Dont you hate it when you treat someone with love and affection but never get anything in return?
This is something that really bothers me. If I dont feel close to someone than I tend to be a little careless and distant. However, when I actually start developing a bond with him/her I begin having strong feelings of affection and would constatly do things trying to make that person feel happy and loved. I'm talking about anyone who you might feel very strongly attached to such as friends, family, boyfriend, girlfriend etc. What really bugs me is when you often try to be thoughtful but never receive anything in return. It annoys me so much! You do these things to make this person happy but they dont care about your happiness or for any of your emotional needs. I mean I can understand if that person is always buisy but than again can it really be so difficult to think of someone else at least once in a while. I believe that you should get the same love and attention that you are giving to others. I would certainly expect something in return and it's not that I'm being selfish or doing things only to benefit myself in some way but I feel that when you do things in effort to make someone else happy than it's a way of showing them that you care and if this is so difficult for anyone to do than perhaps they dont care about you as much as they say. I enjoy it very much when something I do makes the people I care for feel good about themselves but than again if they dont even bother to do the same than it would make you feel unloved and unable to get yourself to keep doing more for them than they would for you. I am not really a demanding person but when it comes to such matters than yes I guess I fit into this category. Anyway I dont think that you should wait until that person gets upset to the point where they have to mention something about it because they feel a lack of love and appreciation coming from the one who means the world to them. It's not an easy thing to confront anyone about this matter either. The truth is that even if you do manage to say something it wont make much of a difference if any at all. When people act this way I feel that they're being inconsiderate or just cannot get themselves to sympathize with you. Something like this would surely cause me to grow cold and I would need to hide into my shell trying to protect myself from them. The most annoying part is when they act like it's not a big deal and try to shrug it off. Not only that but they add things such as "I really care about you" into the conversation which confuses me to no end. I hate liars and besides how is the other person supposed to know that you really care about them if you seem to value them the same as dirt. Most of the time I have noticed that people just do more to please you when there's something they want. You hope that they'd want to do it because they care but often that's not the case at all. How careless can another person possibly get? It's just showing how cold he/she is. Some people may say that not everyone is good at showing emotions but than again can it really be so hard to provide someone with reassurance and showing them that they actually mean something to you unless of course that's not really how you feel about that person in the first place. Tiny little thoughful gestures really wont kill anyone. Well I guess a lot of this has to do with how different people are from each other. Almost always the individuals I have been closest to have had personalities much different from my own. Such differences have always gotten in the way causing conflict to arise. It's not that any person is right or wrong but if their views of life contradict than feelings are at risk of getting injured. In my opinion it's better to try and get close to those similar to yourself because this way there will be a better understanding from both sides and feelings would be spared.
Have you ever had to deal with such a situation and how would it make you feel?
So anyway what I'm trying to say is that I dont act expecting anything in return but if I dont have any reason to believe that I matter to them than sooner or later my insecurities will kick in.