CSL503 asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 decade ago

Need advice, wedding etiquette?

I got married a year ago and Four friends showed poor behavior. It included taking bottles of liquor from the bar, sitting on the venue's porch railing, hanging on the overhang, and smoking the non-smoking building. One of them (Sam) lost his keys. A friend found them, and rather than say thanks, Sam yelled and accused him of stealing, and tried to start a fight. We send thank you notes as we got gifts instead of after the wedding. Everyone who attended except The Four gave a gift, so The Four never got a thank you note. We realized this, considered sending one, but we really weren’t that thankful for their behavior. Year later, still no gift or a card. A mutual friend told us The Four gave them a wedding present. We're confused because our wedding was a couple months before the other couple’s, yet they got a gift from these guests while we paid for damages to the venue. Were we wrong to not send a thank you note for attending? Should we feel slighted by these people?

9 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    In my opinion, you should not send thank you cards solely based on if you received a present or not they should be sent for thanking the guests for sharing your special day with you. Now regarding your friends in this case it was not wrong of you to not send a thank you note. You obviously were not grateful they shared the day with you because of the inappropriate behavior. As a matter of fact, your "friends" owe you an apology and you should feel slighted. You may also be confused about the relationship you have with them. They don't really sound like friends.

  • mj
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    A Thank You note for attending a wedding is not done, a Thank you note for a gift given would be proper so in this case, no Thank You card. I, personally, would not associate with these people and consider the whole incident water over the dam and get on with you blissful wedded life.....

  • kiwi
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    I've never, everheard of sending thank you notes for some who merely attended. Especially if they trashed the place and tried to start fights, stole liquor and smoked at a nonsmoking building.

    Those people are simply rude, and thoughtless. They're not worth bothering with. And don't hold your breath waiting for a gift. Not gonna happen.

    Cross them off your friends list, and forget about them.

  • Ista
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    You don't send a thank you note to someone that doesn't bring a gift and causes troubles on top of that.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    No don't feel bad because then they are going to think that what they did was the correct thing to do and it wasn't. If you send them a thank you they will feel like they did the correct thing and your not thankful for what they did.

  • 1 decade ago

    I wouldn't send a thank you card unless you got something. I say stop worrying about it and move on and enjoy being newlyweds. They must not value your friendship enough to care and act like adults. Then again, that is my opinion.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    The best thing to do is to be open with them regarding how you feel. If you don't want to be friends with them, it's understandable, but just get over this non-communication and move on with life.

  • 1 decade ago

    they don't sound like friends no you weren't wrong for not sending them a card

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    yes they were rude and do not deserve a thank you they don't seem very good friends

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.