MS.B asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 decade ago

What do you do when your envious of someone you know who is living their life?

One of my friends I went to highschool with, i feel like is just living her life. She graduated college, and is now going for her Masters in Nursing. She owns her own home, has a career, all at 28. I am not jealous, but just little envious. I think in life sometimes we wish we did things differently. I'm a single parent, working, and in the process of having my child diagnosed for ADHD. There are so many things I want to do but, can't get moving. WHY??? Why can't I get that first foot out there? What is preventing me from moving? Why do I feel stuck? Am I jealous and not envious? Any advice?

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    What you are feeling is natural, but don't focus on it too long. Your friend may appear from the outside to "have it all", but she has problems like everyone else. I would stay in the moment of things and not project too far out. I was a single parent for a short time and felt overwhelmed and a failure, even though I had a law degree, was practicing at one the nation's top law firms, owned a home on the beach, etc. When I felt the worst, I forced myself to do this exercise. When I was at work, I would force myself to think about at least one thing that was great or good during my day (sometimes it was difficult to do, but it may have been as simple as thinking about a warm conversation with a co-worker, or getting at least one project done, or even starting one project...) Then when I would get the kids, I would have them name one great/good thing about their day. I would focus on this, instead of what I didn't get done, what I could've been if I hadn't had kids in lawschool, what I could've done to save my marriage. Now I am remarried, very happy and content. No I am not a partner at a big law firm, but my once hyperactive son is a popular junior in high school and my daughter is a scholar in college. Both are a comfort and a friend and I now see them as my greatest accomplishments, not my law degree or my career or my house...my kids are it! Good luck to you. You are doing fine, sweetheart.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I dont know if you are a religious person but praying worked for me..

    I also feel the same way sometimes.. or used to feel like this..

    but life has taught me better. you cant go on in your life checking what others have that you dont. Feeling envy towards someone is like adding a darkness to your life so if you would meditate and realize you are fortunate to have what you have because many people have it worse i think it would help. The girl you're saying has all this things might have all that because she made some right decisions at the right time. but im sure she's not always right, and might also feel confused in some situations.

    anyways you need to focus on you and not anybody else. Everybody at some point wish they did something differently. But you cannot get stuck in the past because you'll make your life a misery. try to think possitive and plan what you want for your future but remember things are different now and more with a child about to be diagnosed with ADHD. It will be very difficult to focus on you with your kid but I believe you must seek some support from someone else. maybe your parents I dont know. someone to help you at times with the boy so you can focus on you. Like I said this will not be easy and more importantly would be to focus on your boy as much as you can.

    and again get someone .. a relative or a friend to help with this difficult situation

    Good Luck

  • 1 decade ago

    You must learn to live your life as though you HAVE succeeded, you DO HAVE the time you need, the money you want, the Love you want, then these things will come to you. Make your choice to live the successful life RIGHT NOW. It is a choice. Make it. Once you see you are moving a successful life, everything you wish for will come to You.

    Cheers.

  • 1 decade ago

    Start taking classes, if you want to better your life, well do so, even if its a night class. You have to start somewhere, and don't make excuses about why you can't if you really want to change your life you will.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Its fear. Fear of success or Fear of failure.

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