How do I get my very sweet teenage daughter to quit piercing her body?

My daughter has four or five piercings in each ear, a belly button one and one just above her lip. I never know when or where she is going to have another one.

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  • 1 decade ago
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    This is a pretty long answer but I'm sure it will help.

    What you need to understand is that she's doing it perhaps partly to rebel but also to express her individuality. If you try force her to stop chances are it will get worse or she'll get it done unsafely and risk complications. It's also possible for it to escalate to where she tries to find other ways to rebel.

    I know that as a parent you can't understand why she would want to do this to herself. It is unlikely that she is trying to hurt herself (piercings aren't normally about the pain). You think you did something wrong but you haven't. Think back to when you were her age and what things you did that your parents felt the same about. Times change, the way teenagers rebel changes, prents views often don't. Don't make her take any out, she will resent you even if she takes them out later.

    I suggest you sit down and have a good heart to heart. Don't get angry and make sure she knows you're not attacking her. Don't pull the "my roof, my rules" trick, it makes things worse.

    Listen to her and try understand, tell her how you feel but do it calmly. Perhaps come up with a compromise. Decide what is ok with you. Let her understand that if she wants any other piercings she can come and discuss it with you calmly. If you see she is going to be adamant and get it anyway rather go with her so you can supervise it.

    If it's rebellion she'll loose interest when she doesn't get the attention. It'll take patience on your part but it'll get better results than forbiding or fighting with her.

    It may be a phase but there is always a chance that it's not in which case it won't go away and to make her take them out or stop would make her as unhappy as if she loved swimming and you stopped her.

    I hope this'll help you.

    Source(s): Reaper-Master piercer 7 years experience 45 piercing (30 retired), 1 suspension
  • 1 decade ago

    First there are no laws stating a person can't get a piercing.. That is just not true! Its the palours themselves that make up teh rules and for most its 14 or 16 with parents permission and then 16 or 18 without..depending on location of teh piercing, the shop and teh country/state/province. If she's over 18 there nothing you can do other then telling her how you feel. And if she's doing good in school not causing any trouble then why would it matter? I think people look at piercings and think of them as bad, and I don't know why. Its a person themselves who are bad and having piercings have nothing to do with how a person is. Also its her body and life..sorry to sound blunt but its true.

  • 1 decade ago

    How old is she? In 28 states, if she's under age 18, she can't do it without your permission. Is she paying for them with her own money that she earns from a job?

    Other than stomping your foot down ;), have you talked with her about the reasons you don't want her to get any more piercings? Are you worried about health hazards, or just the way they look?

    If she's an older mature teen who understands what she's doing, including the consequences, I'd call it self-expression and let it go. But if she's younger than 17 (16 if she's really mature) and you really feel strongly that she shouldn't have any more piercings, you may have to just assert your parental right to say "no."

  • 1 decade ago

    You need to find out where she is getting them, and file charges against them. If she's fifteen, it is very illegal for them to give her piercings without your permission.

    From this and your other question, it sounds like you are afraid to put your foot down and dicipline your daughter. You need to let her know who is in charge! You! Take out the piercings, throw out her slutty clothes, take away all priviledges unless she complies with you. You're the mom! Show her who is boss!! :) Also, if she's fifteen she can't drive, so how is she getting to these places where she is getting piercings and buying slutty clothes? Restrict who she can hang out with, and don't let her go to these places where she can get these things. You should know where she is at all times!

    Good luck! Email me if you have other questions, I am a nanny and I have been specializing in "difficult" or rebellious kids for a while now.

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  • She is your teenage daughter? Are you talking under 18? If under 18 then just tell her! If she comes home with a piercing then take it out!!!! 18 or 19 then do nothing, it's her body, her life.

  • 1 decade ago

    I agree with 1Selkie and I know she is under 16 yrs old and a very sweet girl, and trying to express herself far too soon. Ask her to please look at the health hassards of this, at such a young age. She will be old enough far too soon to do what she wants to.

  • It's just a form of expression. You said yourself, she's very sweet so you shouldn't worry. It really doesn't matter how many holes a person has in her body as long as they are a good person - and it sounds like your daughter is.

  • 1 decade ago

    honey, im 17, and there are verrry few things that my mom could tell me to make me stop doing things.

    as far as i'm concerned, a peircing grows back. a tatoo doesn't.

    im sure she knows that, too.

    the only thing that i can suggest is for you to urge her to do it SAFELY.

    when parents tell their kids not to do something, that's the first thing they'll go do.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    to tell you the truth you should probably sit her down and tell her that you want to go with her to get a piercing act like it is ok to confide in you so when she starts with the tatoos she will ask you instead of sneaking around and getting one

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    She'll quit herself. It's a rebellious phase, if you say anything she'll just get mad.

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