Can a guy go soft and still be aroused? My sister just called me crying?

because about twice a month her husband can't finish.... He told her he is aroused but she doesn't believe him...she is really upset. He is in his mid fortys.

17 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    There could be biological or psychological reasons for that.

    It probably has nothing to do with your sister or her appearance to him. She needs to have him swallow his pride and go see a DR. he may have some underlying health issues (swollen prostate) he doesn't know about.

    The best thing for her to do is talk to him about her feelings and tell him she's blaiming herself.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Holy crap - calling people crying because a mid 40s guy loses it a couple of times???

    What kind of men are you used to? Haven't you ever dried up? What if a guy ran away crying when you did? How crappy would you feel?

    Men are humans too you know. Women expect them to be sex robots or something.

    She had better get used to it. If by a couple times a month you mean like 1/10 of the time? That's really not a big deal. And her making a big deal out of it puts pressure on him, which will make it even worse. As he gets older, it'll become more common.

    Maybe she should stop worrying about her own stupid ego and try to help his.

  • 1 decade ago

    she needs to spice things up first of all. But guys tend to make their minds wander during sex so keep them from climaxing too soon. He could be doing this and whatever he's thinking of to keep him going until she finishes might be too distracting and turning him off actually. My husband sometimes does that, he gets softer as I'm on him and I tell him to focus on me only, If he needs to Cu* that's fine, he still stays hard for a lil while after he does so I can finish.

  • Kaya M
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Some men can do that, they are still feeling aroused but the physically is not responding to the thoughts in his head. This will happen after the first time he has *** from making love before. Tell her to try squeezing her nookie muscles to create more friction on him when he is inside of her. See, if there is friction, it will stay standing longer.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Hey, Tell her to chill and give him some slack, Hes in his 40s and men may have physical changes- or -could be med"s he's taking. I take med"s for depression and bipolar disorder and i can go for 6 hours strait and never climax.

    If it keeps happening see a doc and try some ed drugs.

    Don't just assume hes not interested or wants someone else.

    Talk about it and try believing him. good luck!

    Source(s): Been there-done that!
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    She needs to chill out. She is disrespecting him by sharing such intimate details with someone else. I'm sure he's embarassed enough as it is, but her telling people makes it even worse. You should advise her to keep those matter private and to see a doctor if there is a problem instead of crying to you or someone else.

  • 1 decade ago

    He is getting older and his body is changing. He is not going be as hard as he use to unless he starts eating right and exersizing or getting the little blue pill. Guys can be totally soft and still have a orgasm.

  • smt
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    As guys age, these things happen. Hell, they even happen to young men! Your sister shouldn't take it personally. Her husband should see a doctor to make sure that he's healthy and that there isn't an undiagnosed problem.

  • 1 decade ago

    Tell her to buy a vibe and finish herself off if he can't! Good grief what a whiner. Love, desire and sexuality don't always equal a hard dick!

    Tell her to apologize to him for making him feel bad (which I am sure she did), grow up, and next time give him head to finish the job!

  • 1 decade ago

    He is in his mid 40's give the guy a break.

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