Anonymous asked in Politics & GovernmentMilitary · 1 decade ago

dual military, not married, with child, housing?

my spouse will deploying to iraq soon, and she has on post housing. our baby, is currently staying with her, and i will rejoin them bor a brief month or two very soon (currently deployed in korea). my question is, what do i need to do in order to have the child stay with me when she deploys? i will be living at the same post as she is currently stationed. we want this to happen, and were just wondering if anyone had any knowledge of this. also, im on the childs birth certificate, do i still need to take some legal action for shared custody? i dont even know if thats the correct term. any help would be great, thanks!

7 Answers

  • Annie
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    YOu don'tmention rank, which could be crucial here. Also, as she is currently in housing, the child is listed as her dependent. Children can not be claimed as a dependent by both military parents, so for you to be eligalbe for housing or dependent rate BAH, she would have to remove the child as her dependent and you would have to list them as your's. Of course, this would mean she would loose all her dependent rate pay and any seperation pay she would be eligable for while deployed.

    Without knowing your rank, there is no way to say for sure if you would be allowed to live off base. Most bases have enough dorm space that up to E4 are assigned to the dorms. Children can't live in the dorms, so you would have to live off base, and if she won't allow you to list the child as your dependent it would be on single rate BAH. Now I would hope that while you had the child (especially if she kept the child listed as dependent) she would contribute financially. So that could help.

    What you would need to do is have a legal agreement drawn up giving you full custody while she is deployed. Be sure to include what her financial responsibilities would be as far as daycare costs, etc. You would also need a document from base legal giving you power of attorney to make decisions concerning health, medical care and child care if the need arises.

    I will be honest...getting married would simplfy things greatly. Once married, you could simply move into the base housing, so there would be no need to try and move off base and the child could stay in familiar surroundings. You are on the birth certificate, so you would have no problems taking the child for health care. If she is using the base child care center, you would have no need to look elsewhere (assuming your schedules are the same) and won't loose her slot as might happen if you had to live off base and find another place for logistical reasons. Yes, daycare costs may go up as they would base the fee off both salaries, but that would be minimal compared to the costs you may incur going the other route. Once she is back, you can file for divorce and set up a legal custody and child support agreement. YOu may end up being ordered to pay spousal support, but she may have the ability to waive it or you can make a private agreement to use that money to start a college fund for the child. Since time is an issue, this would seem to be the quickest and most expediant thing to do.

  • NWIP
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    She isn't your spouse because you aren't married. But she obviously has the child listed on her page 2 as a dependent because otherwise she wouldn't qualify for housing. In order for you to qualify for housing or BAH w/dependents then you will need to change the child from her page 2 to your page 2. If you are E5 and up then you will qualify for BAH w/o dependents, so you could look into getting an apartment off the base and then have the child living with you. She will need to go JAG and find out all the necessary paperwork for you to have custody of the child. Normally I belive this would be a Family Plan.

  • 1 decade ago

    Well, since your not married, how will the baby stay with you in the barracks ?

    As far as the military goes, your a single soldier.

    She has a family care plan, what does it say ?

    As the previous answerer stated, it would be alot easier, to just get married.

    Then one of you ( higher rank ) will recieve BAH at the married rate and one will recieve BAH at the single rate.

    Unless you live in post housing, then neither will recieve BAH.

  • 1 decade ago

    i'm going to keep it simply he is your son all she has to do is leave him with u unless she disagrees. but if u stay in the dorms u will just have to move to either a house on base or move into a apartment off base. and if u are his father he should already be under ur insurance so u will beable to get him health care while she is gone without a problem. but when all else fails talk to ur shirt ( supervisor about ur sistuation) they should beable to help. And if either one of u would like to join my grop that is there for support and help feel free to join Military spouse club 07.

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  • 4 years ago

    while you're married and protecting a house someplace else mutually as in preparation you may properly be eligible to acquire BAH as properly mutually as in OCS. considering which you're mil-mil you will the two acquire the BAH w/o dependents fee, on the fee of your rank. in case you have infants, then the better score guy or woman gets BAH w/dependents, the decrease score keeps to acquire known BAH w/o dependents.

  • Mrsjvb
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    are you married, or not? if you are not married, it doesn't matter, if the kid is on HER page 2, then whatever her Family Care Plan says is what they go by. If it lists you, then it lists you.. but if you are in Korea, you CANNOT TAKE HIM. if you live in the barracks, you CANNOT take the child.. no dependents are authorized in the barracks.. so unless you could swing BAH..

  • 1 decade ago

    Get married. An eventual divorce would be easier to navigate that this morass.

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