How will I cope with two babies?

Hi, I have a 10 month son already and have just found out that I am 8wks 4 days pregnant, I really dont know how I am going to cope as I'll only be 20 when the new baby is born.

My 10 month old is brilliant, such a happy baby and I dont want to push him out or make him feel not wanted.

I was on Birth control ( the pill) but obviously it didnt work for me. I have been with the father for 6 years and we have a good relationship, but I am still worried about how we will cope.

Anyone had babies close together or got any good advice for me?

10 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    You should manage very well. My two girls are exactly 364 days apart. The oldest celebrates her birthday the day after the younger. They are the same age for a little less than 24 hours.

    The pill didn't work for me either...more than once.


    Establish a routine with your son now. Keep it up as the months pass. Incorporating another child into a pre-existing schedule is easier than trying to hit or miss figuring something out with 2 babies later.

    To make sure your son does not feel left out or excluded, try to have time alone with him when the baby is asleep. Even if it is only for 5 or 10 minutes before his own nap, he will appreciate his special time with you. Several times a day will keep him in the happy zone.

    If his bath time is not a special ritual, make it one now. Use this time to tickle and splash and play with him.

    Do similarly for mealtimes. Make it as special as possible.

    Be sure to make him 'responsible' for his younger sibling. Give him little tasks to do to help 'take care of' the baby (get the diaper or lotion, etc.), even if you have to help him do it. Let him know that the newborn is 'his' baby too. It will make him feel lik he is a big help to you and very special to the new baby.

    Teach him a little song to sing 'just for the baby', and you two sing it to the baby together.

    Be sure to store up a small supply of gifts for him to get when people drop by with something for the baby.

    Try not to lose it if he makes mistakes. He is, and will still be a little thing, and is counting on you for all of the TLC, patience, and understanding he can get.

    He IS going to be noisy at times when you least want him to be, but if you are patient (extrememly patient), he will learn the new ropes and things will work out.

    Also, be aware of people telling him he is not he baby anymore. A child who was THE baby on Tuesday, and isn't on Thursday won't get it. Make sure he knows that there are two babies in the house, one is just the big brother.

    There will be times when he may want your attention and you are busy with the baby. If it is appropriate, let him take priority.

    Get creative with distractions. Sometimes if you can get his focus on something else, that will buy you a few minutes. Those new toys come in handy here, too.

    He is going to be frustrated, and upset. And you won't know why. Neither will he. This is when major league babying will come into play. Let someone else handle the newborn issues for awhile, and you cuddle your #1 baby.

    If there are things you did before the baby arrived (morning programming, etc.) try to adhere to that schedule as much as possible. Breaks in former routines are not the best idea after the baby arrives. Although, if you need to make adjustments, do them as gradually as possible. Children are resilient, but too many changes at once can distress them.

    Congratulations on the new baby. I hope that you find some of this info useful.

    If you have any questions, feel free to email me.

    Hope I helped. God bless you and your family.

    Source(s): Mom of 8.
  • 5 years ago

    Honestly, not that tough. I have a 3 month old and a 22 month old, so do know what I'm talking about. Newborns are relatively easy, they sleep most of the time. Just try to get them napping at the same time, so that you can rest or do housework, or whatever. And also, if you get stressed out and need a break, or your older one needs you an your baby starts to cry, just remember, babies have no sense of time and there is nothing wrong with putting the baby safely in bed, and shutting the door and just going away to a different room for 3-5 minutes. i know it doesn't sound like very long, but you would be amazed how much it helps. Don't leave him alone for too long, but no baby has ever died from crying for 5 minutes. We made sure to remind my older son every day while I was pregnant that he was gonna be a big brother and by the time the baby was born, he really was okay with the idea. Let your older kid help with the baby as much as you are comfortable with, that way they bond and you are spending time with both together. Oh yeah, and above all, BREATHE.

  • 1 decade ago

    My boys are 28 months apart. When my second son was born I was so worried about how I would be able to give my first son the care he was used to. I stopped breast feeding because he was upset. I had a c-section and the new baby was all over me and I couldn't pick up my 2 year old. He reverted a little too - like drinking from a bottle when he was already using a sippy cup. I included the older child as much as possible and before I could blink they became playmates. They've had friends that were twins and they've been mistaken for twins many times. This morning the little one helped me make breakfast for his big brother for his birthday. Do you have siblings? I'm glad I do. Lot's of luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    I had my first two 17 months apart and then my third came 23 months after the 2nd. I won't lie it is a lot of HARD work but it all somehow works itself out in the end! You shave to find a routine and let the kids adapt. If it seems overwhelming take a break (if they scream you at least know they're breathing..LOL).....never react when your extremely upset. My kids are now 10, 9 & 7 and they are wonderful! I couldn't imagine not having them so close together. They are all very close together, they're able to entertain each other and they all tend to go through similar stages at once.

    Trust me when I say it's possible and that your current child will adjust just fine! Oh and I was 20 when I started and 24 when I had my's doable.....just enjoy them. They grow so fast!! Best of luck.............

    Source(s): Mommy of 3 with one on the way!!!
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  • 1 decade ago

    I had 5 kids in just under 7 yrs. Two of them are 14 months apart and two are 19 months apart. It is hard but you can do it. Chances are it won't be nearly as bad as you fear. Hopefully your little one is sleeping thru the night or will be by the time the new one arrives. He'll be walking by then and able to feed himself. It really isn't so bad. But do make sure to let your son still be a baby if he wants too. (One of mine thought he was all grown up at 9 months old LOL.) Involve him as much as you can with the new baby so he doesn't feel like he's been replaced. Read to him while you feed the baby and let him help bring you the baby's diapers or blankets and things, but don't push him to be your "big helper" before he's ready. Also try to stick as close as you can to his regular bath and bedtime routines. You'll do fine.

  • 1 decade ago

    i have 3 1/2 years between mine so i don't know exactly what your going through, i guess though you just carry on with things, the 9 months pregnancy gets you ready for a new baby and then you just take each day as it comes. your other child will get used to the fact you have another baby coming if you involve him with the pregnancy and show him scan pics and remind him often about the baby. try taking him to toddler groups to get him used to other children and baby's and he will be OK.

    Good Luck

  • 1 decade ago

    My mom had twins girls and the day before they turned one she had another girl. All before she was 20. Also, my father was away in the Navy. She did an excellent job raising them (I was born 16 years later). She was patient, kind, and loving. She also made sure she took care of herself emotionally, by occasionally leaving them with her mom to take a few hours a weeks to do things for herself.

    Take care and best of luck!!!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I am going to have my 2nd baby 16 months after the first. Someone once told me that I will have it a little bit easier than someone with twins. So, just keep that in mind. You'll make it through--it will be hard, but all worth it!

  • i am 18 years old and i have a sister who is a year and 10 days younger than me...i asked my mom the same did she do it?...and she said...while i took my nap around 11 or 12 she played with my younger sister and they had fun and bonded...then when i got up it was time for my sister to take her then she would play and have fun with me...i guess it just depends on you....if i ever have kids that close in age i would love it...they would be able to play with each other and relate a little bit can take them to the mall or have play dates...just have fun with them...good luck

    Source(s): my momma and I. :)
  • 1 decade ago

    You will be able to do it just fine. Set up a strict schedule to adhere to so that you stay sane. Each child does not have to specifically have alone mommy time. Just include them both in whatever you are doing, talk to them, and love them.

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