Thinking of having a fifth child...?

I am thirty five and said I would be finished having children by the time I was thirty five. I have four healthy children with my husband of thirteen years (all are ours together). My husband says it is my choice. I cannot decide if I truely want another one or if I am just feeling sadness that that part of my life might be over. Isn't it still true that rates of birth defects go up at 35 and older? Are there some moms that just always have the feeling of loving and wanting babies? Am I normal :) Help me know the truth - point something out that I am not thinking of.

14 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Actually the rates of birth defects go up as young as 29 (like 1 in 459 births)...and yes after 35 chances will go up and your Dr will run more tests to see if there may be a problem...but plenty of women have healthy babies after 40 even. Why you would want to be pregnant at that age I have NO idea!!

    Well...something to think're 35....when your child is 10 you will be 45....if you are tired now imagine how you would feel then? Plus fertility goes down as you get older so it may take some time to actually get pregnant...

    I LOVE having children and would have a million if I could (well...maybe not that many but you know what I mean)...BUT I have opted to have my tubes tied after this one. My Dr says that his rule of thumb is...if you can afford it would you have it? If the answer is don't have to do anything drastic in order to keep from getting pregnant...that way if you still want children in another few can.

    It's really your would be the one pregnant (varicose veins and all) and nursing it...getting up every 2 hours to feed it....PLUS you'll be older and starting over again...with diaper changes and play dates and temper you want to do that at your age? In a few years would you want to?

    And you can always wait another year before totally giving up the idea of wanting another child. Sometimes all it takes is time to see things in a different light.

    Good luck...and I am sad to with getting my tubes tied....BUT I just turned 34 and well....for myself and my husband...we're just too old to start over again.

    Source(s): mom of 3 and one on the way
  • 6 years ago

    You should, and dont worry what others think! I've just found out im pregnant with #5 today so will be 35 when baby is due. My husband and I and the children are over the moon to have another addition to the family and I too think its the right time to have another baby as I also didnt want to leave it too late!

    The more the merrier I say..

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If you really want another one, go for it. It's now or never. You don't want to wait until your 40, then the risks really go up. My cousin just had her first and she's 30. I don't think you're too old. I'm 26, have 3 kids, no more. Hubby got fixed. My youngest is 11 months tomorrow. I already feel sad that soon she'll be 1, then 2 then in school and I won't have any more babies. BUT, the positive - no more diaper bags, car seats, baby shots, sleepless nights, etc. But, I would do it all over again, I love babies. That's just me though. Talk it over w/ your hubby. Good luck!

  • Jenn
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    I'm 25 with two children. My daughter is 9 and my son is 3. I tell everyone that I am done. I know that feeling you are having...I want to do it all over again cause it's a wonderful feeling but reality sinks in. I pay $700 in daycare and my children's father pays me a whopping $0.00 a month!!!

    Personally if you can afford another child why not have one. I think it needs to be a joint decision though, not just up to you. My mother had my little brother at 41 and he has down syndrome. Know that you are at a higher risk of birth defects and complications but if you have the child, that's what God meant for you to have =) Good Luck

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If you want another baby and feel you can provide for another then have one. its been said that over the age of 35 risks are higher, but it doesnt mean it will be in your case. if you are healthy and have no problems then theres no reason why you cant have a healthy baby just because of your age. sometimes throughout your life people will want more children and have them, but you have to really think and make sure its the right choice for you. good luck.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    you are completely NORMAL!! My cousin is due in April with her sixth child, and a lot of family members have said things like I can't believe she is pregnant again and stuff like that, which I believe it is totally up to her and her husband just like in your case. if you can support another child emotionally and financially then I would say it is great if you want more children. i have a 5 yr. old daughter and 3 yr. old twin boys and I am 24 and my husband and I have decided that we definately do NOT want anymore children, but that is a personl choice and nobody else can do that for you, and do not let peoples comments about "too many children" make you think twice about something as precious as a baby, if you want another baby I think you should go for it. Take care.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If you truely in your heart want another baby go for it. I know MANY MANY mothers over the age of 35 that have had completly healthy babies. they say statistically over 35 your chances increase for having multiples and children with downs.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Yes the birth defect rates do go up. but that is not a reason to not try.You are in a stable relationship and want to add one more addition to your family thats a wonderful thing not something to ponder about.Also there is a reason you want another and its not because you miss having babies... its because you are supposed to have one for one reason or another.good luck

    Source(s): my father was an older first time father
  • 5 years ago

    To make sure it's not strep throat. It has the same symptoms. Fifth disease sufferers do not have swollen tonsils or throat redness.

  • You
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Well, if you really want another child go for it.

    I'm thirty years old, and trying for the fist one... (couple more to go)

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