each other then I would strongly suggest finding someone that feels the same way you do about being open and honest.

    Any relationship based on mistrust or dishonesty will generally result in hardship for at least one of the parties involved.

    I do not see this as a matter of forgivesness but more a trust issue. Forgive them and then move on.

  • 1 decade ago

    I know you don’t want to hear this, but I would start to detach myself from (thinking your talking about your girlfriend or boyfriend) that person slowly, unless you see a Real Reason why they going to change. I am telling you this is because every girlfriend that did this type of stuff to me, while with me, had some kind of emotional problem going on inside her. Believe me I know the feeling, and it hurts, not saying to ditch her or him, just look out (keep an eye- ear out), but don’t drive yourself crazy doing that -worrying. It is not worth it. Whatever you do – don’t take it personally. With all of my girlfriends that acted like this, it was all insecurities in them.

    Try to find out why if you can, and see if this person will change and wants too. Tell this person how you feel about them. See if things start to change, wish I could say it worked for me, it didn’t.

    I tried and wish you the best, just kept an eye out, so You do not get hurt, while you slowing start un-investing yourself in the relationship in case things get rough. Not saying sleep around as some guys(/girls?) do when they feel this.. What I did was take some classes at college, in short do something that makes you feel better and gets your mind off of …

    Best wishes

  • 1 decade ago

    First of all, if your better half had any respect for you and they truly loved you, they would not be carrying on that way. If they are in a commitment with you, they have no business chatting online. I believe that is a gateway to temptation.

    If my "better half" did that to me, then I would have a talk with him about it and tell him how uncomfortable it made me feel. If he kept that up with no regard for me or how I felt about it, then I'd question how much he really loved me and whether I wanted to stick around for him to hurt me.

    I'd forgive him, but I would move on if he didn't put a stop to that.

  • 1 decade ago

    Forgive me, but the answer seems obvious here.This person is finding romance (if not other things) on-line. This will only lead to a physical relationship. I hope the "better half" is not your spouse. I also hope you have no kids with "better half". Cuz then you could dump "better half" like Sundays garbage. Good luck with that.

  • 1 decade ago

    i found a TX on my other half phone from a girl I've never heard about and she was calling him Hun saying she'll miss him. he said they are just friend and she was being a bit over friendly as he was leave that job and they weren't going to see each other now. i choose to believe him but i still worry about it a lot. there's a fine line between love and stupidity. it up to you what you do only you know if he's trust worthy. but if i was you i would keep a eye on who he talking to a lot i know i am!

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