Could you give me your opinion on this situation,please?

I have been married for 8 years and have a 1 year old daughter. My husband and I have never really had a "good" relationship. Two years ago my husband cheated on me with my sister-law. Because I was scared and stupid I stayed. Becuase it was with my sister in law my life has changed very much. I am very close to my family and because of this I have had to stay away from parties and get together's from the people we know since my brother is usually there. I am no longer able to be with my family for Thanksgiving or Christmas etc. etc. No one in my family knows expect my parents and of course my brother. For the past two years when I do go to parties I end up going by myself if my brother will be there and have to make up excuses to why my husband did not go. It is obviously becoming harder & harder to come up with excuses. My husband & I have been trying to make our marriage work but it's extremely hard. Do you think it's worth it to keep going & become accustomed to living like this?

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    You don't say if the sister in law is still involved in this family. If not, why not bury the past and move on. If she is, the truth may come out one day and things will blow up in everyones faces. So not stay away from your family because of this. Your husband made the mistake not you. Go and enjoy your family and leave him at home. Either your husband and your brother need to come to grips with this, or forever be hiding from each other.

  • 1 decade ago

    It would make things a lot easier if you could get over it to the point that everyone could attend family gatherings. After all, 2 years have gone by and how much worse would it be than what it is now? Aren't there enough people at these gatherings that the 2 could avoid each other? I'm sorry if I sound cold - I don't mean to but when you do get through this you will have a very solid marriage!

  • 1 decade ago

    I think what you should do is stop living like that. Start going to parties and family functions as a couple. If your husband has not already made amends with your brother, he should at the least offer his sincere apology to him. You are able to be with your family for major holidays -- you did nothing wrong. Furthermore, there is no reason why your husband cannot accompany you. He did wrong, and if he has to deal with a little shame, so be it. You're still married, so this doing things separately needs to be stopped.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well, instead of focusing on the negative, focus on what is good in your life right now. You and your husband trying hard to make it work. To me that's big. Don't think of yourself as stupid. It takes a bigger woman to forgive and move on. Your husband knows this, that's why he is trying hard now. Don't let the family gathering bother you. You have to accept that you can't be close with your family anymore. Invite your parents ONLY over to your place for the holidays. Trust me, it's not easy but it's not that bad. Holidays comes around once a year. What is important is your relationship with your husband now. One day, you will have your own holiday traditions with your kids. And none of this will bother you anymore.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I find a bit overreaction to avoid your family meeteings because of this. Cheating is happening all around the world in each minutes maybe thousands. So what happened in your family that is not something what you should celebrate, but even not so terrible that you have to avoid the events. Go there, behave naturally, adult persons may accept your presence and the story also. Italians say for this "at least, it remaind in the family".

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If it is really affecting the way that you have to interact with your family than I would really think about it. You don't say exactly but it would also really matter wether or not the work you are doing on your marriage is progressing. If you are not making the progress you were expecting in your marriage than I would move on.

  • 1 decade ago

    bang ur head on the wall so u'll wake up...i dont even know or understand y ur family is putting up w/ this ****...u shud have left that asshole u married and stop sacrificing ur good relationships w/ other loved ones

  • Joy
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Your mate sounds controlling.

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